Worst Popular Album Covers... Ever - Comments Page 2

The absolute worst popular album covers as chosen by the music bloggosphere.

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  • 26 - Randy P/Tube Pinoy

    Jul 14, 2005 at 2:47 pm

    We're lucky they limited this to "popular" album covers (although I don't know anyone who bought "Dirty Work"). The non popular album covers are more interesting and worse.

  • 27 - Michael J. West

    Jul 14, 2005 at 2:50 pm

    I agree that Prince's cover has the look of a John Holmes movie poster--or one of the actors in the "Let's Get Physical" video. But I thought For You was a worse cover...with that huge 'fro and the blurring to Prince's right side, he looks like he's coming out of hyperdrive to pose for the cover.

  • 28 - Mike

    Jul 14, 2005 at 2:51 pm

    BTW, I never thought Rush was a particularly DUDE band, but it has been pointed out to me that they're a particularly GEEK band...

  • 29 - Rodney Welch

    Jul 14, 2005 at 3:00 pm

    Randy -- I bought Dirty Work. Good one for the underrated file, the title cut being a nice jab at Reagan that also works amazingly well with President SwiftBoat.

  • 30 - Sterfish

    Jul 14, 2005 at 3:37 pm

    I had forgotten how bad that Prince cover was. My dad has that on vinyl and it's always been an unusual one. I usually like Funkadelic/Parliament's covers, but I have to agree that the One Nation Under A Groove cover is probably the worst one.

    One cover I think should've been included is Michael Jackson's Invincible. The extreme closeup on his face is probably the real reason why it didn't sell as well as previous albums.

  • 31 - Jeff

    Jul 14, 2005 at 4:40 pm

    that Rolling Stones cover is pretty awful - good list!

  • 32 - Amanda

    Jul 14, 2005 at 5:32 pm

    Just read thru all the comments completely - good work guys. There is some excellent writing here and I laughed out loud several times!

    Michael J., it was totally a toss-up as to which Prince cover I would pick, it was either the one you mentioned, the one where he's all naked and stuff or "Prince." I think the one I picked has the right level of creepiness to push it over the edge.

  • 33 - Tom Johnson

    Jul 14, 2005 at 5:48 pm

    Mike, Rush is indeed pretty much a "geek" band and I'm pretty proud to align myself with them.

    As for lyrics, that's a personal-taste issue, I guess. He seems to turn off people who only want to hear about love, or women, whatever - cliches, generally. I'd rather hear Peart's non-lovesong, non-women-oriented thoughts than pretty much every other song-writer out there - Elvis Costello, Aimee Mann, and a few others obviously excepted. As I've said before, you don't have to like Peart's lyrics, but to actually write them off as "bad" reveals that you probably aren't really paying much attention, or maybe haven't actually listened to the band's post-1978 material. His songwriting is simply not for everybody - it can be "cold" and impersonal, but it's intelligent. I have no problem with people disliking the lyrics because they're cold, and even welcome it. At least they're different. Not only that, but his three books are quite well written - he's no Hemingway, but he certainly has a way with words. As the Library Journal says of his latest book, Traveling Music, "Peart's writing is lyrical and his tale poignant, fully capturing an extraordinary journey, both as a travel adventure and as memoir."

    I could sit back and jokingly go along with the naysayers, but I'm just tired of it. It's just so damned hypocritical to knock Rush for their lyrics and then see all this praise heaped all over pure drivel like Coldplay.

  • 34 - Duane

    Jul 14, 2005 at 6:02 pm

    Well said, Tom. It's all too easy to criticize musicians when they are caught trying to extend themselves. The common criticism is that they are "pretentious." I never understood this. I like pretentious musicians. There's this idea that rock music has to be gut level only, and that it shouldn't appeal to our minds. That kind of stuff is fine -- I like Prince too -- but hats off to Peart for not playing by the rules.

  • 35 - drake

    Jul 14, 2005 at 6:12 pm

    Regardless of whether you like Neil Peart's lyrics, I think we can all agree they're better then Geddy Lee's attempts.

