Without us covering their asses, the Israelis may become good Jews again and face up to the fact that within a decade, the Arabs — led by Hezbollah and backed by a nuclear-empowered Iran — will wipe them off the face of the earth in a second Holocaust, and this time they’ll have themselves to blame. But if they make peace, one of the main reasons for terrorists to exist will be gone, and we won’t be inspired to invade other countries like Iraq on the Israelis’ behalf. Peace all around, at last. Brought about by a little useful anti-Semitism from Mel Gibson.
Number two, Mel Gibson is extremely competent: he does his job as a movie director better than anyone in Hollywood. “Braveheart” and “The Passion of The Christ” have made truckloads of money. When I think about our current elite – our political leaders, our administration, our crooked CEOs who get stellar pay even when their companies fail — I notice a total lack of competence and an utter lack of the ability to take responsibility for anything besides the survival of their own padded hides.
Number three, Mel Gibson does what he believes in. Who in America does anything they believe in anymore? Mel Gibson made a movie he believed in — about the death of his hero, Jesus Christ. What he came up with was truly surprising: a movie that looks like it was made by an Eastern European art-house maverick, complete with subtitles. Damn, “The Passion of The Christ” actually looks and plays like a real work of art, a fierce evocation of Jesus’ last day on earth, with rent flesh and rivers of blood and awful suffering. But American movie critics, another lot who are incompetent at their jobs, were too stupid to see that.
Surprisingly, Mel’s movie has made him a ton of money, which just goes to show that you can actually be incredibly successful if you do what you believe in, something that has escaped both the Republicans and the Democrats.
So I vote for Mel Gibson. At the moment, he — and maybe Kinky Friedman — are the only guys in America worth voting for. The rest are pond scum who in a better, more noble time, would be banished from the Republic to go live in the butts of donkeys and elephants, where the most harm they can do is stink up their own air with some really smelly farts. Damn them to Fart Hell, I say — the useless cowards.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Mark Schannon
Incredible article. I'm not sure how happy I am with your characterization of Israel, but, what the hell, nothing else has worked. The problem is that the Arabs don't want peace...but the brilliance of supporting the anti-Semetic Mel Gibson against all the available pols is so wonderfully bizarre that I won't even make an issue of it.
I think except for the extremists, you probably captured the mood of most Americans more than you know. Think Readers Digest would reprint this, LOL.
In Decaf Veritas
2 - Baronius
There is probably no more noble person in politics today than Dick Cheney. Vice president is a thankless job, and I'm sure he wasn't expecting to be treated well. But the level of abuse heaped on the man is unbelievable.
At first it was jokes about his heart condition. Because, you know, that's funny. He might die. Then after Ashcroft stepped down, the left needed a new demon, and they chose Cheney. It's not an exaggeration to say that Cheney was demonized; he's literally been called the devil. He's been blamed for the war; he's been accused of torture and profiteering.
In 2004, Kerry and Edwards tried to tarnish his image by broadcasting his daughter's sexual preference.
Dick Cheney has endured the Vice presidency for eight years with no intention of higher office. That's like training as poop boy and turning down the chance to be jockey. He has served nobly, only once tearing into Senator Leahy (and it's difficult to blame him). He was a strong hand on 9/11. He's been loyal to his president even in disagreement.
I don't know if I'll live to see Cheney get the recognition he deserves, but he should be remembered as a man of the caliber of Clay or Marshall.
3 - JR
Baronius: There is probably no more noble person in politics today than Dick Cheney... I don't know if I'll live to see Cheney get the recognition he deserves, but he should be remembered as a man of the caliber of Clay or Marshall.
Wow.
Just... Wow.
4 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Adam,
From your safe haven in America, you can lecture all you want on how we Israelis should be good steers and make peace with Arab butchers, the PLO and Hamas, and now HizbAllah. Let's hear what song you sing when you hear Arabs snickering how they are going to rape you before they kill you as you walk along the road from Ma'aleh Levona to 'Eli.
Our weakness is not that we're willing to make peace. That was what Oslo (Aslá in Hebrew - toilet) was all about. But do you want to know that? Of course not! Those genocidal Israelis want to harm the poor innocent Arabs! You buy thir lies like you buy a Mars Bar, sweet bullshit that tastes good but is worthless.
