The absolute worst popular album covers as chosen by the music bloggosphere.
Get hundreds of great playlists at the Rhapsody Radish…
The absolute worst popular album covers as chosen by the music bloggosphere.
Get hundreds of great playlists at the Rhapsody Radish…
Article comments
— go to most recent comments26 - Randy P/Tube Pinoy
We're lucky they limited this to "popular" album covers (although I don't know anyone who bought "Dirty Work"). The non popular album covers are more interesting and worse.
27 - Michael J. West
I agree that Prince's cover has the look of a John Holmes movie poster--or one of the actors in the "Let's Get Physical" video. But I thought For You was a worse cover...with that huge 'fro and the blurring to Prince's right side, he looks like he's coming out of hyperdrive to pose for the cover.
28 - Mike
BTW, I never thought Rush was a particularly DUDE band, but it has been pointed out to me that they're a particularly GEEK band...
29 - Rodney Welch
Randy -- I bought Dirty Work. Good one for the underrated file, the title cut being a nice jab at Reagan that also works amazingly well with President SwiftBoat.
30 - Sterfish
I had forgotten how bad that Prince cover was. My dad has that on vinyl and it's always been an unusual one. I usually like Funkadelic/Parliament's covers, but I have to agree that the One Nation Under A Groove cover is probably the worst one.
One cover I think should've been included is Michael Jackson's Invincible. The extreme closeup on his face is probably the real reason why it didn't sell as well as previous albums.
31 - Jeff
that Rolling Stones cover is pretty awful - good list!
32 - Amanda
Just read thru all the comments completely - good work guys. There is some excellent writing here and I laughed out loud several times!
Michael J., it was totally a toss-up as to which Prince cover I would pick, it was either the one you mentioned, the one where he's all naked and stuff or "Prince." I think the one I picked has the right level of creepiness to push it over the edge.
33 - Tom Johnson
Mike, Rush is indeed pretty much a "geek" band and I'm pretty proud to align myself with them.
As for lyrics, that's a personal-taste issue, I guess. He seems to turn off people who only want to hear about love, or women, whatever - cliches, generally. I'd rather hear Peart's non-lovesong, non-women-oriented thoughts than pretty much every other song-writer out there - Elvis Costello, Aimee Mann, and a few others obviously excepted. As I've said before, you don't have to like Peart's lyrics, but to actually write them off as "bad" reveals that you probably aren't really paying much attention, or maybe haven't actually listened to the band's post-1978 material. His songwriting is simply not for everybody - it can be "cold" and impersonal, but it's intelligent. I have no problem with people disliking the lyrics because they're cold, and even welcome it. At least they're different. Not only that, but his three books are quite well written - he's no Hemingway, but he certainly has a way with words. As the Library Journal says of his latest book, Traveling Music, "Peart's writing is lyrical and his tale poignant, fully capturing an extraordinary journey, both as a travel adventure and as memoir."
I could sit back and jokingly go along with the naysayers, but I'm just tired of it. It's just so damned hypocritical to knock Rush for their lyrics and then see all this praise heaped all over pure drivel like Coldplay.
34 - Duane
Well said, Tom. It's all too easy to criticize musicians when they are caught trying to extend themselves. The common criticism is that they are "pretentious." I never understood this. I like pretentious musicians. There's this idea that rock music has to be gut level only, and that it shouldn't appeal to our minds. That kind of stuff is fine -- I like Prince too -- but hats off to Peart for not playing by the rules.
35 - drake
Regardless of whether you like Neil Peart's lyrics, I think we can all agree they're better then Geddy Lee's attempts.
36 - Duane
One thing about Peart's lyrics that I will concede is that sometimes they are awkward in the context of the harmonic and melodic structure. In a finely-crafted song, the lyrics should not stick out like sore thumbs, and sometimes they do. Like, say
"I knew he was different in his sexuality
I went to his parties as a straight minority."
When I listen to that song (Nobody's Hero), the words don't really mesh well into the music. Maybe it's just me.
And Rush has some fine album covers, by the way, in spite of that ridiculous Hemispheres cover.
37 - Tom Johnson
Drake, have you heard Geddy's solo album that came out in 2000? He's picked up a lot from 25 years with Peart. The lyrics are a hell of a lot better than "Cinderella Man" and the self-titled Rush album. And, musically, it's pretty damned good, too - it soars where Test for Echo stumbled.
Duane: "Nobody's Hero" is definitely not a good example of Peart's abilities. A noble attempt at an "issue" song, but the outcome was not a great result.
38 - Robert
It have nothing to do with Neil's lyrics not being "about love, or women"
Neil Peart is just an over-the-top, horrible lyricist.
