Of Bunnies and Hamsters

My wife, mother and daughters have an inordinate love of bunnies. They are all over the place around here, twitching their bunny whiskers, being all fuzzy and hoppy. These women would be exceptionally unhappy with these two miscreants:

It seemed like luck had run out for Lucky the rabbit. Strapped to a powerful explosive with a lit fuse, she was tossed into a lake. But Lucky lived up to her name. The explosive didn’t blow up, and the rabbit was pulled out of the water.

….Nick Sigmon, 18, and Paul Collins, 20, are accused of taping an illegal M-1000 — a large firecracker equivalent to a quarter stick of dynamite — to the rabbit and throwing her into Lake Don Castro.

Sigmon said he fished Lucky out of the water to save her from drowning, but that didn’t impress Alameda County prosecutors, who charged the two Castro Valley lifeguards on Wednesday. Two other men who were present during the incident may also face charges.

“I think that a lot of people are judging us without knowing us at all,” Sigmon told the San Francisco Chronicle. [AP]

Well, they do know one thing, shit-stain: you tried to nebulize and deep six an innocent bunny. You think you’re going to get any when you go away to college? Women love bunnies, yankwad.

Remarkable that this news would coincide with Alexandra Kerry’s speech at the DNC last night:

Alexandra, 30, an actress and filmmaker, told of how Kerry dove off a dock to save his sister’s pet hamster, whose cage had been knocked into the water. “It may sound silly … But, to us, it was serious and that’s what mattered to my father,” she said. [USA Today]

She also said her father performed CPR on the hamster. I’ll bet George W. Bush never breathed life into a rodent – point, Kerry!

I believe Sigmon precluded a political career for himself AND cemented a life of celibacy with one fell swoop.

And I hope he has nightmares about this: