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Open Thread: WWE Monday Night Raw 03.21.11

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Lightning-quick intro: it’s been a minute since I’ve done this, but when Blogcritics introduced Open Thread, I took the opportunity to go back to my roots. So, here we go.

Prologue: Michael Cole mocks Jim Ross. Crowd hates his guts, but he’s still no Oklahoma. Triple-H then brings us back to more important matters. No, not any of the championships because they don‘t mean as much as ending the Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak. He wants to see Undertaker face-to-face next week. Ted DiBiase II interrupts and promptly takes a remorseless ass-kicking because we need to see how ruthless Hunter is going in to WrestleMania. Because it worked so well ten years ago.

Sheamus gets his revenge on Evan Bourne, beating him in 1:24. Daniel Bryan invokes his rematch clause for WrestleMania and Sheamus sends his head in to the fifth row as well. In the back, Orton interviews outside of a tour bus that we’ll see again later.

Eve Torres defends the Divas Title against Maryse, and Michael Cole follows behind Triple-H by begging for a women’s. Title match. To be over. For the second week in a row. Corre members Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel defend the Tag-Team Championships against Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov, with Corre members Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson ringside. Gabriel and Slater win before the Corre beat the former champs senseless. Kane and Big Show arrive to get revenge for an ass-whuppin’ they took on SmackDown.

After getting on The Rock’s case for appearing via satellite and not in person, John Cena joins us…via satellite. Cena says he’ll see Rock live (not Memorex) next week. Then, in a recap of last week, Michael Cole badmouths Jerry Lawler’s family of “losers” and Lawler bows up only to take an ankle-lock from Jack Swagger and Michael Cole. Oh, wait, that happened this week. Again.

We then get a recap of Snooki’s involvement on last week’s show and media coverage of the news that she’ll be in a match at WrestleMania. Thanks for making me even more ashamed to watch this stuff. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison becomes Dolph Ziggler, LayCool and Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison and Trish Stratus. Vickie Guerrero pins John Morrison. I start wondering if it was a good idea to volunteer for this gig.

A promo airs for SIn Cara and then one for the undertaker vs. Triple-H match at WrestleMania. Big Show, Randy Orton, Arn Anderson (!), John Morrison, Steve Austin, Harley Race (!) and Chris Jericho (!) discuss the match. Good stuff.

The “WrestleMania Rewind” match pitting Randy Orton against Rey Mysterio is cut short when CM Punk is shown on the TitanTron outside Orton’s tour bus. With his wife inside. Oh, snap. Orton freaks out and runs outside only to get the Tonya Harding treatment via a wrench. Punk says Orton shouldn’t have punted McGillicutty, Otunga, and Ryan (what, did Husky Harris not exist?), terrorizes Orton’s wife, and walks away with a modicum of heat leading in to WrestleMania. More of that next week, please.

In our Main Event Promo, the Miz talks about how he’s already made history, but he’ll do it again – and unveils the “spinner” title, only with the WWE logo upside-down to now look like an “M”:

 

 

Cute.

John Cena appears “via satellite” and applauds Miz before revealing that he’s been in the building the whole time. Cena runs down and Alex Riley becomes the fall guy once again when Cena locks him in the STF, prompting Miz to run away and end the show.

Not a bad show, overall. Definitely spinning their wheels for a week so we can get two live face-offs next week heading in to the big show on the WWE calendar. Be back next week to see how that plays out.

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About Michael Melchor

  • David

    No matter what would be done in this WrestleMania, let them no that the Undertaker will be 19-0.