Bush Scores Major Viewing Audience In Prime Time Slot, Networks "Very Pleased" With Ratings

When you need another fake news source, PoopyCaca.com is there."You guys sign the loyalty oath? ‘cause I’ll be talkin’ Social Security."Written by Joe WilsonWASHINGTON D.C. (PoopyCaca.com) – During President Bush’s ratings blockbuster of a prime time news conference today, he announced that his fight for Social Security reform will continue past the 60-day, 60-city tour, which ended Sunday because "people are gettin’ it." "I think the American people just aren’t hearin’ me ‘bout this Social Security thing. This is a crisis and a leader must act in a crisis. I will continue to explain my plan to the country - even after I leave office I’ll still be explaining it. It’ll be my ‘retirement project’ [retarded laughter]."Regarding why he held the press conference during prime time, President Bush said, "I hate the NBA, I’m more of a March Madness guy." Judging by the stellar ratings Bush garnered in his time slot, he might be the reality TV star of tomorrow. Media analyst Pedro Paddock commented, "The TV ratings were a surprise after recent polls showed President Bush has the lowest approval rating of any second term president. We always have Republicans and Democrats watching, but now there’s a surge in viewers from what we call "the bug eating segment," the people who like to watch unpleasant acts on television. These people are big viewers of both "Fear Factor" and the Bush Presidency."Bush’s comments about gas prices were summed up in two words, "We’re screwed" the President said, "but I’m a man of faith and I think we call all pray together, as a country, to lower these gas prices."

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