I may be cynical, but it seems to me that if your political philosophy can be summed up in a bumper sticker it might just be a little superficial. Here are some of my favorite examples:
GOP health care cuts are the Axes of Evil
- This refers, of course, to the Republican administration which has done more to gratuitously increase Medicaire funding than any other in history. This is something they should be slammed for, not criticized for doing too little of.
Hate is Not a Moral Value
- You know, no one ever says they hate some group or some action. Yet there are an awful lot of people who are eager to accuse others of being haters just because they don't believe in the same set of ideologies or the same platform of government programs. I wonder if the people with these bumper stickers have considered that pinning the 'hater' label on a broad group of people who as individuals have almost all never done anything hateful to anyone, is an act of hate in and of itself. So while hate may not be a moral value, it is apparently a value of some people with bumper stickers on their cars.
Let Oil Companies Send Their Own Troops
- I actually rather like this one, but the implications are horrendous. The reason we send our troops is because if nations didn't have armies then corporations very well might have them. And do you really want your safety being defended by the Exxon Army? Can you imagine how the Shell Stormtroopers would treat Iraqi civilians? Of course, this might be a great deal for our trained veterans. I bet the corporate legions would have much better pay and benefits than our current military.
No One Died When Clinton Lied
- Well actually, quite a few people died during Clinton's two terms, including a lot of soldiers who died mainly because of his unwillingness to handle foreign conflicts in a serious and responsible way, perhaps because of his oval office distractions. The deaths include 53 soldiers in Somalia among others. And as for Bush lying and causing people to die, Clinton actually committed perjury in court, a clear and documented lie. Bush has merely been accused of lying because his predictions of WMDs in Iraq did not bear fruit. To date there is no evidence that any deliberate lie was ever told.
Real Patriots Don't Take Away Freedom. Reject Radical Republicanism in 2004
- This one is clearly aimed at the Patriot Act. After all, it was all the doing of Republicans, right? In actuality 69% of House Democrats and 96% of Senate Democrats including John Kerry, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Dick Gephardt voted for the Patriot Act. Those numbers aren't just in favor of it, they're high enough to override a presidential veto or pass it on as a Constitutional Amendment. The Democrats apparently just loved the Patriot Act at the time they voted for it. So why doesn't the sticker say "Deny Disastrous Democrats" instead of or in addition to "Reject Radical Republicans"? The Patriot Act is evil, right? So anyone who voted for it is a bad guy. So I guess the Democrats are going to dump their whole party leadership except for Dennis Kucinich, right? Can you say 'hypocrisy'?
Not Rich Enough for a Tax Break
- This is the sticker I saw today which actually sent me off on this diatribe. Exactly what kind of person isn't rich enough for a tax break? It would seem to me that the poorer you are the less you can afford to have the government leeching money out of your paycheck. In fact, the poorest people in America - well into the lower middle class - receive the largest tax break of all, they don't pay any taxes in the first place. If this refers to Bush's specific tax breaks it makes even less sense. They took two forms, the tax rebate and the tax rate reduction. The rebate was a flat amount paid directly to taxpayers. Because it they were done as amounts, the two tax rebates benefited poorer taxpayers enormously more than rich ones, because they were a much higher percentage rebate. $600 means very little if you make $200,000 a year, but if you make $35,000 a year it's most of a mortgage payment and that's real help. And of course, the rate reduction helped everyone exactly equally. It was the same percentage reduction in the tax rate for every income level, so if Mr. Millionaire saved 2%, well so did Joe Average. The only people it had no impact on were those who were paying no taxes to start with. Though it will eventually benefit even them when their income increases to actually pay taxes.
I guess you can tell me that I shouldn't look to two lines on the back of a moving vehicle for wisdom, but I do wish I could find something there a bit better than arrant idiocy. These are only a representative sampling of the offensively ill-conceived position papers of the witless you can find pasted on chrome around any city.
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Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - RJ
I have about a half dozen right-wing/libertarian bumper stickers on my car. I would hate to think that someone is deconstructing me while I'm simply trying to commute to/from work.
