Every time I turn on the radio it seems like I hear another Christian artist covering a secular song from the past. I really don’t understand the fascination.
Don’t get me wrong! It’s not that I’m against cover songs. Most bands play covers in their live sets. And there’s a lot of great music out there to play. But, “Send Me an Angel”? Give me a break! And you know what? That song isn’t even about angels. It’s about girls or something. And remember the infamous Pat Boone heavy metal experiment…well, I guess you can’t fault a guy for having a sense of humor, but “Crazy Train”?! That’s just wrong, man.
Quite simply, this kind of music bastardization has got to stop. So, as a first step in remedying this problem, I came up with 10 secular artists that I believe should not be covered by Christian bands under any circumstances—ever! Here they are in no particular order.
- Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Korn, etc.—Upon further examination, these are all the same band, and that band is terrible, and nobody in the band can spell.
- Nirvana—The most overrated band of the past 20 years. There, I said it. I’ll stand by it, too. Plus, life’s too short to listen to songs about being unhappy. It’s the poetry of pain and it brings me down.
- Ozzy Osbourne—You’re just asking to be thrown under a bus if you cover this guy (see Pat Boone). What’s with all the crosses? By the way, Ozzy could never be a CCM artist, he can’t over-enunciate his lyrics.
- Madonna—Her music is inappropriate on so many levels. And it’s fascinating that her fan base is mostly 40-something women and not 12-year-old boys.
- Evanescence—There are too may Christian rock bands out there who sound like this band. Why do people try to label them as Christian? Are they?
- U2—Please, please, please don’t ever cover U2. Their songs are perfect the way they are. But if you must, please don’t try to sound like them. You can’t do it right and no one will enjoy listening to it. Trick it up. Make it your own. And don’t try to sound like The Edge. Sorry, this is as objective as I can be about U2. You should have heard what I wanted to write.
- Eminem—I don’t get this guy and his act has already been done by people who can sing and play their own instruments—at the same time!
- Jessica Simpson—There is no reason for any of this young lady’s music to be heard anywhere or by anyone.
- Kid Rock—This guy doesn’t know it but he would make a great 80s Christian artist. He makes his living sounding like a knock-off of artists from the past.
- System of a Down—What do you like better, their worship or their praise?