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New Year’s Resolutions Courtesy of ESPN and the National Spelling Bee

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For this, the seventh year of the new millenium, I have made certain resolutions that I feel will guide me toward a successful and happy year.

1) I will not be a pococurante, but I will also not be a kamikaze, nor will I be guilty of logorrhea. I would like to study at a lyceum, or any milieu that would help me elucubrate.

2) I hope I don’t get infected by staphylococci (which might give me xanthosis), but if I do, I could maybe try using an antipyretic. Hell, I don’t even want odontalgia, you know what I mean?

3) And most of all, I definitely will not be a victim of vivisepulture (this might sound antediluvian, but I’m more of a sarcophagus guy myself, and no succedaneum will suffice). But if by some chance I am, any elegiacal demarche will be truly appreciated.

P.S. Okay, so I don’t think I’ve ever watched ESPN in my life, but I turned it on today and a rerun of the 77th Annual National Spelling Bee had me hypnotized (as any viewer of the documentary Spellbound will understand), which led me to this list of championship words.

Who says TV can’t educate? Happy 2006!
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