Advice to my womenfolk about mashers

If you propose anything much short of the death penalty for any man who has been accused (rightly or wrongly) of anything that any single person might arbitrarily decide to describe as "sexual harassment" or "sexual assault," then you should expect to be accused of insensitivity.

The preferred way of pushing this point comes as some form of 'what if it was your wife or daughter?' I got this basic argument in response to my defense of Arnold Schwarzenegger against slimy last minute sexual accusations.

Alrighty then. Having neither wives nor daughters, I'll address this as to an adult niece.

Arnold has been accused mostly of feeling women up. Guys shouldn't be putting their hands on you in an intimate manner without your consent, and you definitely shouldn't just put up with it.

Note, however, that matters of intimacy often don't involve formal businesslike negotiations and written agreements. Even the nicey-nice Disney song involves Sebastian demanding that the guy "Kiss the Girl"- not that he ask Ariel to sign a consent form.

Figuring out women's signals can be a bit ambiguous, then. Therefore, the first thing to keep in mind is to not be leading guys on or putting yourself in obvious likely situations to be receiving unwanted advances, ie by attending drunken parties at frat houses. This will avoid most problems.

However, sometimes signals get mistook, or guys start getting ahead of themselves. You might get touched inappropriately a time or two in life. It will then be your responsibility to form an appropriate response.

If some schmuck feels you up inappropriately, depending on the circumstances, the likely appropriate response would be simply to slap his face. Tell him to back off in no uncertain terms. This would likely be more than enough to give the likes of Schwarzenegger a clue.

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Article Author: Al Barger

Unreformed hawkish Hoosier hillbilly Al Barger runs the still squeezin' down the psychodelic Kentucky moonshine at More Things. What with the paranoid religious visions, the Pentecostal music, visions of God and anarchy running amok and such, somebody …

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  • 1 - John Mudd

    Oct 07, 2003 at 6:21 am

    Arnold should announce that, if any of the allegations against him are true, that he will let these women slap him in the face openly, before a public forum. He should also propose that, if elected governor, he will do something to help curb sexual harassment and sexual assault in the state. Both of these would be positive leadership moves on his part, and both would certainly beat the denials, which have obviously cost him a great deal of support.

  • 2 - Phillip Winn

    Oct 07, 2003 at 8:32 am

    Bravo, John! He should announce just such a course of action tomorrow, his first day as Governor-elect!

  • 3 - Eric Olsen

    Oct 07, 2003 at 9:28 am

    His attitude toward these women - whether he can be truly conciliatory - will immediately determine his effectiveness as a leader and show whether or not he has the capacity for change and growth. I think we will know very shortly.

  • 4 - Dawn

    Oct 07, 2003 at 9:42 am

    Does this advice apply to husbands who are constantly grabbing as they call it "your oh so ample ass"?

  • 5 - Laurie K.

    Oct 07, 2003 at 10:28 pm

    Ladies, do yourselves a favor. If someone plays grabass with you and you don't care for it, do something about it at the time, won't you? By coming forward later, you show yourselves to be cowards, media whores, and you insult the integrity of woman-kind, most of whom have no problem letting guys know when copping a feel is and isn't OK. This retroactive victimhood thing makes me sick. If you didn't care enough to do anything about it then, I'll just assume it was OK with you. Don't expect me to get worked up on your behalf years after the fact.

    Laurie K.

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