Well, isn’t this special? Pat Robertson, self-proclaimed mouthpiece of God and hurricane interventionist, has warned residents of Dover, Pennsylvania, that God may be coming after them and that they shouldn’t bother to ask for His help anytime soon.
What have these Godless heathens of damnable Dover done? On election day, they removed the entire eight-member public school committee and replaced them with people who won’t confuse science with religion. The ousted board had “ordered schools to read students a short statement in biology classes informing them that the theory of evolution is not established fact and that gaps exist in it.” Science teachers also had to mention that intelligent design is an alternate theory to evolution and point students to a book for more information.
The town, with the help of the ACLU, has taken the school board to court. The Pennsylvania supreme court will rule on it in the next few weeks. Apparently, Dover voters weren’t in the mood to wait for the decision.
Of course, to the ever moderate Robertson, this vote indicates that Dover rejects God entirely, thus earning them his and His wrath:
“I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected him from your city,” Robertson said on his daily television show broadcast from Virginia, “The 700 Club.”
“And don’t wonder why he hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for his help because he might not be there,” he said.
Now, I haven’t read any stories about churches being shut down in Dover as a result of the recent election. I haven’t seen any headlines proclaiming that residents don’t want God in their town or in their lives.
In fact, the new school board plans to include intelligent design in the Dover schools’ curricula. So God isn’t even been removed from the schools, never mind the town itself. The new board just wants to move him out of the science wing and down the hall to a comparative religion classroom, where he belongs.
I’m not surprised Robertson is misrepresenting the Dover vote. But at least he’s honest about one thing: he admits that intelligent design is about God. Most intelligent design proponents play possum and pretend that it’s not, just so they can sneak it into science classrooms without violating the prohibition on preaching religion in public schools. They proclaim, curiously, that the designer of the universe and life itself could be, you know, anybody — it doesn’t have to be God.
All I can say is THANK GOD the Dover residents didn’t have anything to do with gays in this vote. Because, frankly, gay people have caused the biggest tragedies on our soil in the past five years. Hurricane Katrina? That’s what Louisiana gets for … um … the choice of Ellen Degeneres as a TV awards show host, even though they didn’t actually choose her, she’s just from New Orleans. Terrorist attacks in NYC and Washington? Also Ellen Degeneres’ fault.
“This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards,” Robertson explained to his approximately one million viewers. “America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.”
Can you imagine? One woman’s orgasms — so powerful, they can destroy a city and fly planes into buildings. So if some tragedy befalls the good people of Dover, Pennsylvania, at least they can suffer God’s wrath knowing that it would have been a lot worse if Ellen Degeneres had “come” to their town.
[Also posted at Bitch Has *Word*.]