Illegal immigrants are stealing our low-level jobs, yet we somehow have to keep raising the number of H1 visas to bring in high-tech workers and teachers. Illegal immigrants are taking advantage of our health care and education system which both obviously work perfectly but for the demand they place on those institutions. Foreign terrorists threaten us our every waking moment, yet we shoot each other, poison ourselves with alcohol and cigarettes, or simply run over one another in our SUV’s at a far greater rate than any jihadist plots have managed. Should we do anything to say just regulate those problems? Absolutely not-it limits our precious freedom.
By the way, why is it okay to track all our phone calls but not okay to make someone register a gun? One threatens the creation of a police state, but the other is just about keeping us safe?
In the meantime, I look forward to the technology that our genius President referenced to help us police our borders. Perhaps he can pass a law for NSA to implant a chip inside every American and then turn the border into a fifteen hundred mile long bar code scanner. When someone comes through the gate without the chip, a buzzer goes off. Perhaps the President's dad could come out of retirement to help with this project since he seemed so impressed when he saw such a device at the supermarket so many years ago.
Prior to the Fugitive Slave Act, they had a similar idea called the “slave bracelet”. The Germans also used tattoos to help distinguish real Germans from impostors. Perhaps this is the tamper-proof worker ID that he proposed in his speech. So, these kinds of ideas do have a track record.
In any case, I’d like to be the first to volunteer to help the administration with any or all of these plans. I’m sure they know how to reach me by phone these days.
Article comments
1 - mschannon
Wow. Can't believe you haven't gotten nailed over this article. I think it's great satire & well argued. Nice job.
2 - chancelucky
Ms.channon,
thanks for the second comment. As for the "nailed" part, I hope that doesn't happen, disagreement "yes", but nails scare me.
3 - -E
Congrats, this article was picked for one of this week's Ed Picks. Keep up the good work.
4 - chancelucky
Thanks Ed Picks. Are you related to Fred Picks by any chance? Or the AI winner Taylor Picks?
5 - Nancy
Very well done. Sometimes insanity works. Well - whatever works, works for me, I guess.
6 - chancelucky
Nancy, thanks for the kind comment. I hope insanity works, it's my only chance :}
7 - Joey
Yes, you can be an immigrant and serve in the U.S. military, many do. Many Mexican's do, it's inherited from the USMC victory on 5 May. It's also a good pay check, military benefits, but.... you cannot re-enlist unless you get your citizenship stuff completed. There are many educational resources in the military which will readily assist you in completing the check list for citizenship, even cut you orders to go and do it. It's good for the service, everyone has value in the military. Especially good performers. And there are many good performers.
8 - chancelucky
Joey,
thanks for the info about legal immigrants in the armed forces. One of the more interesting stories was what happened to soldiers from the Phillipines during World War 2 who weren't citizens or nationals of another country.
This was really more about the way the president didn't make the distinction between legal immigrants serving in the US armed forces and "illegal" immigrants or undocumented Americans if you prefer.