I was in grade 9 when Adam Sandler made his album They’re All Gonna Laugh At You. A friend of mine made me a copy of it on tape (good old tapes… I think it’s still kicking around here actually). I used to listen to it in my walkman on the bus and laugh to myself. It was just one more reason for people to think I was nuts.
Considering its content, my parents would not have liked me listening to it. Not at 14. However, when my sister hit 14, she had copies of all the other albums Adam Sandler made, and my parents didn’t even blink an eyelash. Would figure.
So, when my parents went out anywhere, I would take the opportunity to use the stereo system in the living room to listen to the stuff I wasn’t supposed to, like George Carlin. I knew all the words to his 7 words you can’t say on air from his 1974 production – Occupation: Foole. But, this one time, I decided to listen to Adam Sandler.
It was mid-afternoon. Mom and Dad were gone out to do groceries, which usually took about an hour in total since it was a 15 minute drive to town and back. Or at least it was for my Mother… I forgot to factor in the fact my Dad had a heavier foot than she.
So, the tape’s playing at some ungodly volume, and I’m singing along to “At A Medium Pace” while vacuuming the living room. I didn’t notice my parents pull into the driveway. They grabbed a few bags of groceries, climbed the stairs on the front step, and opened the door with the intentions of telling me to turn the music down and give them a hand, when at the loudest I could play the tape on the system, they heard “You see that shampoo bottle, now stick it up my ass.”
Mom dropped the groceries and stopped the tape player. My Dad laughed his ass off. What ensued afterwards was a conversation with both parents, my Mother asking me where I got such a gross tape, and my Dad saying “Yeah, can you make me a copy? The guys at work would love this!” (This was usual for my Dad, who took a copy of “Armegeddon” mp3 to work and played it for his crew at a freak “Safety Meeting” before one shift. FYI, “Armegeddon” is about felching, hamsters, ignited intestional gasses and furry projectiles.)
So, after having the tape confiscated by my Mother, my friend made me another copy… Years later, I played the tape for my Mom, who without having to worry about what kind of humor her oldest daughter listens to anymore, thought it was rather funny, in a crude kind of way. Which, she will admit, sometimes is the best kind of funny.
Today, I was listening to At A Medium Pace. Mom called… You’ll never guess at what point in the song, too.