Deep Throat Revealed

Washington insiders and armchair pundits alike were stunned today when Ben Bradlee, the former executive editor of The Washington Post, revealed the identity of Deep Throat, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein's secret source whose leaks helped expose the Watergate scandal in the early 1970s.

Most experts assumed that Deep Throat was a member of Richard Nixon's inner circle who was troubled by corruption and lawlessness in the Administration. No one imagined that the answer to one of the 20th Century's greatest mysteries would be diminutive, yet larger-than-life poultry entrepreneur Frank Perdue.

Perdue died Thursday at his home in Maryland after a brief illness. He was 84.

This shocking revelation about Perdue catapults the chicken magnate into much higher echelons of history than could have been imagined for a curiously chicken-faced pitchman and entrepreneur who turned a backyard egg business into a $2.8 billion empire.

Details of how Perdue might have been in a position to learn the secrets that unseated a U.S. president are sketchy, but the buzz inside the Beltway has been focusing on a possible connection between Perdue and the chickens that came home to roost following the assassination of John F. Kennedy in 1963 and have been living on White House grounds ever since.

There has been no official statement from the Bush Administration on this bizarre revelation, but one White House source who spoke on the condition of anonymity was quoted as saying, "How the hell do I know what happened? It's a clucking mystery!"

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Article Author: Pete Blackwell

Pete Blackwell is a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm. He lives in St. Louis, Gateway to the West and proud home of Provel cheese.

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  • 1 - bhw

    Apr 01, 2005 at 5:18 pm

    Great graphic!

  • 2 - DrPat

    Apr 01, 2005 at 5:44 pm

    All we had to do was wait - sooner or later, someone was bound to cluck up...

  • 3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo

    Apr 01, 2005 at 6:20 pm

    ha! the puns... the puns!!!

    of course students of The Cinema Of Kirsten Dunst will be aware that it was in fact Her and the one out Dawsons Creek that were Deep Throat, as illustrated in the motion film Dick.

  • 4 - Dave Nalle

    Apr 01, 2005 at 6:35 pm

    Those of us familiar with the career of Spiro Agnew are all too familiar with the nefarious behind the scenes influence of Frank Purdue.

    Dave

  • 5 - gonzo marx

    Apr 01, 2005 at 7:02 pm

    well, we can see it has finally come home to roost

    i wonder how much old Frank was able to feather his nest from this ancient cockfight before laying the final egg

    "yeah...we come to snuff the Rooster"
    Alice in Chains

    Excelsior!

  • 6 - geo

    Apr 01, 2005 at 10:06 pm

    Oh yeah, that's rich....

    Tammy Faye Baker went in for plastic surgery a while back... the Doctor removed her make up and do you know what they found?

    Jimmy Hoffa

  • 7 - RJ

    Apr 02, 2005 at 12:58 am

    Ah, I knew it! That Perdue was always such a cock!

    (BTW, RIP Mr. Perdue...)

  • 8 - Natalie Davis

    Apr 02, 2005 at 3:41 am

    Oh, this is hilarious. I ought to send the link to Jim Perdue.

  • 9 - JD

    Aug 18, 2005 at 6:51 pm

    Frank Perdue? Apparently he was too chicken, so Mark Felt had to do it for him ... (or not).
    (deepthroat)

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