I guess you can tell me that I shouldn't look to two lines on the back of a moving vehicle for wisdom, but I do wish I could find something there a bit better than arrant idiocy. These are only a representative sampling of the offensively ill-conceived position papers of the witless you can find pasted on chrome around any city.
Bumper stickers like these make me worry about the decision making abilities of the drivers in the cars that bear them. They wouldn't put them there if they didn't believe them, right? If they haven't got a strong enough grasp on reality to see the fallacies of a bumper sticker, then how do I know they believe in the authority of stoplights or that turning right from the left lane is a bad idea? Actually, based on the way I've seen some of these people driving they actually may not be able to grasp the basic rules of the road. They're worse than the notorios "Old Men in Hats".
Dave
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - RJ
I have about a half dozen right-wing/libertarian bumper stickers on my car. I would hate to think that someone is deconstructing me while I'm simply trying to commute to/from work.
2 - RJ
For what it's worth:
I have 7 bumper stickers.
Two are simply an American flag.
Two are pro-wildlife/environment.
One is anti-PC.
One is anti-French.
And one is anti-queer marriage.
2+2+1+1+1=7
3 - Steve S
It's sad Dave, how you go on about your inability to see diversity. It's either your way or they're all idiots.
There are plenty of intolerant bumper stickers from both sides, as this link and RJ's vehicle can attest.
RJ:I would hate to think that someone is deconstructing me while I'm simply trying to commute to/from work.
Then putting a bumper sticker of your ideology no matter what it is, on your car, seems self-defeating.
4 - Tom Johnson
I think bumper stickers are pretty stupid in general, but the only thing I think when I see political bumper stickers of any persuasion is "what an a**hole." Not only does the driver think he's going to find some solidarity with another like-minded driver, he also thinks it's his place to take his usually misguided message to the streets, hoping to offend the opposing party with some "witty," simplistic blast.
On the flip side, bumper stickers often serve as warning signs, as I have noticed a disturbing tendency for those whose cars are adorned with religious symbols and sayings to also be the most dangerous drivers on the road. If I see a "Calvin praying" sticker, I steer clear, and watch as everyone else has to deal with the aimless meanderings of the driver.
5 - Mark Saleski
right or wrong, at least you can (sort of) see where somebody is coming from with political bumper stickers.
i've seen other ones that creep me out.
like this one:
"That's it. No More Mister Nice Guy. Down On Your Knees Bitch!"
i mean, what the hey?!
6 - Eric Olsen
Dave, I agree with your assessments, but also agree that the idiocies of the right aren't any less idiotic than those of the left. And the ones I hate most of all are anti-abortion because they tend to be so smugly moralizing: "It isn't a choice, it's a baby" - actually, it's a fetus
7 - Eric Berlin
Agree with Eric O.
But more importantly, I must share the best bumper sticker I have ever seen. You be the judge on where it falls in the political spectrum. Written in the same colors/font as Clinton/Gore '96:
Picard / Riker '96: Make It So
Genius. Pure Genius.
~ Eric B.
8 - Mark Saleski
star trek dweebs fall on both sides of the political spectrum (i think).
9 - Eric Olsen
that's funny, had I seen that sticker I wouldn't have even known what it was about.
I despise personlized license plates as well: why do they think anyone gives a flying fuck that the Jag is "Dad'sDelight"? Shut the hell up and drive like a normal person, dipshit.
10 - Mark Saleski
uh oh...i've got a a personalized license plate.
signed,
dipshit.
11 - Dave Nalle
Steve: It's sad Dave, how you go on about your inability to see diversity. It's either your way or they're all idiots.
Not exactly, Steve. There are plenty of non-idiotic bumper stickers, but in an article about idiotic ones I'm - oddly enough - only going to choose idiotic ones.
Steve: There are plenty of intolerant bumper stickers from both sides, as this link and RJ's vehicle can attest.
I found the sticker you linked to amusing and offensive, but not idiotic. You don't seem to get the whole concept here. The stickers I brought up were based on demonstrably false premises. They are essentially delusional. The one you link to is rude, but it's clearly just an expression of opinion.
Tom: On the flip side, bumper stickers often serve as warning signs, as I have noticed a disturbing tendency for those whose cars are adorned with religious symbols and sayings to also be the most dangerous drivers on the road. If I see a "Calvin praying" sticker, I steer clear, and watch as everyone else has to deal with the aimless meanderings of the driver.