I want to see the day when our government deals with Arab terror and the way it should be dealt with. Killing off all the Arab prisoners in Israeli jails - so the bastards don't ever get the idea that we will feed them if they go to jail here; by castrating the mukhtar of the village that commits a terror act against us - that will be needed only once; no Arab will want to lose his balls; by exiling the family of the terrorist to a different village - where the different clan will feel free to rape the women and terrorize the men. That will end Arab terror here.
Finally, I want to see an Israeli government that will give your government and all the governments of the EU the middle finger they deserve and tell them to get the fuck out of our business before we use our nukes on their oil supply. That will be the day we tell the Americans to take their money, their soldiers, their fleet, and their interfering CFR, and get the hell out of here before we kill them and destroy their embassy, ambassador and embassy workers included.
The day I see such a government take power here will be the day I tear up my American passport and happily renounce my US citizenship. For such a government, I'd gladly learn how to use any weapon they gave me to use, and gladly fight any battle they send me into.
Sorry Adam, what you write about Israel disgusts me and balances out any intelligent ideas you may have expressed in the article elsewhere.
5 - zingzing
i think most sensible people in the world hope that all the militant arabs and all the arab-hating jews kill each other off.
it's only when there is no one left who is willing to kill someone for a chunk of dirt that this thing will be over.
6 - Donnie Marler
You have an extremely deranged view of Israeli-Arab problems Adam.
The arabs tried that 'second holocaust' bullshit a long time ago and got their heads handed to them.
Sorry, pal. I'm kind of tired of arab apologists.
7 - zingzing
the israeli-arab problems themselves are extremely deranged, so an extremely deranged view is completely compatable.
these religious things... so crazy, so crazy.
8 - Donnie Marler
LOL, if you say so, Zing. I still think it was just a bit harsh and extremely arab biased.
Good line though!
9 - zingzing
well, you have to admit that if we cut israel loose to take care of their own problems with the arabs, the arabs would probably have less of a problem with us.
i mean, shit, it's totally our (u.s. and wwII allies) fault that all this shit is going on, but fuck, they've had 60 years to find some way of co-existing, and i'm just tired of their complaints.
arab: "the jews stole our lands!"
jew: "it was ours to begin with!"
arab: "but i had a house, and a nice picket fence and a little tree..."
jew: "too bad, mine now! god says so!"
arab: "fuck you! i kill you!
jew: "god is on my side!"
arab: "allah is on mine!"
jew: "we shall compare our gods through nasty cycles of violence!"
arab: "agreed!"
jew: "hmm, i see your god compares to mine..."
arab: "i know! uncanny, isn't it?!"
jew: "yes... wait! fuck you! mine!"
arab: "mine!"
jew: "we agree again... we are so similar... and yet, fuck you!"
arab: "fuck me? fuck you!"
jew: "... we're just going around in circles here."
arab: "how do we get out of this circle?"
jew: "escalation!"
arab: "yes, escalation!"
jew: "i kill you twice!"
arab: "bring it on!"
10 - Christopher Rose
zingzing: you almost made me laugh and cry simultaneously then! Good work.
11 - Clavos
zing,
it's only when there is no one left who is willing to kill someone for a chunk of dirt that this thing will be over.
Isn't that pretty much what all wars have been about?
It'll be a pretty frigid day you-know-where if (not when) that happens...
12 - MCH
Re Baronius, #2;
You left out chickenhawk Cheney's draft-dodging during the Vietnam War...five deferments due to "other priorities." But he sure doesn't seem to have any problem these days sending those braver than he overseas to pay the ultimate sacrifice.
13 - Clavos
Oh, hell. Some damn fool let emmy out of the rubber room again...
14 - Donnie Marler
jew: "we shall compare our gods through nasty cycles of violence!"
Damn, ok, I admit it, I laughed.
15 - Franco
Ruvy in Jerusalem
Ruvy,
I am sure you know some Arabs living in Israel. Is there any "common ground" found between you on anything, and if so, what is it?
