"Breaking The Silence: Children's Stories" is a documentary airing on PBS that brings much-needed attention to the plight of abused mothers who are trying to protect their abused children from their abusive fathers. The American Judges Association has reported that "studies show that batterers have been able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases."…
Article comments
126 - Kelly Baker
There sure are a lot of misogynist comments on here from a bunch of people claiming to respect and treat women well. Why are these men so opposed to keeping sexually abused children away from their abusers?
Why are they so angry that children are telling their side?
Why do they conflate children being heard when they report abuse with attacking all men?
Do they believe all other men are also beating their wives and raping their children? So if one gets held accountable the cat is out of the bag and they all have to stop? Wrong guys, most men do not hate women or abuse children.
127 - John Jameson
what "rights" are all of these angry "dads" asking for exactly? The right to have a child's report of sexual abuse by their father ignored? The right to punish a woman who divorces you by taking the kids away from her? The right to make sure women who report domestic violence are ignored or better yet punished by the courts for telling on them?
What RIGHTS are we talking about?
128 - Pat Parker
I don't see why these angry men are so insistently changing the subject.
The kids in that video told the camera that they didnot want to be with their abuser. They said that they were afraid to be with himbecause more abuse would happen. What is so threatening about abused children telling the world about how they feel and how they want to be protected from abuse? Who could possibly feel angry about these kids speaking up besides an abuser?
129 - hmmm...
can one of you boys show me ONE place where even ONE feminist claims that women are never abusive or men are never victims?
THANKS
130 - reality
Well, if all of you had kept up with things in the media, you know what......find it yourselves.
Breaking the Silence has a few secrets.
131 - Rick
This IS a very scary group. They attack every man, every father and every parent who simply wants to be a part of his kids lives.This lady Heller something, flatly refuses to acknowledge the fact, that there are some great, caring, loving an outstanding fathers, whom have been falsely accused of henious crimes by the mother and her unscrupulous attorneys just to get the upperhand in a custody case.Lies, innuendoes and false allegations, are a part of their tools and weapons they frequently use to deny an innocent child his/her right to have a healthy and loving relationship with her/his father. The feminist movement and it's puppets, are successfully implementing their goal of eliminating men from the equation,and as a result, our children will suffer at the hands of their mothers, the real abusers.
132 - Angella
Honestly men DO have rights and I hardly think that should be a question. I have seen this happen, where children were given to unfit- abusive fathers more often then I have seen it go the other way. I think that if YOUR NOT ABUSIVE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT HERE. I have read this book and I think its great, it doesn't say all men are bad at all. However, I just read through some of these comments and saying things like the author should be shot etc ... does not prove you are not violent in the least. Saying "Abusive fathers are far more likely than nonabusive parents to fight for child custody, not pay child support, and kidnap children" is a fact. That doesn't mean its anti-men- this book is anti-abusive men and Everyone should be against abusive men- esp. non-abusive men. They are the ones giving you a bad name, not the women who stand up for each other and children.
133 - Rick
In a Domestic dispute, all a woman has to do is call 911, say she was physically, verbally or emotionally abused and the man is immediately arrested. Without ANY prove, he can be incarcerated for weeks. In the meantime, the Social Worker assigned to the case, is telling this woman, that in order to protect herself and her children from this "Monster" and sociopath, there are many ways to completely eliminate him from her life. Then, in conjunction with her attorney, the GAL assigned to the case, the court psychologist and the therapist,they begin to build a case all based on "false allegations".From then on, it is the responsibility and duty of the father to prove himself innocent of all those evil and wicked lies.These tactics ladies and gentlemen, are widely and very often use by the legal and mental health communities to get the upperhand in custody cases and in the process, ruin the man's life. Unfortunately and for obvious reasons, NOBODY keeps any statistics on this HUGE problem and the people involved, knowing that what they do is deeply wrong, illegal and unethical, usually look the other way. I challenge anybody here on these boards to openly, honestly and , with the facts, address this travesty of the law.