"I stand atop a spiral stair
An oracle confronts me there
He leads me on light years away
Through astral nights, galactic days"
"Through the void
To be destroyed
Or is there something more?
Atomized ---- at the core
Or through the Astral Door ----
To soar...."
Case closed
39 - Al Barger
I'll just say that I very much LIKE the cover of Their Satanic Majesties Request. The artwork reflects the title, which makes it not quite the hippy-dippy thing you imagine.
40 - Natalie Davis
Women tend not to like Rush? News to me; I've been a fan since discovering the band in '79. Long live geek bands! Some of Peart's lyrical constructions indeed are a tad clumsy, but he discusses ideas and issues. That, IMO, is a good thing. ("Nobody's Hero" is proof that they all can't be gems, but bravo to Neal Peart for the attempt.) Same for many of the artists damned as being "pretentious." Sex and partying and cars get old after a while; sometimes it is good to listen to music that makes one think about weighty topics or imagine other worlds.
41 - Tom Johnson
Uh, Robert, you're pretty much making my point for me. You're talking about lyrics in a song that's nearly 30 years old. One example from a period that I specifically mentioned was a period that Rush has moved on from, and exactly what I said about not paying attention to anything the band has done post-1978, when they pretty much entirely shed the prog-rock lyrics altogether. In their defense, I would advise you to compare their lyrics to other prog-based lyrics of the time. You can't just compare these lyrics to those of any other music out there. That's like comparing Rembrandt to Pollack - there's nothing to compare. Why not look at something more "recent," say "Anagram (for Mongo)" from 1989's magnificent Presto?
There's a snake coming out of the darkness
Parade from paradise
End the need for eden
Chase the dreams of merchandise
There is tic and toc in atomic
Leaders make a deal
The cosmic is largely comic
A con they couldn't conceal
There is no safe seat at the feast
Take your best stab at the beast
The night is turning thin
The saint is turning to sin
Raise the art to resistance
Danger dare to be grand
Pride reduced to humble pie
Diamonds down to sand
Take heart from earth and weather
The brightness of new birth
Take heart from the harvest
Shave the harvest from the earth
Reasoning is partly insane
Image just an eyeless game
The night is turning thin
The saint is turning to sin
Miracles will have their claimers
More will bow to Rome
He and she are in the house
But there's only me at home
Rose is a rose of splendor
Posed to respond in the end
Lonely things like nights,
I find, end finer with a friend
I hear in the rate of her heart
A tear in the heat of the art
The night turns thin
The saint turns to sin
Pretty clever and interesting, huh? Not necessarily a story, but the concept behind the song outweighs its need to "mean something": each line is composed of anagrams, as the title suggests.
Like I said, you're focusing on one small period of the band and have ignored the majority of their career. You're using 5 years to represent a 30+ year career. That's disingenuous, plain and simple. You're looking for an easy target, and that's cheap. Why don't you check out the lyrics from their last album, Vapor Trails? I highly doubt you'll be able to make the claims you've been making just by looking at this one album. Or MOST of their albums. Get past the prog and you'll find the band had pretty strong lyrics, with the occasional dud - I dare you to find any lyricist who doesn't occasionally come up with those.
42 - Duane
Robert, I will counter with
"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."
and
"You know how that rabbit feels
Going under your speeding wheels
Bright images flashing by
Like windshields towards a fly
Frozen in the fatal climb
But the wheels of time
Just pass you by
Wheels can take you around
Wheels can cut you down
We can go from boom to bust
From dreams to a bowl of dust
We can fall from rockets' red glare
Down to "Brother can you spare..."
Another war
Another wasteland
And another lost generation."
Faulkner? No, but still, that's some good shit compared to, say,
"No stop signs, speed limit
Nobody's gonna slow me down
Like a wheel, gonna spin it
Nobody's gonna mess me round
Hey Satan, payed my dues
Playing in a rocking band
Hey Momma, look at me
I'm on my way to the promised land
I'm on the highway to hell
(Don't stop me)"
43 - Robert
I could have pulled tacky, pretentious lyrics from any Rush album,
READ: Vapor Tails
"Stratospheric traces of our transitory flight Trails of condensation..."
Sorry, but, it just doesn't get much tackier.
Don't get me wrong, I love Rush. Moving Pictures was the first album I ever bought. And no one debates Neil is the best Rock drummer on the plantet, he has been for a long time.
And I appreciate his willingness to go for it lyrically, eveb though he fails SO horribly 80% of the time.
My idea of good lyric?:
- Tom Waits
- Camper Van Beethoven
- Leonard Cohen
- Bob Dylan
A good start.
44 - Robert
I will give you "Subdivisions".
