A Most Modest Proposal

The news these past few days on the gay marriage front has been, as usual, mixed and muddled. In New York, the state senate rejected a proposal to legalize marriage between two people regardless of sex by a vote of 38 to 24. In Washington, DC, the city council voted initial support to legalize same sex marriage by a vote of 11 to 2. Five states have legalized gay marriage through their legislatures, while states that have put the question to a popular vote as a constitutional amendment have universally seen it defeated.

Supporters of legalization point to the discrimination that denies gays in committed relationships the rights granted to heterosexual couples. Opponents insist that marriage is a status defined as the union of one man and one woman. Supporters counter that a loving relationship is a loving relationship regardless of the sex of the people involved. Opponents argue that legalization would start the country down a slippery slope that would eventually lead to polygamy and who knows what other abomination.

There seems to be a general agreement, however, that same sex couples should have the same general rights and privileges accorded by the government, state as well as federal, to married heterosexuals. This suggests a simple solution. The real problem is not the union of members of the same sex. That is happening, and no one really seems to suggest seriously that it would be possible, in this day and age, to eliminate it, even if there were a majority in support.

The real problem would seem to be marriage.

Let me suggest a modest solution. The one thing needful is not to legalize same sex marriage; the one thing needful is to get rid of marriage. We don't need a defense of marriage. We need an attack on marriage. In an age with a divorce rate between 40 and 50 percent, marriage doesn't seem to be an institution that promises the kind of stability that is necessary to a modern society. Marriage is, after all is said and done, only a word.

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  • 1 - Dr Dreadful

    Dec 04, 2009 at 10:35 am

    Sounds like a plan, Jack. Good, provocative piece.

    You're absolutely correct that marriage (at least the 'divinely-sanctioned' version - is not recognised on the statute books of many countries. In France, for example, a marriage is only official if you register the partnership at the town hall (at least, this used to be the case). Then, if you wish, you can get it blessed or solemnised by the religious denomination of your choice. But if a church wedding is all you do, you ain't married in the eyes of the law.

  • 2 - roger nowosielski

    Dec 04, 2009 at 10:39 am

    So you did not intend it, Jack, as a variation on Jonathan Swift's theme.

  • 3 - Jack Goodstein

    Dec 04, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Afraid, I did so intend it. Not everyone got it that way, however.

  • 4 - roger nowosielski

    Dec 04, 2009 at 11:15 am

    Iowa Supreme Court on Same-Sex Marriage, pdf file.

  • 5 - roger nowosielski

    Dec 04, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Personally, I don't think you can overthrow a concept, such as marriage, by legislation. That's not how the usage and/or meaning of ordinary language terms change.

  • 6 - Dr Dreadful

    Dec 04, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    As the Académie Française continues to discover, to its chagrin.

  • 7 - roger nowosielski

    Dec 04, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    How's that?

  • 8 - Dr Dreadful

    Dec 04, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    Well, they've been trying frantically to eliminate English incursions into the French language for years. Terms such as le week-end and le parking are lost causes by now, but the latest enemies are tech terms like computer and e-mail. The Académie has decreed that the French coinages ordinateur and courriel must be used instead.

    But everyone ignores them and continues happily using the English words.

  • 9 - roger nowosielski

    Dec 04, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Such are the vagaries of a natural language. But you can expect nothing else from the French whose chauvinism about their language exceeds none.

    They have good reasons, of course, but still . . .

  • 10 - Dr Dreadful

    Dec 04, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    Of course, there are just as many French words which have made the journey in the opposite direction.

    See my #6 - irony absolutely intended...

  • 11 - roger nowosielski

    Dec 04, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Of course, the irony hasn't been lost.

    And a person should consider themselves au courant for mastering such a vocabulary. And I don't mean "french fries."

  • 12 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Dec 04, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    It may be time to retire the headline variants of:

    "A Modest Proposal"
    "The Curious Case Of..."
    "An Open Letter To..."
    "How Do You Solve A Problem Like..."
    "Rush Limbaugh Says..."

    Okay, I'm almost done finishing the prototype of my new economical food refuse shredder. It's called "A Modest Disposal."

  • 13 - roger nowosielski

    Dec 04, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    That is clever, and I mean it.

  • 14 - Dave Nalle

    Dec 04, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    Matt, I've never seen anyone title an article with "Rush Limbaugh Says..."

    Dave

  • 15 - Jeff

    Dec 04, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    @Dr. Dreadful - Thank you very much for supplying us with our RDA/MDR/LSMFT of irony. As for the French war against mixed language, c'est la vie.

  • 16 - FCEtier

    Dec 05, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Good luck changing all the laws involved, especially with all the lawyers lobbying for their own interests.
    Did I read correctly that your proposal includes a way out from the beginning? You want to eliminate divorce, too? The legal profession would be all over that regardless of their opinions on the sexes of the participants.

  • 17 - Ted

    Dec 05, 2009 at 10:14 am

    To the author: If, as you say above, this was supposed to be a satire, what was the purpose of the piece? What are you trying to satirize?

  • 18 - Jack Goodstein

    Dec 06, 2009 at 8:09 am

    Ted raises an interesting question, which I am going to try not to answer in another essay which I am working on as we comment.

  • 19 - Matan

    Dec 09, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    this was an editor's pick?

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