134 - Darla LeNoir
Whoever Mom, is thank you for posting the site about my daughter Keyarah on Oct 27! My sister told me just today.
I was accused of PAS, unfortunately it wasn't true, however, that didn't stop the courts from actually taken my daughter from the lifestyle she was accustomed to and placing her in squalor.
Now my ex-husband gets to warp her mind and make her believe she can only be on welfare because he's to lazy to get off of his butt and get a job.
Yes, I've seen woman use their children to get back at their ex, however, these same women are the ones raising and supporting these children, the "fathers" are claiming to love. I'm not saying all me are dogs, just the majority, which is mostly all of them.
Their are very "few men" who actually want their children, the others, like my ex, just wants the support and guess what I don't mind paying it, my daughter is worth every, every penny of it! Do I care that it doesn't go for her? No, I still send her clothes, shoes, and whatever else she needs, it's not about my ex, it's about my daughter and yes he is a "a**hole" and he knows it.
I myself take joy in knowing "Every DOG does have it's day!" Hopefully I'm around to see it!
135 - Rick
Mrs. LeNoir: Forgive me for asking but how in the world did you EVER have a child with such a low-life loser? Most women who are ALWAYS complaining about how awful and terrible their exx are, ALL dogs, seem to lack a sense of being keenly selective and not jumping in bed with the first idiot that offers them the moon. As a man, I am aware of the fact that there are thousands of men...? who do not deserve to be call fathers and in fact, should be locked up for their irresponsible behavior. On the other hand, there are millions of us who happen to be outstanding dads, caring, loving and excellent providers. You want to save yourself any future headches? Be careful who you have kids with.Don't blame us all for YOUR mistakes.
136 - reality
Mrs. LeNoir,
then why do they call it the Malicious Mother Syndrome? Funny how when mommy does the PAS to the child, no one holds a benefit for the Father.
I have access to many cases regarding PAS, the court trnascripts and so on. After reading thru many of them, the right decision was made, custody to the father.
137 - Angella
Rick-
You said "In a Domestic dispute, all a woman has to do is call 911, say she was physically, verbally or emotionally abused and the man is immediately arrested. Without ANY prove, he can be incarcerated for weeks. In the meantime, the Social Worker assigned to the case, is telling this woman, that in order to protect herself and her children from this "Monster" and sociopath, there are many ways to completely eliminate him from her life."
I am not trying to attack you, but that is not really true.
I have been thrown in jail because my ex-fiancé attacked me and the neighbor called the cops because we were fighting. We BOTH went to jail and I didn't do anything wrong, believe it or not.
Also- emotional and verbal abuse is really hard to prove and to get someone arrested for- Even when someone is obviously physically abused the abuser may only be held for one night and sometimes he isn't even held that long. I wish it was that easy, maybe less people would suffer honestly since they could get proper help. I know all of this from experience so at least for me this is all the truth.
Lastly- getting rid of an abuser is not easy, in fact, the risk of dying from DV increases when you try to leave and even after you "rid your self of them." Abusers don't really like when you decide how to live your own life, they don't take you leaving lightly and like 75% of DV deaths happen while trying to leave- or after you get away.
138 - Rick
Dear Angela: That was a very nice and respectful response. You do deserve a lot better. As was a victim of DV myself. It(DV) was just the beginning of ten long years of pure hell.The legal system is way over-rated. It NEVER works to solve your problems. On the contrary, it creates chaos and mayhem in your life and the lives of your love ones.After I spent my life-savings and almost lost my sanity and realized that it had ALL been my fault. I married the wrong person. PERIOD.It's been ten years since and now I am veeeeery selective as to whom I go out with.I still have not found the right person to spend quality time with but I am at peace, and a firm commitment of never, as a result of my mistakes, to get involved with the unscrupulous, inept and incompetent system. Thank God, I survived the legal and mental health communities. Many others didn't.My advise to you is,be very, very, very selective when picking the man of your dreams.Avoid the system at all costs. It's only a very expensive, painful and life-changing experience. Again, you sound like a wonderful woman and the right man would be thrill and blessed to have you as his soul mate.