2 - RJ
For what it's worth:
I have 7 bumper stickers.
Two are simply an American flag.
Two are pro-wildlife/environment.
One is anti-PC.
One is anti-French.
And one is anti-queer marriage.
2+2+1+1+1=7
3 - Steve S
It's sad Dave, how you go on about your inability to see diversity. It's either your way or they're all idiots.
There are plenty of intolerant bumper stickers from both sides, as this link and RJ's vehicle can attest.
RJ:I would hate to think that someone is deconstructing me while I'm simply trying to commute to/from work.
Then putting a bumper sticker of your ideology no matter what it is, on your car, seems self-defeating.
4 - Tom Johnson
I think bumper stickers are pretty stupid in general, but the only thing I think when I see political bumper stickers of any persuasion is "what an a**hole." Not only does the driver think he's going to find some solidarity with another like-minded driver, he also thinks it's his place to take his usually misguided message to the streets, hoping to offend the opposing party with some "witty," simplistic blast.
On the flip side, bumper stickers often serve as warning signs, as I have noticed a disturbing tendency for those whose cars are adorned with religious symbols and sayings to also be the most dangerous drivers on the road. If I see a "Calvin praying" sticker, I steer clear, and watch as everyone else has to deal with the aimless meanderings of the driver.
5 - Mark Saleski
right or wrong, at least you can (sort of) see where somebody is coming from with political bumper stickers.
i've seen other ones that creep me out.
like this one:
"That's it. No More Mister Nice Guy. Down On Your Knees Bitch!"
i mean, what the hey?!
6 - Eric Olsen
Dave, I agree with your assessments, but also agree that the idiocies of the right aren't any less idiotic than those of the left. And the ones I hate most of all are anti-abortion because they tend to be so smugly moralizing: "It isn't a choice, it's a baby" - actually, it's a fetus
7 - Eric Berlin
Agree with Eric O.
But more importantly, I must share the best bumper sticker I have ever seen. You be the judge on where it falls in the political spectrum. Written in the same colors/font as Clinton/Gore '96:
Picard / Riker '96: Make It So
Genius. Pure Genius.
~ Eric B.
8 - Mark Saleski
star trek dweebs fall on both sides of the political spectrum (i think).
9 - Eric Olsen
that's funny, had I seen that sticker I wouldn't have even known what it was about.
I despise personlized license plates as well: why do they think anyone gives a flying fuck that the Jag is "Dad'sDelight"? Shut the hell up and drive like a normal person, dipshit.
10 - Mark Saleski
uh oh...i've got a a personalized license plate.
signed,
dipshit.
11 - Dave Nalle
Steve: It's sad Dave, how you go on about your inability to see diversity. It's either your way or they're all idiots.
Not exactly, Steve. There are plenty of non-idiotic bumper stickers, but in an article about idiotic ones I'm - oddly enough - only going to choose idiotic ones.
Steve: There are plenty of intolerant bumper stickers from both sides, as this link and RJ's vehicle can attest.
I found the sticker you linked to amusing and offensive, but not idiotic. You don't seem to get the whole concept here. The stickers I brought up were based on demonstrably false premises. They are essentially delusional. The one you link to is rude, but it's clearly just an expression of opinion.
Tom: On the flip side, bumper stickers often serve as warning signs, as I have noticed a disturbing tendency for those whose cars are adorned with religious symbols and sayings to also be the most dangerous drivers on the road. If I see a "Calvin praying" sticker, I steer clear, and watch as everyone else has to deal with the aimless meanderings of the driver.
The whole Calivin praying, Calvin pissing on a ford or chevy logo series of stickers is a very bad sign. I think it generally means that the person is on the verge of a complete psychotic breakdown. I find these stickers almost exclusively on extremely large pickup trucks driven at excessive speed with gratuitous frequent lane changes.
I have a whole prior article on what to expect from drivers with certain classes of bumper stickers, but it was dated by the election having passed, so I wrote this one instead.
