Condensed Bush speech.

Here is the original version of Bush's speech. Here is the condensed version:

THE PRESIDENT: Protect our nation. Global war on terror, critical mission, defend our homeland. terrorists who wish to harm us; cells. Kill our citizens.

Thanks thanks thanks for fighting the terrorists.

War on terror, marines, thanks. Liberate Afghanistan and Iraq. American people and the worst dangers in the world. War, thanks thanks.

Thanks for coming dignitaries.

Thanks for coming congressmen.

Thanks Colonel Mike.

Terrorists killed Londoners. Americans sympathize.

Terrorists evil, barbaric, evil.

Terrorists like suffering. We do know that terrorists kill because they hate. They're haters. Terrorists.

Terrorists attacked on 9/11. They kill more in other places. We can't negotiate. We can only kill them.

Terrorists want to hurt us. They think we're weak, but we're not. Tony agrees with me.

We need to stop the terrorists.

Vital mission, comprehensive strategy. Protect the homeland. Uncover terrorist plots. And we're staying on the offensive. Fighting the enemy so we don't have to face them at home.

Hope of freedom across Middle East. Kill terrorists hatred fear, get peace for grandchildren.

Protect the American people, extraordinary measures, defend the homeland. Homeland Security. Homeland Security provides security. Better screening. Immigration laws. Protect critical infrastructure. And cyber-stuff.

We give money for Homeland Security. Protect the American people, terrorists attacks. Age of new dangers, hard work.

Defend our homeland, we need intelligence. New enemy. Enemy, caves, plots, shadows, strike, kill, cold blood. It's hard, but we're doing it.

Allies get info to stop terrorists with bombs. Our allies stop Libya nukes and caught terrorists.

Unbiased committee, I approved.

National Security Service integrates intel, FBI fights.

FBI helps in Oregon, Illinois, North Carolina, New York, New Jersey, Virginia, Florida and other states. FBI needs Patriot act, renew it.

FBI good. Thanks FBI.

Can't be totally secure, but have to. Protect America, stay on the offense. Chase terrorists, catch terrorists.

Allies, on the offense, on the offense. Damaged al Qaeda. Terrorists caught in Persia, Asia, Pakistan, Kenya, Tanzania, Saudi Arabia.

Terrorists dangerous, but we'll get em.

Iraq central. The terrorists fight because they hate. They say freedom boo, we say freedom yay.

Stakes high, troops good. Troops say sacrifice worth it.

Sacrifice worth it. Freedom.

Iraq free, clear plan: Iraqization.

Iraqi troops good. Glenn says so.

Iraq people seeing progress. Jamal is not afraid, even though a car bomb killed his friends. We're proud of Jamal.

Iraq taking lead. Iraqi's proud.

Liberty and guns both needed.

Election good, Sunnis participating.

Beacon of liberty, freedom spreads.

Freedom spreads.

Troops see freedom spread.

Edited: LI

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Article Author: Sam Jack

Sam Jack is a college sophomore, and is Editor-in-Chief of the Harvard Independent. Visit him at The Harvard Independent and the Harvard Dems blog.

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Article comments

  • 1 - Bennett

    Jul 12, 2005 at 8:36 am

    Yeah. Cyber-stuff. But really, what did you think of the content of the speech?

  • 2 - RJ

    Jul 12, 2005 at 9:23 pm

    Here is a condensed version of 90% of all Bush speeches, post-9/11:

    "Terror. Horror. Weapons. Murder. War. Democracy. Coalition. Freedom. Liberty. Afghanistan. Iraq. Saddam. Peace."

    You like? :)

  • 3 - Dave Nalle

    Jul 12, 2005 at 9:34 pm

    Ok, here's a condensed version of the typical Democrat stump speech.

    "Bush is Hitler. No WMDs, Murder for Oil. Bush is Satan."

    Notice what's conspicuously missing? Any kind of ideas or positive plan.

    Dave

  • 4 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Jul 12, 2005 at 9:50 pm

    And now for a generic partisan speech:

    "We're right because we said so. They're wrong because of their logical fallacies. Also they smell."

  • 5 - Leoniceno

    Jul 13, 2005 at 1:07 am

    The reason I did this was because I'm tired of Bush's stone-walling and this repetitive grinding which is now what all his speeches seem to consist of. I thought that reducing the speech to the basic ideas, plus the buzz-words might make it more apparent what he's doing.

    It's obvious that Bush's rhetoric has evolved to fit the changing data, but whenever it does change he claims that this has been his reasoning all along, and he and his allies say it so often that it becomes true.

  • 6 - Dave Nalle

    Jul 13, 2005 at 1:09 am

    How is Bush's standard speech any better or worse than any other politicians? Might as well say you're tired of political speeches. If you expect anything better your expectations are unrealistic.

    Dave

  • 7 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Jul 13, 2005 at 1:13 am

    Leoniceno, if that's your goal, I wouoldn't call this satire.

  • 8 - confused

    Jul 13, 2005 at 1:23 am

    This is a swarm, Dave. Deny it?

  • 9 - Leoniceno

    Jul 13, 2005 at 1:30 am

    Dave, I apologize for my exasperation, and you're right, the fact that my expectations are not likely to be met means that I should not express them. As for what designation to give it, I wasn't sure.

    And confused, can I ask what you mean by a 'swarm'?

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