Selected by Amanda of Rhapsody in Blog
5. Rush - Hemispheres- 1978
Rush was and continues to be a ground breaking band. As a power threesome, they represent total musical coordination combined with sheer energy, creating walls of powerful rock sound. But let's face the facts:
1)Rush is a DUDE band!
2) Girls don't, never have, and never will like it. Geddy Lee has a weird sounding high pitched voice and Neal Peart is a one man factory for nerdy lyrics. You can't get chicks with this stanza:
But I have no shape or form.
As a disembodied spirit,
I am dead and yet unborn.
I have passed into Olympus
As was told in tales of old,
To the city of Immortals,
Marble white and purest gold...
Why would the air-guitar jamming dudes, who are getting pumped up to drop the needle on Cynus XI, Book II, want to check out a naked male ballet dancer's cheeks as he pirouettes on top of a brain? Was the concept for this concept album supposed to be Mikeal Barishnikov's Gluteus-spheres? Hemispheres of the brain? Let's Ask Jeeves. He's got a jollly better view!!
Selected by Pantagruel of the Radish Message Board
6. The Rolling Stones - Their Satanic Majesties Request
- 1967
What if the Sgt. Pepper's album cover was a horrible tragedy of misplaced intentions (and wizards)? I think you end up with this little bout of ridiculosity. Sad, really... they almost seem to be crying out for approval from the psychedelic set. "But look! We're magic! Love us!" it screams back at you, from behind a nauseating rainbow sheen. The best decision the art director made here was probably to border the whole lot with clouds; at least, I think those are clouds. It allows you to forget that your favorite rock band has left you for purple pastures, phallic castles and moon hats.
Selected by the FIQL.com team
7. manOwar - Anthology - 1997
I had this one in my mind right off the bat and so did Drake, although we both ultimately made different choices I just could't leave this off the list. Most people have a hard time telling if this is a Heavy Metal album or a gay porno dvd, so don't ever leave it laying around the living room. The anilmal fur always gives an oiled male body that "gladiator" look, which is so popular now ever since that Russell Crowe movie. Drake seems to think that the bands heads were Photshopped on the cover. I think these guys are really buff. Forget about steroids in baseball, what about steroids in metal? If anyone knows the true story of manOwar's muscles please leave a comment.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Marty Dodge
There just had to be a Manowar cover...but how could you chose one out of so many dire covers?
2 - Robert
It was tough to be sure. I really think it was the animal fur that pushed it over the edge.
3 - Rodney Welch
Funkadelic just wouldn't be Funkadelic without Pedro Bell's artwork. Yeah, it's "bad," but it works. It's over the top. This record defined funk in every way possible: it's funny, weird, twisted, trippy, and stinky (Clinton was into his doo-doo fetish then) and the art matches it perfectly. And the front cover is nothing compared to the inside cover, with the busty orgasmic black babe and the gushing fountain.
4 - Robert
It only "works" because it is associated with such a classic and important album. I agree with you 100% on that. Pedro improved by ""Electric Spanking", but this artwork is undefensibly bad.
5 - Rodney Welch
I wouldn't change a thing. Pedro rules.
6 - uao
Interesting how all but one of those Phil Collins mugs is cropped just below the hairline.
7 - Sister Ray
Speaking as a fellow girl, Amanda, you are so right about Rush! What were they thinking with that cover?
I'd like to think the Satanic Majesties cover was intended as a send-up of Sgt. Pepper's, but I'm probably reading too much into it.
8 - Mark Saleski
wasn't the whole RECORD a reaction to Sgt. Pepper's?
plus, the original release had one of those freaky, wavey pieces of plastic over the center photo. i forget what happened when you moved the record around while looking at it.
prolly saw god or something.
9 - Michael J. West
Funny thing is, Their Satanic Majesties Request is my FAVORITE album cover...at least on the original vinyl, where it had one of those 3D covers that changes when you tilt it (which basically shows the Stones with their heads turned). It's so campy that it's genius!
