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No, Really, This Time I Mean It

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What are you supposed to do after reading something like this? Laugh? Cry? Puke? It would be funny parody coming from the likes of The Onion. Unfortunately, it’s a serious news story in today’s Washington Post.

Colin Powell, the lone voice of semi-reason amongst the cracked pots in Bush’s cabinet, the guy the president is dumping because his correct advice was to zig when the neoconservatives really wanted to zag, the secretary of state whose disdain for the flawed Weapons of Mass Destruction intelligence that got the U.S. into the Iraq mess was leaked publicly – but who, under orders, then humiliated himself anyway by trying to sell the bag of shit to the United Nations, who knew as well as Powell did that it was a big lie –

That Colin Powell, the one being replaced by Condo “yessir, Mr. B.” Rice – now is singing the Weapons of Mass Destruction song again, with Iran in the chorus this time. Here’s the first couple of verses:

“I have seen some information that would suggest that they have been actively working on delivery systems. . . . You don’t have a weapon until you put it in something that can deliver a weapon,” Powell told reporters traveling with him to Chile for an Asia-Pacific economic summit. “I’m not talking about uranium or fissile material or the warhead; I’m talking about what one does with a warhead.” …

“I’m talking about information that says they not only have these missiles, but I am aware of information that suggests that they were working hard as to how to put the two together,” Powell said, referring to the process of matching warheads to missiles. …

“There is no doubt in my mind — and it’s fairly straightforward from what we’ve been saying for years — that they have been interested in a nuclear weapon that has utility, meaning that it is something they would be able to deliver, not just something that sits there.” …

Powell said the United States would monitor verification efforts “with necessary and deserved caution because for 20 years the Iranians have been trying to hide things from the international community.”

Holy shit, sports fans! What does this really mean? Among the many and unnatractive possiblities:

1. Powell is speaking the truth as it has recently been revealed to him, perhaps because he’s alarmed that the International Atomic Energy Agency just opined that all nuclear material in Iran has been accounted for and does not appear to be in use in a weapons program, and the heads of European states just received non-proliferation promises from Iran. But Powell has evidence it’s all a WMD smokescreen.

2. BushCo has asked the good little soldier to carry its stinky water one last time, knowing that he cannot refuse to follow orders from his ranking superior no matter how vile they may be. They intend to take the war to Iran and forced Powell to telegraph the first move to take the pressure off of Rice, who surely would be booed off stage if this were to be her first major pronouncement.

It would be nice – real nice – to see just what this “information” is Powell mentions. Was it something Dick Cheney scribbled on his office blotter? Something the new, slimmed-down CIA discovered for the new boss? Or something of true substance?

Whatever the truth, it’s not good. First off, after Powell, on behalf of BushCo, was caught in the big Iraqi Weapons of Mass Bullshit lie, who in the world is going to believe him this time? Yet if Iran really is pursuing a weapons program, who else within BushCo has any standing or credibility in the world’s eyes? It’s not easy being Chicken Little when the sky truly is falling.

Is there any reason to think the neocons have learned lessons from the current quagmire and now are ready to turn to the international community instead of forcing working-class American sons and daughters to run full-out, swords drawn, into another quicksand pit? Netaloid doesn’t think so. After all, the rumdum behind the curtain directing the current military disaster appears to possess a secure cabinet seat for the second go-round.

Therefore, if this is a prelude to Quagmire II, Netaloid wonders where the additional soldiers will come from, since almost the whole American military already is busy bringing freedom and democracy to Fallujah and other cities across Iraq.

Look, the election’s over. Isn’t it time to heat up The Draft? Or maybe Donald Rumsfeld can shock and awe Iran into complete submission.

Meanwhile, it’s instructive to remember that Osama bin Laden still is wandering around the mountains somewhere, free to plot murder and stir the pot. Then there’s North Korea.

All in all just another happy day at World Police Headquarters.

Netaloid advises you to keep your head down, and hide your teenagers from the Selective Service.

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  • i like the photo in the current onion that shows bush next to gonzalez with the caption “Ashcroft Loses Job To Mexican”.

    …and those guys get paid to write that stuff. it ain’t fair.

  • Not to forget that Colin is now free to march down the street, haul Michael out from his desk at the FCC, drag him outside, bend him over his knee, and just wail the hell out of him.

    What (whack) part (whack) of the motherfucking (whack) constitution, do you not (whack) understand? I raised you (whack) better than (whack) that boy!

  • RJ

    “Condo “yessir, Mr. B.” Rice”

    That is borderline racist.

  • Could one of you please explain to me how this runny brown stream of what passes for wit in your neck of the woods is supposed to inspire me to admire or even pay attention to what you have say?

    Frankly, I’m baffled, because it seems like nothing more than the behavior of somebody pissing on the sidewalk, yelling, “what are you looking at?” when you are asked to not piss on the sidewalk.

    You only seem to be committed to making things worse, and that’s not so appealing. Mostly just to be avoided like toxic waste.

    Of course, as examples of members of the USA as belligerent, abusive ignorant thugs, this is just prime.

  • RJ, “yessir, Mr. B” isn’t borderline anything. It represents someone who kisses up to her boss, telling him just what he wants to hear because, obviously, that’s how you get ahead in the Bush administration. Are you suggesting blacks as a demographic group say “yessir?” a lot and therefore using the phrase in a post is racist? Good lord.

    Jim, I could care less whether this “runny brown stream” results in admiration or attention from you. At the time this was written, no one outside the Post had reported on, let alone commented on, the remarkable statements Powell made about Iran and the ramifications from same. My post is pointing out what I believe are the motives behind the statements. Applying critical thinking to the actions and words of political leaders is not “making things worse.” Making things worse is just blindly accepting everything they say and do as being true or altruistic. That’s one of the main reasons 1,200-plus American kids have died in Iraq so far with more on the way, by far the worst budget deficits in American history and no end in sight to either the deaths or the wasted dollars. No one (at least no one in Congress) had the guts to speak up.

    But that’s just my opinion. People in the blogosphere create commentary and opinion on a regular basis, and read and accept or reject other people’s commentaries and opinions. That’s all it amounts to. If you don’t like my writing style or opinions, reject them. I can take it.

    But if you don’t understand the post, how do you explain your earlier comment? Kinda Jeckle & Hyde.

  • RJ

    I think JC meant that comment to be sent to another post…