  • 36 - Duane

    Jul 14, 2005 at 6:25 pm

    One thing about Peart's lyrics that I will concede is that sometimes they are awkward in the context of the harmonic and melodic structure. In a finely-crafted song, the lyrics should not stick out like sore thumbs, and sometimes they do. Like, say

    "I knew he was different in his sexuality
    I went to his parties as a straight minority."

    When I listen to that song (Nobody's Hero), the words don't really mesh well into the music. Maybe it's just me.

    And Rush has some fine album covers, by the way, in spite of that ridiculous Hemispheres cover.

  • 37 - Tom Johnson

    Jul 14, 2005 at 6:40 pm

    Drake, have you heard Geddy's solo album that came out in 2000? He's picked up a lot from 25 years with Peart. The lyrics are a hell of a lot better than "Cinderella Man" and the self-titled Rush album. And, musically, it's pretty damned good, too - it soars where Test for Echo stumbled.

    Duane: "Nobody's Hero" is definitely not a good example of Peart's abilities. A noble attempt at an "issue" song, but the outcome was not a great result.

  • 38 - Robert

    Jul 14, 2005 at 6:41 pm

    It have nothing to do with Neil's lyrics not being "about love, or women"

    Neil Peart is just an over-the-top, horrible lyricist.

    "I stand atop a spiral stair
    An oracle confronts me there
    He leads me on light years away
    Through astral nights, galactic days"

    "Through the void
    To be destroyed
    Or is there something more?
    Atomized ---- at the core
    Or through the Astral Door ----
    To soar...."


    Case closed

  • 39 - Al Barger

    Jul 14, 2005 at 6:48 pm

    I'll just say that I very much LIKE the cover of Their Satanic Majesties Request. The artwork reflects the title, which makes it not quite the hippy-dippy thing you imagine.

  • 40 - Natalie Davis

    Jul 14, 2005 at 7:03 pm

    Women tend not to like Rush? News to me; I've been a fan since discovering the band in '79. Long live geek bands! Some of Peart's lyrical constructions indeed are a tad clumsy, but he discusses ideas and issues. That, IMO, is a good thing. ("Nobody's Hero" is proof that they all can't be gems, but bravo to Neal Peart for the attempt.) Same for many of the artists damned as being "pretentious." Sex and partying and cars get old after a while; sometimes it is good to listen to music that makes one think about weighty topics or imagine other worlds.

  • 41 - Tom Johnson

    Jul 14, 2005 at 7:07 pm

    Uh, Robert, you're pretty much making my point for me. You're talking about lyrics in a song that's nearly 30 years old. One example from a period that I specifically mentioned was a period that Rush has moved on from, and exactly what I said about not paying attention to anything the band has done post-1978, when they pretty much entirely shed the prog-rock lyrics altogether. In their defense, I would advise you to compare their lyrics to other prog-based lyrics of the time. You can't just compare these lyrics to those of any other music out there. That's like comparing Rembrandt to Pollack - there's nothing to compare. Why not look at something more "recent," say "Anagram (for Mongo)" from 1989's magnificent Presto?

    There's a snake coming out of the darkness
    Parade from paradise
    End the need for eden
    Chase the dreams of merchandise
    There is tic and toc in atomic
    Leaders make a deal
    The cosmic is largely comic
    A con they couldn't conceal
    There is no safe seat at the feast
    Take your best stab at the beast
    The night is turning thin
    The saint is turning to sin
    Raise the art to resistance
    Danger dare to be grand
    Pride reduced to humble pie
    Diamonds down to sand
    Take heart from earth and weather
    The brightness of new birth
    Take heart from the harvest
    Shave the harvest from the earth
    Reasoning is partly insane
    Image just an eyeless game
    The night is turning thin
    The saint is turning to sin
    Miracles will have their claimers
    More will bow to Rome
    He and she are in the house
    But there's only me at home
    Rose is a rose of splendor
    Posed to respond in the end
    Lonely things like nights,
    I find, end finer with a friend
    I hear in the rate of her heart
    A tear in the heat of the art
    The night turns thin
    The saint turns to sin

    Pretty clever and interesting, huh? Not necessarily a story, but the concept behind the song outweighs its need to "mean something": each line is composed of anagrams, as the title suggests.

