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Paris Hilton Annoyed No One Has Asked Her What She Thinks

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Written by Joe Wilson

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (PoopyCaca.com) – Hotel heiress, reality show star and “independent film actress,” Paris Hilton is “just really, really annoyed” that no media outlet contacted her for comment about Terri Schiavo or Pope John Paul II.

“It’s like, I’m here, I have a phone and I’m sure it hasn’t been hacked again, but they don’t call me. Not hot at all,” the celebrity explained using one of her two facial expressions. “That guy that yells on that show, the one Darrel Hammond does on SNL, he didn’t call, or that Irish guy on Fox.”

CNN spokesperson Oscar Cunningham said, “Ms. Hilton was not asked to be on CNN regarding the Schiavo story or the Pope because we don’t believe she has any particular expertise or experience in either of these areas.”

“I know about feeding tubes, I eat. And I’ve been to Rome and the Vatican, it’s hot,” Hilton told her pet Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, to tell the media.

Chris Matthews, the host of MSNBC’s “Hardball with Chris Matthews,” said, “If we need blonde opinion, we call that Coulter lady.”

Paul Begala, one of the co-hosts of “Crossfire,” a CNN “debate show” currently on life support, was excited at the prospect of Paris Hilton doing battle with Robert Novak. “Tucker Carlson left big shoes to fill and I think Paris Hilton could more than fill Tucker’s shoes.”

Hilton read from a statement she wrote herself, “I don’t want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as someone who knows stuff about things.”

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  • http://community.webtv.net/paulnubiaempire nubianem

    PARIS HILTON’S COMMENTS IS MUCH LESS DIVISIVE, INSULTING, RACIST AND DIVISIVE THAN COMMENTS OF PEOPLE LIKE ANNE KKOULTAR, MONAJEWESS CHAREN, ROOS LIMBLOW, SHORN CONNITY, O’REALLY….AND ALL THESE FAKE ‘PSEUDO-CONSERVATIVES,” WHO WERE FORER SIXTIES LIBERALS….WHO INTRODUCED DECADENCE, DOPE SMOKING, ‘FREE SEX’ AND ALL THE FILTH THAT THEY ARE PRETENDING TO BE AGAINST BECAUSE IT IS NOW PROFITABLE TO MAKE MONEY BEING ‘CONSERVATIVE.”

    Ironically, the most conservative people in America today…ULTRA-CONSERVATIVE, ULTRA NATIONALISTIC AND ULTRA TRADITIONALIST…ARE BLACK AFRICAN AMERICANS.

  • gonzo marx

    ok then..

    y aknow it’s bad when even i consider all this … “far beyond silly”

    nuff said?

    Excelsior!

  • HW Saxton

    Pretty funny post PC.But taking shots at
    the critical thinking abilities of Paris
    is easier than blowing up a Dixie Cup
    with a stick of dynamite.

    Paris Hilton couldn’t think her way out
    of a soggy french fry bag. She is about
    as deep as the average soapdish and as
    bright as small appliance bulb.

    I live and work out here in Las Vegas,NV
    where stories about PH abound. That dog
    of hers goes with her everywhere that PH
    goes. She lets it do it’s business where
    ever it feels like and has maids come in
    and out of room constantly to clean up
    after it.And she is not ever going to be
    accused of treating these women with any
    degree of “kindness” or civility for the
    lack of better terms.What a utterly vile
    & disgusting excuse for a human being.
    And that’s not “Hot”.

  • HW Saxton

    Pretty funny post PC.But taking shots at
    the critical thinking abilities of Paris
    is easier than blowing up a Dixie Cup
    with a stick of dynamite.

    Paris Hilton couldn’t think her way out
    of a soggy french fry bag. She is about
    as deep as the average soapdish and as
    bright as small appliance bulb.

    I live and work out here in Las Vegas,NV
    where stories about PH abound. That dog
    of hers goes with her everywhere that PH
    goes. She lets it do it’s business where
    ever it feels like and has maids come in
    and out of room constantly to clean up
    after it.And she is not ever going to be
    accused of treating these women with any
    degree of “kindness” or civility for the
    lack of better terms.What a utterly vile
    & disgusting excuse for a human being.
    And that’s not “Hot”.

  • http://www.roblogpolitics.blogspot.com RJ

    Funny post! :)

  • gonzo marx

    bah,

    RJ..ya shouldn’t be looking at anything Paris Hilton…

    she’s too old for ya..i’ve seen yer pic

    Dora the Explorer is about all you should be allowed until yer voice changes..

