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On The 8th Day, God Created Morons

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If you ever want to find a place where Evolutionists and Creationists can get along in pure non-sensical peace, take a trip to the Museum of Earth History in Eureka Springs, Arkansas.

Here you can see wonderful exhibits of dinosaurs right alongside exhibits for The Garden of Eden and The Tower of Babel.

The museum offers “high-quality, scientific exhibits displayed in a totally biblical setting.” “Viewers will journey through three epic periods of ancient history often overlooked by modern historians: life before the Fall, the post-Fall world, and life after the devastating effects of the great Genesis Flood.”

Take a reality-bending jaunt over to their website where you can see all about these fine historical and scientific exhibits:

The Curse: a vivid pictorial rendition of the effects of the Fall of man upon the earth. (Presumably taken from the fossil records and National Geographic story written at the time.)

The Flood: An 8ft X 28ft foot mural depicting the Noahic Flood event from the breaking open of the Great Deep to the landing of the Ark on Mt. Ararat. (Since no archaeological evidence exists)

The Garden of Eden: A large, panoramic still-life display featuring a representation of how Eden might have looked. This exhibit includes a 20-foot waterfall and lush vegetation, with a full-size skeleton of a Thescelosaurus and a skeletal skull replica of Stan, the Tyrannosaurus rex. (Stan as you all know was the fouth member of the biblical Fab Four, whose identity, like Ringo and George, was lost in the shuffle along with the serpent to the bigger stars Adam and Eve. A piece of word history: “Stan” is actually a translation of the bibilical Aramaeic term for “big fucking monster”.)

The Tower of Babel: This exhibit represents the very important time of the dividing of the nations, not too long after the Flood. Because of the sin of the people, God confounded their languages, which resulted in the dispersal of the different tribes and peoples across the world. (The exhibit doesn’t contain any actual archaeological material, but it looks really cool and is next to dinosaurs so it must be real.)

The Fish Aquarium: This exhibit has as its center-piece a 400 gallon salt-water aquarium, featuring some of the oceans’ most beautiful specimens. Mounted above the aquarium is a 15-foot skeletal replica of a Platecarpus tympaniticus. (The Fish Aquarium has nothing whatsoever to do with either creationism or evolution per se, but fish are cool, and the thing wouldn’t fit in the living room so it had to go somewhere. Oh wait, Jesus was a fisherman – there you go!)

You can also read such gems of true knowledge as:

“…dinosaurs are mentioned 25 times in the Old Testament.”

“Dinosaurs were on Noah’s Ark.”

“The dinosaurs on Noah’s ark were probably juveniles.” (why? Because full size dinosaurs would have been too big to fit the dimensions of the Ark, so this must be the answer)

“There are some indications that dinosaurs lived after the flood. For example, in the Book of Job, the author discusses the behemoth in chapter 40. The animal described clearly matches the description of a Sauropod (commonly known as a Brontosaurus).”

“Evidence from fossilized footprints, ancient artwork, literature and fossils all strongly support the fact that dinosaurs and humans did co-exist.”

I can see this one happening myself:

“I have found the tracks Kemosabe.”

“What do they say Tonto.”

“It looks like a Mexican, a White Man and a Velociraptor.”

“Dammit! First those damn Stegasaurus gangs attacked Fort Sam Houston and now these Velociraptors. I think we’re in big trouble Tanto.”

“What do you mean “we” white man?”

Yessirreeeee. Look at all the amazing things you can accomplish when your brain has left the building. What amazes me is the idea that people not only invested thousands of dollars to put this museum together, but that they will most likely get people to pay thousands of dollars to come see it.

What kind of substantial loss in cabin pressure do you have to have to think that the Tower of Babel story was real? Or that there were Brontosauruses roaming around the Middle East 2,500 years ago. They must have wreaked havoc on all the flocks of sheep, since I don’t think a kid with a wooden stick is going to do much damage to a triceratops.

If you think that anyone who could believe this kind of nonsense is functionally retarded, just remember that these same people are building your house, performing surgery on you and running your country.

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About Rudicus

  • Thanks Fred. I had a good laugh from this, except of course it isn’t really funny. Hate to think of all of the children who are being force-fed this stuff, and how hard they are going to find encountering the real world.

  • JB

    Great post…except it is sad that 50% of Americans believe in the literal interpretation of the Bible and that the earth was created in 6 days and is only 10,000 years old.

    To me a national security issue is educating our children, not making them dumber by exposing them to such nonsense in science classes. No wonder India and China are starting kick our asses. We learn about fairy tales, and they work on hard sciences like stem cell research. Nice….

  • Nancy

    I dunno, Fred: a triceratops is supposed to have been pretty dumb, so presumeably a kid w/a stick could drive it over a cliff, like those 400 sheep a few months ago. Mmmm…triceratops w/garlic & mint sauce!

  • Of course dinosaurs and humans lived side by side. Remember Fred and Dino?

  • Personally, I always liked Cajun tricerotops — garlic an cayenne really bring out the flavor without leaving that gamey taste that you can get.

    Seriously for a sec — the actual number of YECs (young earth creationists) is pretty low. Most don’t agree with the billions and billions timeframe, but few still hold to the 6,000 years ago thing. They ARE the most vocal, most of the time, though.

  • Thanks, but why is everyone calling me Fred?

  • And Noah said: “Whatever you do, don’t let the dinosaurs watch the rabbits.”
    Carpe Diem!

  • What struck me as most funny was when they offered reasons for the dinosaurs extinction and said that after all, ‘there were only two of each kind on the ark’, and they faced a vastly different world.

    I suppose this also explains why there aren’t unicorns anymore?

  • Shark

    I’ll be planning a visit. These small, whacked out museums are some of America’s hidden treasures.

    We have one in my area, the Creation Evidence Museum, where you’ll find a fossilized human footprint *IN THE SAME SOIL SAMPLE with a fossilized dinosaur footprint!

    Some caveman was apparently takin’ Rover out for a walk…

    *explicit proof of God! Hey, I’m born again!

  • They aren’t just in the US, Shark. There’s a great one in England at Jamaica Inn in Devon. It has gathered together all the travelling oddities that used to be in freak shows and sideshows – the ones that weren’t living people – and put them in one place. The biggest category is small, dead, stuffed animals dressed up and posed to depict various scenes from human life – like the entire wedding party made up of dead, stuffed kittens. Of course they also have various preserved two and three headed animals and the like. Good, creepy fun.


  • Amit

    Nice article …

    Sorry to be pedantic (and a few years late), but Junior (as in “In the name of Daddy, Junior and the Spook, Amen”) was a CARPENTER not a fisherman. St Peter was a fisherman.

    How does an atheist Hindu know this: 12 years of going to a Catholic missionary school – you pick these things up :-).

  • Feckin’ hilarious!