Wish you the very best.
139 - The Countess (Trish Wilson)
For the record, Malicious Mother Syndrome was made-up junk science that is not recognized as valid by the American Medical Association. It has no validity in medical or legal circles. It's just a rehash of the equally invalid Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Women don't routinely make up allegations of abuse and their partners are immediately arrested and thrown in jail. Women certainly can't get restraining orders by merely claiming abuse. A 1999 Women's Bar Association Law Journal article about domestic violence and restraining orders by Pauline Quirion, Esq., stated that "[t]he high frequency with which RO's [sic] are issued might lead some skeptics to assume that these orders are granted too easily for minor offenses and almost any man is at risk of being a defendant. The data from the new RO database in Massachusetts reflect otherwise. Men against whom RO's have been used are clearly not a random draw from the population. They are likely to have a criminal history, often reflective of violent behavior toward others. Research suggests that false reports of family violence occur infrequently. Although many believe that women especially will lodge false charges of child abuse or battering against their spouses in an effort to manipulate or retaliate, the rate of false reports in these circumstances is no greater than for other crimes."
140 - Rick
The idea of getting statistics from these so called experts, is hogwash. The majority of those institutions i.e. Bar Association, American Medical Association and the rest, are part of the "boys-club" mentality.They all work together for their OWN mutual interest and financial benefits.It has nothing to do with the real world nor justice. You truly want to know what is going on? Spend a few days hanging around Family Courts, DV section. Learn how they give out Restraining Orders with no evidence of wrong doing whatsoever. Learn how attorneys manipulate the law to their own advantage and their clients'.They have lunch and a few drinks with the oppositon(your attorney) and work out ways to do you in. Their "secret" meetings behind close doors in the Judge's Chambers. How they come to a "deal" without your consent.How men who are proven, through DNA, NOT to be the kid's biological father, is forced to keep making Child support payments, or others who ARE the biological parents, making their payments on time and NEVER allowed to see their children. These inaccurate statistics and their sources, is just a way to justify their one sided, biased, and anti- men mentality in our society, PERIOD. I hope you guys and gals out there do not buy into it.
141 - reality
Rick,
I don't buy into it for one minute. Know it for what it is. Government reports also indicate where the true statistics lay.
I am a woman, know their games too well. I have an RO for taking the child to a doctor because the mother neglects medical treatment. How life threatening is that?
And don't for one minute think that PAS does not exist. IT DOES and is used continiously toward this propaganda agaisnt men.
There are many very good Fathers who should be raising their children. Fathers who would be the better parent and not play these games. Do what is best for the child.
What my hope is, that someday, parents realize the damage they do, work on a parenting plan, which involves both parents and these games stop being played. True shared parenting would alleviate so much of the conflict. Maybe then, we will see an end to PAS.
142 - Rick
Reality: "True shared parenting" is a very noble idea. Unfortunately, in most divorces, there is so much friction and hatred, it is impossible to have a friendly and civilized divorce.Moreover, the legal and mental communities, will never allowed it to happen.Contested and nasty divorces, is their bread and butter.Imagine for a minute an amicable divorce system, where with these characters go? What would they do to survive? Another factor is that, as long as we have groups such as this site, G.A.L. programs who are desperate to take kids away from caring parents, as long as we have attorneys and psychologists, who make their money at the expense of the misery inflicted on others, the status quo, will remain. Foster Care is another institution, that has become a 12 Billion dollars per year industry and who do you think benefits from it? You are right. Those individuals above. The whole thing is a business, a very lucrative business at the expense of our precious children. Best thing to do? Stay single.
Wish you well.
143 - jot
- - - "Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories" presents a view of child abuse that is the opposite of the truth.
If the stories told in the documentary were true then no, they are not the opposite of truth. It is that simple. Did the documentary claim that mothers are not abusive? Did the documentary claim to be about parental abuse by both mother and father, because if it had then yes, it could be considered biased. That however is not the case. It really is okay to zero in on one area of a matter.