I am not saying everything he wrote sucks. Just a majority of it.
He did very well with "Subdivisions". Good imagery, without the hokey, self-important gibberish.
Some friends of mine actually jokingly say "OK, Mr. Peart" when one of us tries to use words not in our regular vocabulary to sound intelligent, when in fact we sound bombastic.
45 - Duane
Oooh, there's that p word again. OK, Robert, I see that you're not one of those evil Rush haters. You can't be all bad (hehe).
So, Tom Waits, huh? Problem there is that I can't listen to that kind of stuff. Dylan. Gagola. I'd rather listen to Geddy clearing phlegm than to Dylan. No offense. There has to be some interesting music. Lyrics can't carry a song, but good music can, even if the lyrics stink.
46 - Robert
QUOTE: "Lyrics can't carry a song, but good music can, even if the lyrics stink."
I agree.
When you have a song with both however, you have art.
47 - Natalie Davis
What's wrong with wanting to use as much of the language as possible? Gosh, the snobbery.
Whatever -- album covers!
48 - Robert
QUOTE: "What's wrong with wanting to use as much of the language as possible?"
Absolutely nothing, but do it well before you do it publically.
49 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Duane!! what music can be more interesting than Desolation Row or Highway 61 Revisited or, god in heaven, Shelter From The Storm!?
mind you, i fall firmly within the lyrics are the dominant force camp. bad lyrics will make a song totally unlistenable to me. this is why i can't enjoy Riders On The Storm, for one thing.
but thats another list...
in saying that, mind, the lyrics thing only works for me when the music is pleasant to mine ears also. so who knows??
50 - Natalie Davis
Great advice.
51 - Robert
Hey,
What is everyones FAVORITE album cover?
If I had to choose, I would say mine is Neutral Milk Hotel's "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea"
52 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Get Over It OST
53 - Duane
Duke, well I guess that puts us on opposite ends of the spectrum. Which is fine. It likely goes back to our respective childhoods. I got my first radio in the early 60s (yeah, I'm an old fart) and remember loving early Stones and Beatles, and playing air drums to Steppenwolf, and sort of hearing the lyrics but not really understanding all of what they were saying, and it didn't matter. "Here she comes now, say Mony, Mony..." Yeah, whatever, man. A few years later, when I heard Cream jamming away, well, that was the good stuff to me. And while the lyrics to White Room are able to do some conjuring, for the most part, Cream were jammers, and that's what mattered to me. I usually don't even pay attention to the lyrics til I've listened to a song several times over, and it usually doesn't matter. I suppose I have been deprived of some excellent poetry and messages, but I'm a sucker for a nice guitar solo played over two chords that vary by a step, or a growly bass line, or a tasty key change, or syncopation that gets my head bobbing, or a long, patient intro (Crazy Diamond, say).
54 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Duane, that makes all the sense in the world. an now that i think about it, plenty of my favourite songs don't have especialyl glorious lyrics. at the minute, the most played song in the house de duke is fuck forever by babyshambles, and whilst Pete Doherty is a truly talent poet (so much so that the government saw fit to send him off to Russia for a time on the back of his poetry, i believe), that track is nothin but a brilliant defiant slab of chunking and churning and screaming. so i dunno what my stance is. certainly i pay attention to the lyrics, and i'd rather hear 43 verses written wonderfully than a two minute long guitar solo. hmm... i must think on this at length
55 - Pantagruel
"Xanadu ---- held within the pleasure dome
Decreed by kubla khan
To taste my bitter triumph
As a mad immortal man
Nevermore shall I return
Escape these caves of ice
For I have dined on honey dew
And drunk the milk of paradise
More than paradise"
Neil Peart
56 - Pantagruel
In the badness battle between Prince and Micheal Jackson, Prince still won...
hard to beleive
57 - crooked spine
I submit the following for worst popular album covers:
A Quick One by the Who. I love the Who, but this album cover is just dorky. Did they really think it would be cool to have song titles floating out of their instruments like that?
Tuesday Night Music Club by Sheryl Crow. I think Sheryl's a beautiful woman, but the spelling-her-name-out-in-blocks idea was a bad one.
Revolver by the Beatles. This one is hard for me, because in my opinion this is the best album released by the most important rock band of all time. If I was sentenced to a deserted island and was allowed to take only one CD, this would probably be it. But I've always found the cover art to be incredibly amateurish.
58 - Natalie Davis
One of my favorites, I am ashamed to confess, is Rick Springfield's Working Class Dog. The music is useless, but oh, the photo on the cover still reduces me to laughter and tears every time I see it.
59 - Pantagruel
"Well alright.
