Deep Throat Pretenders Go Public Anyway

Former FBI official W. Mark Felt has told Vanity Fair magazine that he is Deep Throat. Tuesday afternoon, Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward has confirmed that Felt was the confidential source who help him and Carl Bernstein expose the scandal.

Rampant speculation has surrounded Deep Throat's identity since the source leaked information that led to the resignation of President Richard Nixon. Several unexpected pretenders to Felt's legacy emerged in the tense hours between the Vanity Fair announcement and the Post's confirmation.

Actor Robert Blake stepped forward to claim that he is Deep Throat. According to his publicist, "The American people want to hear Robert admit to something." Since being acquitted of murdering his wife, Blake has been working on a tell all book about his unlikely role in Watergate.

ABC News was holding a Deep Throat story as its nuclear option in the tight morning show ratings wars. "Good Morning America" anchor Diane Sawyer was suspected to be Deep Throat for years. Sawyer burst onto the national scene when she worked in President Nixon's press office. Sources say a shocking tell all report about her Watergate involvement is ready to go at a moment's notice.

Earlier this year, "Primetime Live" correspondent John Quinones uncovered evidence to support a new theory that music impressario and "American Idol" svengali Clive Davis was Deep Throat. ABC News executives decided to run with the Corey Clark "Fallen Idol" instead.

Clark issued a statement today admitting that he was Deep Throat. He continued to criticize FOX for not taking his claims seriously.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are still working it - publicity that is, for Mr. and Mrs. Smith, premiering June 10. Studio publicists said Pitt could not be having an affair with Jolie because they are cousins, and that the real Deep Throat is their grandfather. A confidante of Jolie said, "being a cousins isn't a barrier for Angelina."

Neoconservatives are glad that Deep Throat is in the headlines again. The runup to the "Fallen Idol" non-scandal drew attention away from the Secret Downing Street Memo. Now the Times of London is reporting on increased bombing raids over Iraq in 2002. Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) is collecting signatures for an open letter to President Bush about the secret Downing Street memo. "Maybe Deep Throat can help people forget about the flawed intelligence and false claims that led to the war in Iraq," said a neocon insider.

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