- - - In "Breaking the Silence," men are portrayed as monsters and child abusers.
If a person committs criminal acts, should they be portrayed as an exemplary and honorable person? Whats wrong with truth?
- - Natural birth-fathers are protectors of their children - contrary to the message in "Breaking the Silence."
Not all fathers (or mothers) protect their children. A father who abuses his children could hardly be viewed as a protector nor should he be portrayed as one. Protecting someone does not mean protecting a right to beat the crap out of them.
- - - men are often hindered in protecting their children because the media like to portray them as evil - - -
The media has come to be what is apparently the most powerful entity in our world today. I expect it will not be much longer now before blaming "the media" becomes a defense in criminal trials. Your honor, the media made me do it. If the media was really that powerful I think a whole lot of women would walk around swilling alcohol and taking anti-depressants all day because "the media" (and everything else) has made us look like turds on a stick for a long time.
I have a better idea - why don't people take responsibility for their own actions instead of trying to find someone or something else to blame their unacceptable behaviors on.
144 - Chris
After reading all the comments, I hate to say I agree with some more than others. I am recently seperated from my high school sweet heart. We have been together for nine years and married for five. Through out the relationship, there was never any "fights" physical or mental. We had three beautiful children together, ages 5, 3, and 1. I am a successful business man and she is a homemaker. One weekend she looked up at me and said "we are ending". I just laughed it off. I Didn't take her seriously, although now I do. I know what she meant. On weekends we would go do our seperate things. Weeknights would consist of laying together watching tv while rubbing her feet. But it was different. She was wore out from the day to day duldrums of child care. She says" I wish I could talk to someone other than my kids" I would say "but your kids love hearing you talk. After three months of seperation, I understand where she is coming from. I used to be able to tuck my kids in at night and rub their little backs until they fell asleep. Now that is something that I get to do only half the time. She says she misses getting the kids ready for the day when it is my days. It is just something that takes adjusting to. When you say you have to think of the children first, just don't say it, DO IT. I have joint custody of the kids. One week I get them for three nights a week, and the next four. Because she took care of the kids while married, I chose to work out an agreeable sum of money for child support, pay for her car and insurance, and any medical bills that may arise. Do I have to? Not in Oregon, but I choose to because I don't want the quality of life for my kids to decline, or resent either one of us in the future. When it is my nights to have them, I tell them it is o.k. to cry, to miss mommy. I miss stuff about her to. Sometimes it is more destructive on the kids than not to stay together for them. Now my kids look forward to coming home to me as well as their mother. We both have special things we do with them. When there is divorce, which will be coming, we have already decided that we don't need lawyers. At first, she tried to use the kids against me, fearing that i would retaliate and get a lawyer and steal them from her.Now she nows I just want equal time with my kids
145 - Essie
I just wish the courts would look at both sides fairly. A friend of mine is going through hell with his ex wife. She lied time and time again to paint him as physically abusive (she claimed he tried to run her over at a daycare pickup she wasn't even supposed to be at-in front of ten people! None of which wanted to get involved. Shame on them). So of course he has no legal rights to his kids, sees them for a few days every two weeks, and pays so much child support and daycare support (for daycare he can't use if needed) that she gets more than half of his paycheck.
In addition, she berates him in front of the children and brings the kids into their conversations regarding the divorce, i.e: the house, stupid possessions they're still exchanging....Why did they need to be involved in that? It's not their fault. She continuously tries to put them against their dad and in the end they're left crying and upset.
I agree that the gender war has got to stop. Be adults, be PARENTS, and think about the best situation for the kids.
146 - kenn stanley
I am upset that Fathers are continuosly attacked by the media. fathers are more often than not loving, caring parents.
147 - Pat
I would like to offer my blogsite free for men that wish to be fathers; perhaps my struggle can act as encouragement.
Thanks,
Pat
148 - a good father
PBS's Breaking the Silence: The film was a public relations debacle for PBS, particularly after it was revealed that one of the mothers portrayed as a heroic victim in the film had been found culpable of multiple acts of child abuse by a California Juvenile Court.
