Over the past few weeks, the rest of the world has become privy to what the people in Michigan have known for years: our economic world is poised on the brink of collapse. Like those who live from paycheck to paycheck, the country as a whole (with the world following close behind) is only one sound bite away from a failure of cataclysmic proportions.
Even a non-economist like my husband (no, he's not the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, just a smart businessman) had access to the information; in fact, analysts have known since 1997, so this turn of events should come as no surprise. He amazingly predicted many years ago that the country might end up as a socialist state, with the government's hands in just about everything. I sat by and watched as every once seemingly harebrained prognostication he made come true.
The term financial armageddon has become more than a buzz word, it's now a bona fide entry in the dictionary. Still, with all the doom and gloom flickering hourly from our cable TV, the populace seems strangely tranquil. You'd think that with The End of The World As We Know It, there would be more widespread weeping and gnashing of teeth.
I'm the type of person who likes to be prepared for any situation, especially in the face of emergency and chaos. You won't ever catch me sitting on the toilet with a total of two squares of Charmin left in the house. With this in mind, I have come up with a tentative checklist for the upcoming depression.
1. Sell everything you really don't need. Now that we don't have children in the house, I realize that we don't really need a lot of things. The motorcycle and my daughter's car were first on the Craigslist ad. I plan on a garage sale of epic proportions. Take the money (cash only, please, no checks) and put it into the safe. Take the combination to the safe and set fire to it in the deckside chiminea (which also doubles as a portable furnace) after tattooing the numbers on an area of skin where the sun doesn't shine.