Written by Joe Wilson
LOS ANGELES, Calif. (PoopyCaca.com) – Hotel heiress, reality show star and “independent film actress,” Paris Hilton is “just really, really annoyed” that no media outlet contacted her for comment about Terri Schiavo or Pope John Paul II.
“It’s like, I’m here, I have a phone and I’m sure it hasn’t been hacked again, but they don’t call me. Not hot at all,” the celebrity explained using one of her two facial expressions. “That guy that yells on that show, the one Darrel Hammond does on SNL, he didn’t call, or that Irish guy on Fox.”
CNN spokesperson Oscar Cunningham said, “Ms. Hilton was not asked to be on CNN regarding the Schiavo story or the Pope because we don’t believe she has any particular expertise or experience in either of these areas.”
“I know about feeding tubes, I eat. And I’ve been to Rome and the Vatican, it’s hot,” Hilton told her pet Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, to tell the media.
Chris Matthews, the host of MSNBC’s “Hardball with Chris Matthews,” said, “If we need blonde opinion, we call that Coulter lady.”
Paul Begala, one of the co-hosts of “Crossfire,” a CNN “debate show” currently on life support, was excited at the prospect of Paris Hilton doing battle with Robert Novak. “Tucker Carlson left big shoes to fill and I think Paris Hilton could more than fill Tucker’s shoes.”
Hilton read from a statement she wrote herself, “I don’t want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as someone who knows stuff about things.”
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