    Like I said, you're focusing on one small period of the band and have ignored the majority of their career. You're using 5 years to represent a 30+ year career. That's disingenuous, plain and simple. You're looking for an easy target, and that's cheap. Why don't you check out the lyrics from their last album, Vapor Trails? I highly doubt you'll be able to make the claims you've been making just by looking at this one album. Or MOST of their albums. Get past the prog and you'll find the band had pretty strong lyrics, with the occasional dud - I dare you to find any lyricist who doesn't occasionally come up with those.

  • 42 - Duane

    Jul 14, 2005 at 7:11 pm

    Robert, I will counter with

    "Some will sell their dreams for small desires
    Or lose the race to rats
    Get caught in ticking traps
    And start to dream of somewhere
    To relax their restless flight
    Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

    and

    "You know how that rabbit feels
    Going under your speeding wheels
    Bright images flashing by
    Like windshields towards a fly
    Frozen in the fatal climb
    But the wheels of time
    Just pass you by
    Wheels can take you around
    Wheels can cut you down
    We can go from boom to bust
    From dreams to a bowl of dust
    We can fall from rockets' red glare
    Down to "Brother can you spare..."
    Another war
    Another wasteland
    And another lost generation."

    Faulkner? No, but still, that's some good shit compared to, say,

    "No stop signs, speed limit
    Nobody's gonna slow me down
    Like a wheel, gonna spin it
    Nobody's gonna mess me round
    Hey Satan, payed my dues
    Playing in a rocking band
    Hey Momma, look at me
    I'm on my way to the promised land

    I'm on the highway to hell
    (Don't stop me)"

  • 43 - Robert

    Jul 14, 2005 at 8:09 pm

    I could have pulled tacky, pretentious lyrics from any Rush album,

    READ: Vapor Tails

    "Stratospheric traces of our transitory flight Trails of condensation..."

    Sorry, but, it just doesn't get much tackier.

    Don't get me wrong, I love Rush. Moving Pictures was the first album I ever bought. And no one debates Neil is the best Rock drummer on the plantet, he has been for a long time.

    And I appreciate his willingness to go for it lyrically, eveb though he fails SO horribly 80% of the time.

    My idea of good lyric?:

    - Tom Waits
    - Camper Van Beethoven
    - Leonard Cohen
    - Bob Dylan

    A good start.

  • 44 - Robert

    Jul 14, 2005 at 8:14 pm

    I will give you "Subdivisions".

    I am not saying everything he wrote sucks. Just a majority of it.

    He did very well with "Subdivisions". Good imagery, without the hokey, self-important gibberish.

    Some friends of mine actually jokingly say "OK, Mr. Peart" when one of us tries to use words not in our regular vocabulary to sound intelligent, when in fact we sound bombastic.

  • 45 - Duane

    Jul 14, 2005 at 8:21 pm

    Oooh, there's that p word again. OK, Robert, I see that you're not one of those evil Rush haters. You can't be all bad (hehe).

    So, Tom Waits, huh? Problem there is that I can't listen to that kind of stuff. Dylan. Gagola. I'd rather listen to Geddy clearing phlegm than to Dylan. No offense. There has to be some interesting music. Lyrics can't carry a song, but good music can, even if the lyrics stink.

  • 46 - Robert

    Jul 14, 2005 at 8:27 pm

    QUOTE: "Lyrics can't carry a song, but good music can, even if the lyrics stink."

    I agree.

    When you have a song with both however, you have art.

  • 47 - Natalie Davis

    Jul 14, 2005 at 8:52 pm

    What's wrong with wanting to use as much of the language as possible? Gosh, the snobbery.

    Whatever -- album covers!

  • 48 - Robert

    Jul 14, 2005 at 8:56 pm

    QUOTE: "What's wrong with wanting to use as much of the language as possible?"

    Absolutely nothing, but do it well before you do it publically.

  • 49 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo

    Jul 14, 2005 at 8:59 pm

    Duane!! what music can be more interesting than Desolation Row or Highway 61 Revisited or, god in heaven, Shelter From The Storm!?

    mind you, i fall firmly within the lyrics are the dominant force camp. bad lyrics will make a song totally unlistenable to me. this is why i can't enjoy Riders On The Storm, for one thing.

    but thats another list...

    in saying that, mind, the lyrics thing only works for me when the music is pleasant to mine ears also. so who knows??