    {8^P~~~~~~~~

    Excelsior!

  • http://www.roblogpolitics.blogspot.com RJ

    So, it’s a bad thing to look younger than you are?

  • gonzo marx

    only when yer 12

    Excelsior!

  • http://www.poopycaca.com PoopyCaca

    HW:

    In the comedy game, being funny is the main thing, regardless of the level of difficulty in finding that funny in any particular subject or context.

    Judging by your comment, I guess you couldn’t help yourself tagging up on the topic:

    “Paris Hilton couldn’t think her way out
    of a soggy french fry bag. She is about
    as deep as the average soapdish and as
    bright as small appliance bulb.”

    After the last couple of weeks of everybody and their mother weighing in on the last couple of weeks of news, I thought Paris was fair game and a subject we could all take a little comedic refuge in.

    I write comedy to make people laugh.

    Stay tuned for my post about how men and woman are different and airline food.

  • gonzo marx

    heh..

    PC..i do believe HW”s leg came off in yer hand while ya were tugging on it..

    now give it back, i hate ta see folks hopping around in circles…

    Excelsior!

  • HW Saxton

    Like I said, pretty funny post PC. I’ve
    taken a shot at sweet young Paris my own
    self sometime back right here at BC. If
    ya want to look for yourself(and I don’t
    blame if you should not want to)the post
    is titled:”Just Another Saturday Night”.
    It’s very similar to comedy only not as
    funny.

    Anyhoo,I’m looking very forward to your
    mind bending revelations on that whole
    difference between Boys & Girls.I’ve got
    to admit that between the girlies thang
    goes in and the boys thang goes out I am
    frankly clueless about it.Please do feel
    free to enlighten further.As for me I’ve
    got to get back to working on my peace
    treaty between Cats and Dogs. Just when
    I think I’m making headway some stupid
    dog goes & pulls yet another litter box
    bombing,sending us back to the table for
    more negotitiations and a game of fetch
    or two.

  • Tristan

    Oh POO !

    When someone thinks that Wal-Mart is a place that has stuff for WALLS —
    what further proof would any media mogul need to seek her as an expert on the Pope or Right to Death …?

  • HW Saxton

    Oh Yeah,by the by Gonzo,obviously I knew
    PC was pulling a funny.I was only making
    a comment on the post because I wanted
    to sneak in a coupla cheap shots at the
    Queen Of Preen myself.I did get a laugh
    out of it.Surrepititiously perhaps but a
    laugh nonetheless.But she really is an
    easy target though dontcha think?

  • gonzo marx

    yep, HW..way too easy fer the likes of me..

    she may be “easy”, but we know she ain’t cheap

    nuff said?

    Excelsior!

  • http://www.templestark.com Temple Stark

    Paris Hilton the only porn queen I know who ends up on magazines for teen girls as a”role model.”

    I’ve been meaning to post about that but …

    By the way according to Porn Star Name Generator “Albino Kitty” is the one for Paris.

    To cover the BC editors by the way:
    Eric O and I are both Jason Jizzy
    Phillip Winn is Chris Cucumber
    Eric Berlin is Michael J. Cox
    Justene Adamec is also Albino Kitty
    Bitch Has Word is Sandra Spunk
    Lisa Iannucci is Mary Muffmuncher (sorry)
    Scott Pepper is Jack in the Box

  • HW Saxton

    Aaaaargh!!!My porn name was Dick Cocks.
    I’m glad I’m not of the Asian persuasion
    it could’ve been worse. Hung Far Long or
    something along those lines.

  • Tristan

    Dick Nixon before he dicks you ………..

    nothing as good for GW that I’ve heard ……

  • gorgeous

    PAris i love u u rock!!!!!

  • american_trueblue

    PARIS IS A SLUT

  • australian_Gay_sisy

    oh please ,she is welcome here in australia! lol

  • lol

    u know girls dont like girls and boys dont like boys! so there

  • http://www.biggesttent.blogspot.com/ Silas Kain

    Paris Hilton is a reasonable argument for male homosexuality.

    INFERIOR!

    (sorry, gonzo)

  • http://paperfrigate.blogspot.com DrPat

    My porn star name is HARD HEAD. I like that one…

  • http://miriamsideas.blogspot.com miriam

    Very good post. Spot on!

  • http://www.PoopyCaca.com PoopyCaca

    Tom Cruise makes her look like someone to get an educated opinion from. . .