I finally figured out why Obama so often looks uncomfortable, impatient and annoyed. He never seems to be a totally normal guy; one who can enjoy his public opportunities to eat local foods and indulge himself like a real American enthralled with delicious unhealthy foods. He is unable to joyously let loose and just be a happy black guy able to live in a millionaire’s McMansion and have a shot at being president after hardly learning how to be a senator. Why?
Deep down Obama wants to scream, because he is suffering from a severe case of crotch or jock itch or, more correctly in his case, bitch itch. As a presidential candidate in the public limelight 24/7, he restrains his natural desire to vigorously scratch his inflamed, drive-you-crazy itch, which is named Hillary. His wife understands that it has not resulted from any intimate physical contact with Hillary and surely feels his pain, though Mrs. Obama must continually remind Barry that he cannot afford to let his incessant itch overcome his well-honed professional capability to hide the truth and keep smiling. Obama compulsively strives to be the super-successful black man he and his wife have been waiting for.
So Obama courageously keeps talking; selling change, but unable to change his own misery. Silently and grinningly, he bears the pain and discomfort that is always wriggling in his consciousness, like some alien indestructible life form. Often, he must pause between words as he tells himself to resist the temptation to openly and brazenly acknowledge his pain – to just scream at the top of his lungs. Now, you can better understand his various loony statements; he stays just one tempting moment away from dropping his messiah façade, falling off his pedestal and loudly screeching “Hillary is driving me freakin’ crazy and I’m not going to take it anymore!”
So now you know the rest of the story. Every time you see the big Obama grin, remember what is driving him nuts – the Hillary itch that grows more irritating day by day; the itch that just won’t go away, and might eventually cause his mental heat to melt his politician cool, causing him to throw away his self-righteous script and scream obscenities as he confronts his pain.
Just imagine how stressful it is for Obama to stay so supremely confident, defiantly resisting that most human urge to scratch his Hillary bitch itch. His obsessive ambition to be the first black American president seems strong enough to resist rational human response. Is that the kind of person we want as president? Someone with such yes-we-can self-control, unable to boldly fight his pain because doing so might jeopardize his ego-soaked quest for the ultimate power? I see a character defect.
Obama seems too cerebral. I want a president that knows how to scratch his itch. If he cannot act on his pain, how can he act on my pain and the pain of many millions of other Americans?