PBS Portrays Known Child Abuser as Hero
Juvenile Court Found Mother Culpable of Multiple Acts of Child Abuse.
Fatherhood advocates have publicly revealed extensive court findings, records and testimony that indicate that Sadia Loeliger--portrayed as a heroic mom in a recent, nationally-broadcast PBS documentary--abused children under her care. A Tulare County Juvenile Court concluded in August of 1998 that Sadia Loeliger had committed multiple acts of abuse, and adjudged both her daughters as dependents of the Juvenile Court.
Sadia Loeliger and her 16 year-old daughter Fatima were key figures in PBS's Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories. The film purports to detail an alleged crisis of fit mothers losing custody of their children to violent husbands in divorce. In the film, Sadia is portrayed as the victim of anti-mother bias in family courts.
Doris Nava Arellano, Sadia's babysitter for 18 months, testified that "every child in the house is afraid" of Sadia and that "Sara actually has scars on the back of her legs and on the left side of her head from Ms. Ali-Loeliger's attacks on her." for the full story
149 - jackie
Interesting to see the diverse comments on Father's rights and alientation abuse by mothers. I was doing research for a client and came across this interesting case (Barth v. Barth, in Ohio). Ohio Supreme Court link:
Interestingly enough, as I reviewed the documents it became clear to me that effectively the mother won custody by taking the children away from the father. She ends up with sole custody and the case is in court for 2 or 3 years while they decide whether the case should be heard in Ohio or California. Meanwhile the kids suffer because the parties clearly can't come to a simple agreement on custody and visitation.
Not sure what you think - but I know having been through a divorce that the parents should never place unnecessary geographical boundaries between either parent and the children. Doing so hurts the children. The innocent victim in the marriage.
Call it Parental Alienation if you want. I'll simply call it bad parenting. If you want to move away from your husband - move. But don't take the kids and then deny him visitation. Don't hide behind the court for 2-3 years while you tell the kids that the father is a liar, cheater, or whatever. No matter what you feel, he's their father. Respect that.
Same goes for you dad. Be there for the kids. Visit as often as you can. One day the children may just decide to live with you.
And as for the lawyers in the case? Your sick. You are just feeding on the anomosity and hate between the parties to take your rich fees. If these parties were on welfare this case would never see the light of day in the court system.
Oral arguments are Wednesday at the Supreme Court of Ohio will be interesting to see how they decide this case.
150 - MotherTeresa
Sadia Loeliger was never proven to be a child abuser based on evidence. It was all false allegations trumped up by the father who used an illegal immigrant's testimony. The woman never showed up in court. Ohters supported dad's false claims. It is interesting to note that when such claims are made against a father by a mother, of coarse the father's rights groups claim they are false but jump all over it when its a claim against a mother but just as false claims against a dad can be believed by judges, child protective angencys, custody evaluators etc so too were these claims against Sadia Loeliger. Her daughter has chosen to be with her mother now. Thats proof the father tried set mom up.
151 - MotherTeresa
The only thing that will help children of divorce is for their parents to work together and treat each other with dignity and respect. Only then can true shared parenting work. Any parent that can't put their issues with the other parent aside and work together in the best interest of their child is not a fit parent because fit parents cooperate.
152 - Bob Pierce
I believe in fathers rights and I believe in mothers rights. In simpler english, I believe in parents rights. I believe abuse happens on both sides of the family. My disgust comes from automatic awarding custody to the mothers simply because they are the mothers. I get disgusted when I turn on the news and the only ones that is spoke about is "Deadbeat Dads". Why not report on Deadbeat parents? Who would want to fund that story? Children growing up without their fathers is a staggering major reason for the failing of many areas in our country. Remember when parents stayed together because they loved each other and dated for awhile (not 3 months) planned their future and generally knew each other well enough that divorce wasn't the norm but neither was hopping in bed with the first guy or girl you knew after puberity. Men stand up and be a man. Make other men accountable for the life. Woman be the ladies of the family. Don't say what isn't true. Things get to tough (they do sometimes with our childish ways) go to mom's house not to the shelter. Parents-be friends, be lovers and most of all be parents. We are alive on this earth long enough to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Young People-do it right before your married and you won't have to worry about what happens when you divorce.