Dave
12 - Eric Olsen
okay Mark, what's your plate say?
13 - Mark Saleski
ok...here's the car.
license plate: "VAST"
14 - Dave Nalle
BTW, so people will know, here's what I have on my bumper:
Badnarik '04
UN with a slash through it
Single Action Shooting Society Sticker
NRA Sticker
Dave
15 - Eric Olsen
well see, that's funny and a play on the car itself rather than some retarded self-referential nonsense. By the way, I've seen a lot more of those little freakmobiles around lately - what's up with that?
16 - Mark Saleski
what's really amazing is that almost nobody "gets" my plate. cripes, it really isn't that hard.
they're really fun cars to drive. they stick to the road like a slot car.
yea, i don't like the plates that say "My72Vette".
duh, no shit it's a Vette.
17 - JR
they're really fun cars to drive. they stick to the road like a slot car.
Where's the fun in that? ;-)
18 - Shark
Mine says, "When the rapture comes, can I have your car?"
Also rans:
"Keep honking while I reload."
"Welcome to Texas. Now go home."
"A bumper sticker is not a philosophy" -- Charles Shultz
19 - Eric Olsen
and here I thought it was something practical like gas mileage
20 - Mark Saleski
well, i did go from a full-size chevy K1500 pickup to the mini.
that's 18mpg up to 35.
21 - Steve S
The stickers I brought up were based on demonstrably false premises. They are essentially delusional. The one you link to is rude, but it's clearly just an expression of opinion.
You still don't get it Dave. They are a matter of perspective. Because they are not of your perspective, you dismiss them as delusional, you cannot even seem to acknowledge that there should be an alternative perspective.
What's delusional about not being rich enough for a tax break? Where do you come up with your numbers? I make well over the 35k in your example, I owed the govt. nothing and when my 'tax break' came in the mail it was just over 200 bucks.
And how do you know that when someone has 'hate is not a family (or moral) value' on their car, that they are just labeling those with differing ideologies? Those bumper stickers are addressing intolerance. They aren't geared towards the average voter who just believes this or that, they are geared towards those who actively work for an intolerant atmosphere, like those who condemn SpongeBob.
There is nothing delusional about speaking out against intolerance.
22 - bhw
A college friend of mine drove a Volvo station wagon with a license plate that said, "Beemer." Her father refused to give up the plate even though he had to give up the Beemer itself.
Seems a little silly to be *that* into your license plate.
23 - Eric Olsen
now see, THAT one I may have mistaken as STar Trek-related
24 - Victor Plenty
"Cthulhu for President - why settle for a lesser evil?" is among my favorite bumper stickers; but then, I've always been rather odd.
25 - Dave Nalle
Steve: You still don't get it Dave. They are a matter of perspective. Because they are not of your perspective, you dismiss them as delusional, you cannot even seem to acknowledge that there should be an alternative perspective.
No Steve, except as noted below, the bumper stickers are based on demonstrably false assumptions. They're not wrong because of perspective, they're wrong factually.
Steve: What's delusional about not being rich enough for a tax break? Where do you come up with your numbers? I make well over the 35k in your example, I owed the govt. nothing and when my 'tax break' came in the mail it was just over 200 bucks.
Your base tax rate also went down 2%, as did EVERYONES. The point being that there is NO ONE who is not rich enough for a tax break.
Steve: And how do you know that when someone has 'hate is not a family (or moral) value' on their car, that they are just labeling those with differing ideologies? Those bumper stickers are addressing intolerance. They aren't geared towards the average voter who just believes this or that, they are geared towards those who actively work for an intolerant atmosphere, like those who condemn SpongeBob.
There is nothing delusional about speaking out against intolerance.
Please don't be disingenuous. That bumper sticker is saying that the people who claim to have 'Family Values' are actually full of hate. That's the exact, specific intent of that bumper sticker. I'll acknowledge that this is not something I can disprove factually like the rest, but the intent of the sticker is still worth criticizing, since it actually shows that those who are condemning hate are actually practicing unreasoning hatred at the same time.
Dave