10 - Eric Olsen
great choices, thanks Robert et al! I too like the Satanic cover, and see the Pedro covers as intergral to the Funkadelic aesthetic, but I don't like them all that much either
11 - Douglas Mays
Mike (re: comment #9), I agree with you for the very reasons you stated. It is one of those things that will get it on a worst list AND a best list. Like politics there will always be opposition.
remembering back to punk days, DOA's (Van BC)first EP was printed basically on a white album sleeve. That was the cover. Life In General (Seattle) had this one EP that was actually quite good and minimalist. Both in black and white. Punx saving money. Another case of "Is it awful or great!" Could be a game show...
12 - Tom Johnson
Regarding Rush: 2) Girls don't, never have, and never will like it.
Tell that to my wife. She LOVES Rush, as do I, which is yet another reason I love her.
Geddy Lee has a weird sounding high pitched voice
Actually, no, he doesn't. Only on the first handful of Rush albums is he hitting the extreme high notes, but if anyone says they don't mind Robert Plant's feminine vocals, they cannot possibly nick Rush for Geddy's vocals - Geddy does and always has sounded male. Plant often did not. This cliche got old long, long ago. The majority of Rush songs and albums do not feature Geddy singing in a particularly high register. It's an annoying and cheap insult made by people who can't actually put into words the real reasons why they don't like the band.
13 - Robert
I love Rush too, but common, there are two major flaws with the band.
1. Geddy Lee's voice
2. Neil Peart's Lyrics
Bad, bad, bad, fortunately the vituosity and songwriting are good enough to help me overlook the bad.
Kinda like Liv Taylor with a zit on her forehead. It's not that hard to look past.
14 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
"good as i been to you" by Bob Dylan is a truly horrendous album cover, made all the more so by the fact that the record is sublime. horrible horrible cover right there.
also, 50 Cent - The Massacre, wherein he appears to have his head photoshopped onto a different photograph entirely. if this isn't the case, it sure as hell looks like it.
15 - Mark Saleski
i've got an album called "120 Removed" with truly hideous cover art.
;-)
16 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
hahaha mark, you old dog
17 - drake
Amanda actually picked Prince, not Rush... Pantagruel picked Rush.
As far as females not liking Rush, my wife actually saw Rush in concert, whereas I haven't. I still can't tell, though, if that means she likes them (she only owns Counterparts.)
w/r/t the Prince selection... in total agreement...let's just say I purchased every Prince album on vinyl (up until CD's) except that one. That one had to be on cassette for the smallest of covers. Dirty Mind LP was probably the hardest purchase I ever made as a 13-year old (I bought all his albums after getting Controversy first in 1981) but I couldn't settle for cassette on that one.
18 - Mark Saleski
the wife loves Rush. we saw them play at the tweeter center (was it still called great woods back then) where they played the full length 2112 that appears on Different Stages.
19 - Pantagruel
Tom Johnson said,
"people who can't actually put into words the real reasons why they don't like the band"
I wonder why you didn't read the very first thing that I wrote about Rush. I totally love Rush and I very much like to listen to this album. You might also notice that Geddy does hit the high notes on this album. Tell me that he didn't neuter himself to sing "The Trees" with a straight face.
20 - Robert
"There is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the trees...."
Now there's some classic Neil Peart schlock lyrics
21 - Pantagruel
It is funny that Phil Collins hardly ever strayed from the close up of his face. There have many interviews where he expresses self-depricating humor about it. According to him, he doen't think that his face is very handsome (with the scar and everything.) But he stuck with it.
22 - Natalie Davis
Alan Parsons Project's Eve just grossed me out. Same with Zappa's Weasels Ripped My Flesh. It can be argued that both were appropriate for the music contained within, but still. Ewwww.
23 - Pantagruel
You guys want to hear the higest note that Geddy Lee sings. Check out the Album "Caress of Steel" on the sequence entitled "Fountain of Lamneth" and listen at the end of "Didacts and Narpets" hahaha its a drum solo
24 - Sister Ray
"Amanda actually picked Prince, not Rush... Pantagruel picked Rush."
Oops. My mistake. Just misread it.
I don't dispute Rush's talent, they're just not my particular cup of tea. I have some non-traditionally-feminine musical tastes myself.
25 - Rodney Welch
Duke -- Agree totally on the Good As I Been To You cover. It reeks. And I've been spending a LOT of time with that record over the past month, especially "Black Jack Davey."