153 - Angela Pedersen, R.N.
It is a child's right to have EQUAL time with BOTH fit parents!
Domestic Violence: Men and Women are victims!
Also, states and family court systems profit from the creation of a non-custodial parent (usually the father)through Title IV-D federal incentives. The states and court systems must stop "pimping" our children for the sake of profit.
154 - kb
My ex-wife is a convicted batterer, yet she has residential custody of my daughter. The ex consistently denies parenting time to me by whisking my daughter off when I am supposed to pick my daughter up. The ex has filled my daughters head with lies about me and my family, which has been witnessed by myself, my family and neighbors, if it's not PAS I don't know what to call it. I'm tired of being portrayed as a monster.
155 - Andrew_S
There is a great and varying disparity in truth reading when gender politics is thrown into the mix, just like any cooked books. They can be interpreted in many ways and the politics here is simply motivated by money and employment for it's own sake. My understanding is beyond the simplicity of political 'he said she said', proxies for social engineering and trying to understand the product. The legal system is and has been the hidden third party in US social politics. Since they have inserted themselves by fiat into the business of people husbandry. Females are predictable, and never were intergenerational thinkers, I think a poster quoted 'the me first' mentality, and just as men are predictable in their behaviour, and I find no equality in todays statute laws that are so far removed from the constitution or intent, it is no longer a laughing matter.
And herein so it would appear by the postings of the socially dysfunctional females who will not even consider espousing any form of legal equality. The laws are draconian if not downright sexist, supported by the very system that pretends through this very elastic doctrine of 'the best interest of children'. In simple terms I have not heard anyone state this clearly. The law by sheer stats alone and it's product outcome, makes it quite clear that women are to be forever bound to children, and men shall be bound in servitude to that purpose. Now if family courts do not openly practise this then I need to have a retrial or a rectal lobotomy. I believe the legal system is socially autistic and certainly not independant of the state/federal social actuaries. I also believe women of the future have pimped themselves and children to a worse form of patriarchy yet to unfold, and we shall all pay, males for their basic and predictable chivalry and conditioning, and women for their betrayal of what is and always has been a tenuous relationship. The pointy finger game is only good for politicians. OUR children, all of them will pay the highest price any society has yet paid for the inequities of their parents and their choices. Why is it that dysfunctional harridans the likes of trish wilson who project personal glass house relativity as being a social norm, even to the cost of others. Statistically based on the DOJ figures 23,000 males annually in the US not only suffer abject trauma at the hands of this current gynocatric based cleptocracy, but they take their own lives, and this does not include children, mothers nor many others whose lives are mere fodder that ensures a system is well fed. The carnage is intergenerational and often not immediate, this has a disconnected purpose and beyongd the socially autistic. The simple destruction of the private class of individual, in the name only of social feminism. Guess what it is still ultimately a male dominated doctrine, but a gynotopia the likes of which I gringe at and the most ardent healthy communist types would be absolutely proud of. After all I am sure in the future you will be told if and when to have a child and with whom, for the benefit and by state mandate. You don't get a choice.
The mantra from many a eugenisist was 'It is important to remove from the minds of men, their sense of family, religiosity and independence', it was never said of women, has anyone ever read 'body parts'. What is to come has to be worse. You go Trish, is this you trying to get a new mercedes or a jaguar - Of course females never lie, about anything.
156 - NANCY LANKFORD
I AM GOING TO KEEP THIS SHORT AND SIMPLE!
CHILDREN ARE BORN TO A FATHER AND MOTHER WHO BOTH NEED TO PROTECT THEM. ANYONE THAT GETS IN THAT WAY OF THE PARENTS SHOULD BE ASHAMED BE IT MAY THE FAMILY COURTS OR YOUR OPINIONS.
