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Of Bunnies and Hamsters

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My wife, mother and daughters have an inordinate love of bunnies. They are all over the place around here, twitching their bunny whiskers, being all fuzzy and hoppy. These women would be exceptionally unhappy with these two miscreants:

    It seemed like luck had run out for Lucky the rabbit. Strapped to a powerful explosive with a lit fuse, she was tossed into a lake. But Lucky lived up to her name. The explosive didn’t blow up, and the rabbit was pulled out of the water.

    ….Nick Sigmon, 18, and Paul Collins, 20, are accused of taping an illegal M-1000 — a large firecracker equivalent to a quarter stick of dynamite — to the rabbit and throwing her into Lake Don Castro.

    Sigmon said he fished Lucky out of the water to save her from drowning, but that didn’t impress Alameda County prosecutors, who charged the two Castro Valley lifeguards on Wednesday. Two other men who were present during the incident may also face charges.

    “I think that a lot of people are judging us without knowing us at all,” Sigmon told the San Francisco Chronicle. [AP]

Well, they do know one thing, shit-stain: you tried to nebulize and deep six an innocent bunny. You think you’re going to get any when you go away to college? Women love bunnies, yankwad.

Remarkable that this news would coincide with Alexandra Kerry’s speech at the DNC last night:

    Alexandra, 30, an actress and filmmaker, told of how Kerry dove off a dock to save his sister’s pet hamster, whose cage had been knocked into the water. “It may sound silly … But, to us, it was serious and that’s what mattered to my father,” she said. [USA Today]

She also said her father performed CPR on the hamster. I’ll bet George W. Bush never breathed life into a rodent – point, Kerry!

I believe Sigmon precluded a political career for himself AND cemented a life of celibacy with one fell swoop.

And I hope he has nightmares about this:

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About Eric Olsen

Career media professional and serial entrepreneur Eric Olsen flung himself into the paranormal world in 2012, creating the America's Most Haunted brand and co-authoring the award-winning America's Most Haunted book, published by Berkley/Penguin in Sept, 2014. Olsen is co-host of the nationally syndicated broadcast and Internet radio talk show After Hours AM; his entertaining and informative America's Most Haunted website and social media outlets are must-reads: Twitter@amhaunted, Facebook.com/amhaunted, Pinterest America's Most Haunted. Olsen is also guitarist/singer for popular and wildly eclectic Cleveland cover band The Props.
  • I’m surprised that you didn’t mention the killer bunny from the Monty Python movie or the bunny boiling scene in Fatal Attraction.

    As a formerly bunny-obsessed person who may in the future fall and return to the rabbit habit, I would know those things.

    Bunny lovers interested in learning more about rabbits should check out: House Rabbit Society’s Web site.

  • Eric Olsen

    PT dear, where do you think the chomping bunny at the bottom came from? Monty Python all the way.

    And it was actually the House Rabbit Society that turned the cumbubble in.

  • And then, there’s always Jimmy Carter and his infamous encounter with a killer bunny.

  • Yes. The vicious rabid rabbit reminded me of Monty Python, but one shouldn’t assume. And one should never underestimate a bit of fluff.

  • Eric Olsen

    correct, correct and correct, although “a bit of fluff” was all that was left after our cats go hold of a bun-bun the other day

  • So we should be reporting you to your local SPCA?

    Gee don’t you feed your cats enough?

    I’ll be sure to warn zee Easter Bunny about hopping around in your neighborhood.

  • Eric Olsen

    we feed those damned cats all the time, the like to kill things and there are plenty of things around

  • kayla nd paul

    i h8 u u r evil! u tied a bunny 2 an explosive! u should b put in jail animals have feelings 2!! would u like 2 b tyed up nd pracatacally tortured by a big giant. fuk u u evil bitchs.