16 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Franco, the common ground is that we want to make money, live in peace and stop paying bribes to thieves; and one other thing that you guys always like to dismiss: WE BOTH BELIEVE IN G-D, AND IN A REDEMPTION, AND THAT A DESCENDENT OF KING DAVID WILL RULE HERE!
17 - Dave Nalle
Where's good old Jeshua bin David when you need him?
Dave
18 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Where's good old Jeshua bin David when you need him?
Poor guy is dead and gone. Been that way for a couple of thousand years now. Don't get me wrong - we Jews are all family. But its just bad form to worship your relatives. G-d frowns on that kind of stuff.
Just have a little patience. Descendants of Khalif Daoud el Nebi are around, and when the right time comes, he'll make himself known.
We've only waited for 2,500 years... We're patient.
19 - Adam Ash
Ruvy:
How does public opinion in Israel break down these days?
How many still back Olmert?
How many think the Lebanon War was a good thing?
How many still want to start peace talks with Palestine?
Are there any Israelis who think Hamas is worth talking to?
How has the Lebanon War changed opinion in Israel?
What is the outlook for peace?
Not that I wanted this thread to develop into an Israeli discussion. I was hoping for people to at last vent about those two US fuckups we call the Democratic and Republican Parties.
Adam
20 - Mike
I want to see the day when our government deals with Arab terror and the way it should be dealt with. Killing off all the Arab prisoners in Israeli jails
Ruvy you claim to be a devout Jew, and yet you neglect a commandment that came straight from God's mouth. What you propose, the murder of all Arabs in Israeli prisons, is really not that different then the genocide you suffered in the Holocaust.
As far as i am concerned, anyone who propogates violence in the name of religion is a terrorist.
You are so convinced that your religion is the one true religion, and you base that on what? A manuscript written and edited by people of your own faith? Anyone can call themselves a "chosen race," and attribute it to God. I believe the Germans did that with the Ayrian race.
Now, this isn't a religious debate, but I am gonna let you into a little insight. God's salvation and grace is open to all of his creation, which, is everybody. Not one group over another.
21 - Nancy
Baronius, I'd be happy to give Cheney the recognition he so richly deserves: first by torturing him according to his own rules, and then at the end of a rope. And he can take Junior with him.
Adam, you're SO dead on about the characterization of both parties, except you left out the utter lack of ethics, morality, or anything except the total mindless, unending greed & arrogance of all of them, starting at the top. I do wish someone or something would wipe out every single one of them, every one.
22 - Baronius
MCH, I left out a couple of things, like how hard he hit the bottle as a kid. I find that much more disturbing than the legal deferments he received. I also didn't mention his years of government service, his humble beginnings, his management of the Gulf War, or his 42-year marriage.
Nancy, I really expected to win you over.
23 - Scott
"I left out a couple of things, like how hard he hit the bottle as a kid"
In my understanding, he still does hit the bottle. At least before hunting expeditions.
24 - JR
Baronius: Dick Cheney has endured the Vice presidency for eight years with no intention of higher office. That's like training as poop boy and turning down the chance to be jockey.
I could "endure" a personal fortune of $94 million, more influence on U.S. policy than the president himself, and not being the guy who takes the bullet when it all goes bad. Though I must admit, I'm at a loss as to how to run up $186,000 in electricity bills in my own home, even if someone else is paying for it. That kind of self-sacrifice is beyond my abilities.
25 - Baronius
Nancy, I've been thinking about your comment about torture. It's a perfect example of what I admire about Dick Cheney.
Many people aren't interested in distinctions. The use of duress under strict guidelines is labelled torture. The criminal activities of Abu Ghraib guards are confused with administration policy. A legitimate reading of the Geneva Accords is called a treaty violation.
Most politicians would avoid the topic of torture, or use it for grandstanding. The lowest type of politician would put himself first, play to the cameras, and remind everyone that he was held in a Vietnamese prison. Cheney dared to tackle the issue. He spoke out in favor of a defined US policy, knowing full well the political cost.
The Kennedy Library gives out "Profiles in Courage" awards to politicians who do the right thing for the country in spite of the prevailing wind. Dick Cheney deserves such an award.