Starchild
Citizens of the Universe
We have returned to claim the pyramid
Partyin' on the mothership
I am the mothership connection
get down in 3-D
light year groove"
George Clinton
"Mothership Connection"
60 - Robert
I think I have the next community list.
"Worst Lyrics"
61 - Pantagruel
That would be a great one. But so many to choose from..
62 - Michael J. West
Well, as mentioned, Robert, fave album cover is the herein-maligned Their Satanic Majesties Request. Runner-up is probably the cover of Elvis' first album, the aptly named Elvis Presley. If there's another album cover that better captures the primal, spontaneous energy of early rock & roll, I haven't seen it.
63 - Michael J. West
Worst lyrics? I know it's a cliche in such matters, but can it POSSIBLY get worse than
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I could take it
Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh noooooo....
64 - Pantagruel
I always liked the Santana Abraxas album cover. It used to scare to crap out of me as a child.
65 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
regarding best covers- Never Mind The Bollocks is just a damn well wonderful cover. not as good as the Get Over It soundtrack, but wonderful nonetheless.
66 - drake
Favorite album cover? First one that comes to mind is Dinosaur Jr.'s Green Mind
Even after days of research, it might still be that one, though...
67 - drake
Shellac's Terraform is pretty cool as well...
68 - Tom Johnson
I think I have the next community list. "Worst Lyrics"
Here's one of those times when I wish Blogcritics had a killfile. I know you'll dedicate most of the list to Rush, and you'll throw the word "pretentious" around as much as you can. And I also know you'll focus on the early period of the band, painting with that broad-brush that you wield so well. Well, I hope it makes you feel superior. Because it sure as hell makes you look pretty damned childish.
Of all the extremely awful lyricists in the world that get held up as something meaningful, you pick on Peart, whose lyrics may not be Dylan or Costello or Waits, but they're solid grammatically and thematically, generally have good flow and rhyme-schemes, and do something different than most of the lyricist out there try to do. It just makes you look like an opportunistic provoker - now you know this is one of those hot-button issues for real fans, and this makes you feel real superior. Look at your responses to those of us who've supported Rush and Peart. Every chance you've gotten you make a nasty little dig. That's childish. An adult would have just said "not my kind of thing," and might have even been big enough to actually say he's a decent lyricist. Because he is, and you know it. In the entire spectrum of music, you have to admit that he's better than an incredibly large portion of them out there. He's better than most of what makes it on the radio. He's better than most of what doesn't make in on the radio. No, he's never going to be Dylan /et al, but he doesn't need to be. Rush is a rock band, and for a rock band, Peart's lyrics are pretty damned impressive. And here's the thing that really gets me: you talking about how "bad" Peart's lyrics are do exactly what you accuse him of - sounding pretentious.
69 - Robert
Tom,
1. If we did a "Bad Lyrics" list the whole list would not be Rush, I would only contribute 1 song and it might not even be a Peart lyric.
2. I don't concentrate on one 5 year period. I also quoted horrible lyrics from "vapor Trails" and could point out pathetic Peart lyrics from any album they have released. His hokiness trancends time.
3. I aree with you that Neil Peart lyrics ARE better than most of the crap on the radio today, but that does't make all his lyrics "good"
4. It doesn't make me feel superior to share my opinion on Neil Peart's lyrics. In fact, it botherss me to do so, because I love the band. Are you saying that people should keep their opinions to themselves? If you are, you might not want to visit an opinion site like Blogcritics.
5. I was big enough to give credit where it was due, maybe you should read my above comments where I praised his drumming and even some of his lyrics.
"I am not saying everything he wrote sucks. Just a majority of it.
He did very well with "Subdivisions". Good imagery, without the hokey, self-important gibberish."
70 - Mark Saleski
you all should read one of Peart's books to see where he's coming from.
he's far more down to earth than people give him credit for.
71 - Rodney Welch
A great song that's great not in spite of, but because of, "bad" lyrics: "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen.
72 - Robert
I do want to read his book. I keep meaning to pick it up, but just haven;t yet. I know he went through hell when he lost both his wife and daughter within the same year.
All I know is that he got on a motorcycle and traveled without any place to go and that the book is the memoirs of this trip.
It's called "Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road"
73 - Robert
I am not familiar with his other books.
74 - Mark Saleski
in order of publication:
-The Masked Rider: Cycling in West Africa
-Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road
-Traveling Music: Playing Back the Soundtrack to My Life and Times
all pretty interesting. man the crap he went through (and wrote about)...Ghost Rider is pretty inspiring.
75 - JR
Quit obsessing over Rush's lyrics. Everyone knows the Scorpions wrote the worst lyrics.
But we love them anyway.