DONG! Billy Joe Knight threw down his stetson in frustration. Every doggone time he tried to warn the townsfolk of exactly who and what was comin' their way, that darn church bell would ring.
All the townsfolk had gathered at the gazebo in the center of poverty-stricken Goldwater Junction to await the new sheriff's arrival. The red-and-white gazebo had been there as long as anyone remembered, and that was where everything important happened whether it was speeches, weddings, or hangings. The head of the town council, John-boy McCain, yelled back up to the steeple where Bobby Joe was keeping watch, "What did you say?"
Bobby Joe knew what was going to happen, but was bound and determined to try anyway. He pointed in the direction of the road from Grant Park and shouted once more, "The new sheriff is a ni-" DONG! Went the church bell again. "DagNABit I'm tired of this bullpuckey!"
John-boy turned to the next senior council member, the white-haired and pockmarked Little John Boehner, and sadly shook his head. "Y'know, the Knight klan has done pretty well for itself, but the boy they sent up there, I just don't know about him. Don't seem good for much, know what I mean?"
"I thought they all turned out good, boss" Little John looked at the long-haired, buck-toothed town misfit up in the steeple who was waving his arms like an idiot and pointing down the trail into town trying to shout one more time, "but maybe I just didn't know them all that well."
Again the young man shouted from the steeple, "The sheriff is a ni-" DONG! And the young man just hung his head, his shoulders heaving from sobs that no one could hear.
Little John looked at McCain, "John, which one of the Knights klan is that, anyhow?"
"That's Bobby," Old Man McCain said, his voice full of pity. "He's just the Knight who says 'ni'!"
About that time the townsfolk could hear the clip-clop of two horses and all became quiet. As they turned the corner the small crowd let out a collective gasp — one was an obese flaming senior homosexual with long, curly gray hair and wearing a lacy corset, and a athletic-looking, walnut-skinned African, and it was he who proudly wore on his chest the shiny star that denoted his status as the new sheriff! The citizens of Goldwater Junction began murmuring, and their voices became loud and angry.
Article comments
1 - Glenn Contrarian
Man, but the silence is deafening!
I guess this is what it feels like when the author stares at the copies of the book that he wrote, and sees that not one of them has sold....
2 - Dr Dreadful
I literally don't know what to say.
3 - Dan(Miller)
Doc,
Perhaps -- but you say it elegantly and with great clarity.
Dan(Miller)
4 - Glenn Contrarian
Hey - it's PARODY, people...pointing out a few odd similarities between our political world of today and 'Blazing Saddles' of over a generation ago. I put 'satire' on the 'category' line, but the new site structure didn't allow for that to be made obvious.
YES, the next installment is ready...but I'll wait a week (though some might say to wait forever....)
5 - Glenn Contrarian
BUT if you're not fans of Mel Brooks, Monty Python, Rocky Horror and the like, you probably wouldn't understand. I guess I've committed the sin of marketing to too small of a niche to make much of an impression....
6 - Dan(Miller)
Glen,
If you want more comments, just start a pirate joke or horse shoe joke thread. That seems to work.
Dan(Miller)