The whole Calivin praying, Calvin pissing on a ford or chevy logo series of stickers is a very bad sign. I think it generally means that the person is on the verge of a complete psychotic breakdown. I find these stickers almost exclusively on extremely large pickup trucks driven at excessive speed with gratuitous frequent lane changes.
I have a whole prior article on what to expect from drivers with certain classes of bumper stickers, but it was dated by the election having passed, so I wrote this one instead.
Dave
12 - Eric Olsen
okay Mark, what's your plate say?
13 - Mark Saleski
ok...here's the car.
license plate: "VAST"
14 - Dave Nalle
BTW, so people will know, here's what I have on my bumper:
Badnarik '04
UN with a slash through it
Single Action Shooting Society Sticker
NRA Sticker
Dave
15 - Eric Olsen
well see, that's funny and a play on the car itself rather than some retarded self-referential nonsense. By the way, I've seen a lot more of those little freakmobiles around lately - what's up with that?
16 - Mark Saleski
what's really amazing is that almost nobody "gets" my plate. cripes, it really isn't that hard.
they're really fun cars to drive. they stick to the road like a slot car.
yea, i don't like the plates that say "My72Vette".
duh, no shit it's a Vette.
17 - JR
they're really fun cars to drive. they stick to the road like a slot car.
Where's the fun in that? ;-)
18 - Shark
Mine says, "When the rapture comes, can I have your car?"
Also rans:
"Keep honking while I reload."
"Welcome to Texas. Now go home."
"A bumper sticker is not a philosophy" -- Charles Shultz
19 - Eric Olsen
and here I thought it was something practical like gas mileage
20 - Mark Saleski
well, i did go from a full-size chevy K1500 pickup to the mini.
that's 18mpg up to 35.
21 - Steve S
The stickers I brought up were based on demonstrably false premises. They are essentially delusional. The one you link to is rude, but it's clearly just an expression of opinion.
You still don't get it Dave. They are a matter of perspective. Because they are not of your perspective, you dismiss them as delusional, you cannot even seem to acknowledge that there should be an alternative perspective.
What's delusional about not being rich enough for a tax break? Where do you come up with your numbers? I make well over the 35k in your example, I owed the govt. nothing and when my 'tax break' came in the mail it was just over 200 bucks.
And how do you know that when someone has 'hate is not a family (or moral) value' on their car, that they are just labeling those with differing ideologies? Those bumper stickers are addressing intolerance. They aren't geared towards the average voter who just believes this or that, they are geared towards those who actively work for an intolerant atmosphere, like those who condemn SpongeBob.
There is nothing delusional about speaking out against intolerance.
22 - bhw
A college friend of mine drove a Volvo station wagon with a license plate that said, "Beemer." Her father refused to give up the plate even though he had to give up the Beemer itself.
Seems a little silly to be *that* into your license plate.
23 - Eric Olsen
now see, THAT one I may have mistaken as STar Trek-related
24 - Victor Plenty
"Cthulhu for President - why settle for a lesser evil?" is among my favorite bumper stickers; but then, I've always been rather odd.
25 - Dave Nalle
Steve: You still don't get it Dave. They are a matter of perspective. Because they are not of your perspective, you dismiss them as delusional, you cannot even seem to acknowledge that there should be an alternative perspective.
No Steve, except as noted below, the bumper stickers are based on demonstrably false assumptions. They're not wrong because of perspective, they're wrong factually.
Steve: What's delusional about not being rich enough for a tax break? Where do you come up with your numbers? I make well over the 35k in your example, I owed the govt. nothing and when my 'tax break' came in the mail it was just over 200 bucks.
Your base tax rate also went down 2%, as did EVERYONES. The point being that there is NO ONE who is not rich enough for a tax break.
Steve: And how do you know that when someone has 'hate is not a family (or moral) value' on their car, that they are just labeling those with differing ideologies? Those bumper stickers are addressing intolerance. They aren't geared towards the average voter who just believes this or that, they are geared towards those who actively work for an intolerant atmosphere, like those who condemn SpongeBob.
There is nothing delusional about speaking out against intolerance.
Please don't be disingenuous. That bumper sticker is saying that the people who claim to have 'Family Values' are actually full of hate. That's the exact, specific intent of that bumper sticker. I'll acknowledge that this is not something I can disprove factually like the rest, but the intent of the sticker is still worth criticizing, since it actually shows that those who are condemning hate are actually practicing unreasoning hatred at the same time.
Dave