A Cautionary Tale: Election Edition

Let this be a cautionary tale for everyone.

There were a lot of news outlets covering “tha govanah” in California, but those who were truly paying attention saw that this whole recall election was just a front. If you were looking for the right things, you would have sensed the presence of the devil. You see, the devil made a pact with the superiors in heaven because the numbers in hell have been down lately with the longer life expectancy and all. He started making threats of fire and brimstone to be unleashed upon the masses if he didn't get more people to push rocks.

Heaven is never really scared of the devil's threats because he could never win the war, but when he gets mad, he really tends to put stains on the carpets and set fire to the drapes. What a pain! Ultimately they do need him because they don’t have anyplace else to send horrible people. So, they hatched this plan for the recall election to appease the devil.

Angel on high: “So, you see Devil, there will be a large number of people who come out to vote in this election. We should be able to fill at least one or two of your specified quotas with some of the voters.”

Devil: “Good because I am getting impatient. Ever since you guys changed the policy and stopped sending all the gay people to hell upon their death, it has been very difficult to sustain our way of life down here.”

Angel on high: “Well, as it turned out they didn’t deserve to go to hell. It’s too bad only the Episcopalians get it so far, but I am sure the other followers will come around soon. It always takes a long time. I mean there are some people who still don’t eat meat on Fridays, if you can believe that! In the meantime, we have found a group of people who will no doubt be able to fill all the voids that have been created by the continued enlightenment of heaven.”

Continued on the next page Page 1 — Page 2

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Article Author: Craig Lyndall

Craig Lyndall writes about all things related to Cleveland sports for WaitingForNextYear.com.

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Article comments

  • 1 - Eric Olsen

    Oct 08, 2003 at 10:13 am

    Troubling if true

  • 2 - Natalie Davis

    Oct 08, 2003 at 12:04 pm

    (to a pulsing disco beat)

    Re-call Fe-vaaaah...

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