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Oscar Hosts Announced

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For the Oscar Pre-Show, ABC has insured that there will be no gratutious hand gesturing in the vicinity of Scarlett Johansson’s cleavage. The answer? Line up a cast of hosts that’s about as riveting to watch as Heather Graham and John Stamos pretending to be single.

The Academy of Motion Arts & Sciences (now i know why it’s simply referred to as The Academy) has elected Billy Bush, our favorite Access Hollywood anchor, Chris Connelly of MTV News fame who has now been reduced to 20/20 obscurity, fellow MTV alum, Vanessa Minnillo of “TRL” fame and last but not least, Cynthia Garrett, best known for her work as a VH1 VJ.

If you’re not so excited by this conservative line-up, don’t despair. There’s always the hilariously tacky Joan & Melissa over at TV Guide and lest us not forget the hapless and vain-ridden Isaac Mizrahi and Ryan Seacrest securing the homebase at E. As long as Juliana Depandi is kept to a minimum with her fashion insights I’ll be a happy camper. And a personal memo to JD: Remember to wear a pony-tail this time so we don’t have to watch you play Mary Make-over with Hilary Swank again.

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About Beth Gottfried

  • http://www.dorksandlosers.com Tan The Man

    Oh, well who watches the pre-Oscars anyway?

  • reggie von woic

    Pre-oscars, celui qui a entendu parler d’eux de toute façon ?

    Not me.

  • http://breathoffreshink.com Chris Evans

    ….I do. Haha

    -Looks around warily-

    ….

    -Runs off-

  • http://leoniceno.journalspace.com Sam Jack

    Billy Bush again?

  • http://www.dailybeth.typepad.com beth

    survey says: yuck