Mistake #1: Sending her 'just' a wink
Most Internet dating sites let you send “winks” or “show interest” for free, but what does this say to her about you? When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy that's not serious about wanting to contact her and too cheap to fork over the $20 membership fee. What a wonderful way to start off a relationship. Not!
She also knows that a wink is an easy “cop-out.” Anyone can scroll through hundreds of online profiles and wink at everything that moves. From her perspective, why should she spend time on you when there are dozens of guys taking the time to send her real messages every day?
Mistake #2: Not having a recent quality photo in your profile
This one should be easy, but the fact is, most men do not upload their photo. The statistics on this one are very clear. Profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without; and profiles with quality photos get four times more than profiles with poor photos.
Let me ask you: When you log on to a dating site and search, don't you search for women with photos in their profile first? Why would she be any different? Many women will assume you have something to hide if you won't post your photo – like maybe your wife.
If you don't like your photo, have one made professionally. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile. If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a good quality photo.
Make sure you upload a recent photo. Nothing is more disappointing than to meet someone and realize the picture they sent you was 20 years and 40 pounds ago!
Mistake #3: Sending a message with a boring subject
Fact #1: Guys outnumber girls by at least two to one on most online dating sites, and that's a conservative number.
Fact #2: Good looking girls get dozens of winks and messages in any given day. You can have the most awesome profile and you can send her the most intriguing message, but she may never see it. How come? Simple; once again, women with good online profiles get lots of winks and messages every day. Give her a reason to open your message first! It has to stand out among all the others or it has a high chance of getting deleted and never read.
Spend just as much time crafting an intriguing subject line as you do in writing the rest of your message. Ask her a question or specifically reference some detail in her profile so that she will know you actually read it and are truly interested in more than just her looks.
Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic or otherwise lame message
You made the effort to become a paying member of a dating site and want to make the most of your membership, but then you came up with a standard boilerplate message and you quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls.
Go you! At least that's what you think. Okay, reality check.
Women like to feel special and important. They can smell a lame form message a mile away, and the delete button is always close at hand. Why not take a different approach? Actually read her entire profile (we know it's painful, but do it anyway), learn everything you can about her, and then send her an insightful, personal message.