THE CHILD IS AN EXTENSION OF BOTH PARENTS NO MATTER KEEPING ONE AWAY.
GIVE YOUR CHILD UNCONDITIONAL LOVE BY LOVING THEM AND THEIR OTHER PARENT THE SAME WAY.
BE CAREFULL OF WHO YOU CHOOSE TO MARRY AND DO NOT BRING CHILDREN INTO MISERABLE RELATIONSHIPS ~
AFTER ALL ITS BOTH OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT THE CHILD. PBS HAS LOST MY SUPPORT OF OVER 27 YEARS FROM THEIR DECISIONS......
WITH US BEING A MAJOR LEADER IN PROTECTING CHILDRENS RIGHTS THEY WILL FEEL THE IMPACT UNTILL THEY CHANGE THEIR VIEWS.
SINCERELY,
NANCY SUMMERS LANKFORD
AUTHOR, DIRECTOR OF PROJECT PREVENT, SUPERVISOR OF INVESTIGATAIONS FOR FATHERS SUPPORTING FATHERS, CHILD ADVOCATE, TEACHER AND MOST OF ALL A MOTHER OF 8 CHILDREN AND GRANDMOTHER OF 4 GRANDCHILDREN...
157 - JMO
I am currently being attacked. My wife petitioned the court for a Domestic Violence Protection order. My rights are in jeopordy. She has hit me on many occassions. I finally started to yell at her verbally when she attacked me. I couldn't take it anymore and I moved out. I knew I couldn't take the children on my own. Now, I have filed for a divorce two years after moving out. My wife is outraged, since she was getting ready to move out of state with the children. Her attorney advised her to petition for the Protection order. I have fought back verbally and if that is abuse, then so be it. But I definatley do not deserve to be taken to court with no police record and no proof of abuse. She is lying to everyone and she even has a friend who is collaborating for her in court. Luckily, I have friends and family who will do it honestly and saw many instances of her abuse. I do not deserve to have my children, my gun rights and my property taken away from me. Also, my livelyhood is in jeopordy due to my licensing. I can't believe that anyone would think this is OK. It has to stop...!!!!!!!!!!!!
158 - mike shea
Voices in this country are no longer really heard due to such rampid acts of domestic issues conceerning seperating parents and children. the entire system has become just another capiatlist ploy to gain profit instead of going to the root of the problem.
The american family has changed my friends. There is no more beaver, cleaver to hide behind. Marriage, divorce, seperation, its all just a matter of time before the machine breaks down and the vultures get to feed. If you want a real resolution to this, remember the trail of scorn left behind in what we do now. Our children won't be children forever and practices and social acceptances taught by us now will surely be followed later by the same delicate little people we set out to protect.
There is no right and wrong here. Its all wrong in reality. Reap what you soe; as is was, we as adults are always sowing, deep, relentless trends of corruption directly to our children. If you don't think for a second that it will affect on our future then we are so blind and self-absorbed.
If you truely want to become something more, reach into those young lives and show them that there is love, a bond that never fades. Grow with them for they are the future. Minipulate them into becomming even something beyond what you are now. Show them your time because once you have them, your time is no longer yours to keep anyway. This was at one time the real root of what breeds a creative and strong family and nation.
Where the hell is our morals anyway? If you are not willing to die for your child, give up your time, teach them all the good things, make them aware of the bad, Why have them. You learn to be a parent by watching your own. Its all we have to go on really. If there has been a broken link in the chain then fix the damm thing so others going up it won't ever let it be broken again.
I grew up broken and fragile-a-chain. I put the link back so my future spawn will not have to endure it as i once have. Give those young lives a clear path and this cycle of immune and reckless defiance of the truth will be gone.
159 - FRANK SOLCHAGA
HI TO ALL--FORGIVE THE UPPER CASE AS I AM GOING BLIND. THE FOLLOWING ARE FACTS AND U MAY INTERPIT ANY WAY U CHOOSE BUT THEY SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES. MN BUREAUE OF CRIMINAL APPREHENTION STATS. 1. THE MOST HAIOUSE CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN AND MEN ARE DONE BY WOMEN 65%. 2. D O J DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE STATS-FOR THE LAST 4 DECADES WOMEN HAVE OUT PACED MEN IN CRIME BY 400%. 3. WOMEN WHO HAVE APPLIED FOR WELFARE HAVE DECLARED THEMSELVES AS UNFIT MOTHERS BECAUSE THEY CAN NOT PROVIDE THE 5 BASICE NEEDS OF THE CHILD/REN-FOOD,SHELTER,CLOTHING,SCHOOLING AND MEDICLE?. 4. MN STILWATER PRISON 87% OF MALE INMATES WERE RAISED BY A SINGLE MOTHER DIVORCED/PATERNITY?. 5. 75% OF JUVENILES MN THAT ARE INCARCERATED WERE RAISED BY A SINGLE DIVORCED/PATERNITY MOTHER?. 6. DOJ STATS ACROSS THE NATION 8NDER THE NEW LAW THAT WOMEN CAN BRING AND DROP OFF A CHILD/REN AND NOT GET PROSACUTED 1,000,000 IN THE LAST DECADE. I SUPPOSE WE CAN SAY THAT ALL THESE ENTITIES ARE RUN BY MALE CHAUVINIST PIGS. HUMMMMM I PUT TOGETHER A STUDY THAT TOOK ME 5 YEARS ON BATTERED WOMEN AS I BELIEVED LIKE ALL OTHERS WOMEN WERE GETTING BATTERED-( HEATED ARGUMENTS AT THE BAR ) MY STUDY CONCLUDED FROM ALL THE MAJOR UNIVERSITYS THAT FROM A LOW OF 35% TO A HIGH OF 85% WOMEN ARE BATTERERS JUST LIKE MEN. HUMMM THE FOCUS IS LOST IT IS NOT MAN OR WOMEN IT IS THE CHILD/REN. IT IS A BILLION DOLLER INDUSTRY FOR ATTYS JUDGES AN SOCIAL SERVICES. BY THE WAY 65% IS SUBSIDIZED BY YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY MONEYS TO ALL COUNTYS. THE AVERAGE DIVORCE ACROSS THE NATION COST $35,000 THAT IS A CHILD/REN COLLIEGE EDUCATION. CHILD/REN ARE TREATED AS CHATTEL PROPERTY. IT TAKES 2 PARENTS AND A COMMUNITY TO RAISE A CHILD/REN. IF THEY CAN NOT--THROW THERE @$$ IN JAIL. THANKS FOR LISTENING
160 - gepetto
as a father i've faced so many hurdles, outright ridicule and discrimination in the courts. the system seems to make it so disgustingly complicated to do the best thing for a child, even when the dad is clearly the best choice. i recall my first court hearing in torrance court, where a clerk (erica) asked me "why are you doing this?" (refering to why i initiated the custody hearing). after i told her, i later found out that she divulged a lot of the information, and even advised the respondent based on what i'd said. i was devastated as this clearly gave her an advantage. this was the first in a series of events. i've learned so far that if your intentions are clearly positive and from your heart- things will get better, but you have to hang in there and be smart. good luck
161 - Moses
When are we men and women going to wake up and realise that there are people (evil people) who do not like us (men or women) and who do not like happy families or happy children. These (evil) people are playing us (men and women) one against the other for their own evil purpose. These same evil people do this over and over and over again. For example we now know there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq but for almost 10 years those phantom non existent weapons have driven the "war on terror" that is playing muslims against christians. It is these same evil people that are playing men against women. These people don't care about me and they don't care about you - wake up and smell the coffee...
162 - Cindy
Moses,
I think you meant to post in a different thread.
163 - sparky
I'm left wondering why women continue to have children with men. The prevailing legal and social presumption seems to be that we're all abusers. Men couldn't possibly want custody for any reason other than to harm their mother or save a buck. There's no biological reason anymore, just ask Nadia Sulaiman, there is not a shortage of sperm available. Come on ladies, go straight to the source and cut out the middleman.