  • 50 - Natalie Davis

    Jul 14, 2005 at 9:00 pm

    Great advice.

  • 51 - Robert

    Jul 14, 2005 at 9:14 pm

    Hey,

    What is everyones FAVORITE album cover?

    If I had to choose, I would say mine is Neutral Milk Hotel's "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea"

  • 52 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo

    Jul 14, 2005 at 9:27 pm

    Get Over It OST

  • 53 - Duane

    Jul 14, 2005 at 9:28 pm

    Duke, well I guess that puts us on opposite ends of the spectrum. Which is fine. It likely goes back to our respective childhoods. I got my first radio in the early 60s (yeah, I'm an old fart) and remember loving early Stones and Beatles, and playing air drums to Steppenwolf, and sort of hearing the lyrics but not really understanding all of what they were saying, and it didn't matter. "Here she comes now, say Mony, Mony..." Yeah, whatever, man. A few years later, when I heard Cream jamming away, well, that was the good stuff to me. And while the lyrics to White Room are able to do some conjuring, for the most part, Cream were jammers, and that's what mattered to me. I usually don't even pay attention to the lyrics til I've listened to a song several times over, and it usually doesn't matter. I suppose I have been deprived of some excellent poetry and messages, but I'm a sucker for a nice guitar solo played over two chords that vary by a step, or a growly bass line, or a tasty key change, or syncopation that gets my head bobbing, or a long, patient intro (Crazy Diamond, say).

  • 54 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo

    Jul 14, 2005 at 9:44 pm

    Duane, that makes all the sense in the world. an now that i think about it, plenty of my favourite songs don't have especialyl glorious lyrics. at the minute, the most played song in the house de duke is fuck forever by babyshambles, and whilst Pete Doherty is a truly talent poet (so much so that the government saw fit to send him off to Russia for a time on the back of his poetry, i believe), that track is nothin but a brilliant defiant slab of chunking and churning and screaming. so i dunno what my stance is. certainly i pay attention to the lyrics, and i'd rather hear 43 verses written wonderfully than a two minute long guitar solo. hmm... i must think on this at length

  • 55 - Pantagruel

    Jul 14, 2005 at 10:00 pm

    "Xanadu ---- held within the pleasure dome
    Decreed by kubla khan
    To taste my bitter triumph
    As a mad immortal man
    Nevermore shall I return
    Escape these caves of ice
    For I have dined on honey dew
    And drunk the milk of paradise
    More than paradise"

    Neil Peart

  • 56 - Pantagruel

    Jul 14, 2005 at 10:27 pm

    In the badness battle between Prince and Micheal Jackson, Prince still won...

    hard to beleive

  • 57 - crooked spine

    Jul 14, 2005 at 10:37 pm

    I submit the following for worst popular album covers:

    A Quick One by the Who. I love the Who, but this album cover is just dorky. Did they really think it would be cool to have song titles floating out of their instruments like that?

    Tuesday Night Music Club by Sheryl Crow. I think Sheryl's a beautiful woman, but the spelling-her-name-out-in-blocks idea was a bad one.

    Revolver by the Beatles. This one is hard for me, because in my opinion this is the best album released by the most important rock band of all time. If I was sentenced to a deserted island and was allowed to take only one CD, this would probably be it. But I've always found the cover art to be incredibly amateurish.

  • 58 - Natalie Davis

    Jul 14, 2005 at 10:39 pm

    One of my favorites, I am ashamed to confess, is Rick Springfield's Working Class Dog. The music is useless, but oh, the photo on the cover still reduces me to laughter and tears every time I see it.

  • 59 - Pantagruel

    Jul 14, 2005 at 10:41 pm

    "Well alright.
    Starchild
    Citizens of the Universe
    We have returned to claim the pyramid
    Partyin' on the mothership
    I am the mothership connection
    get down in 3-D
    light year groove"


    George Clinton
    "Mothership Connection"

  • 60 - Robert

    Jul 14, 2005 at 10:42 pm

    I think I have the next community list.
    "Worst Lyrics"

  • 61 - Pantagruel

    Jul 14, 2005 at 10:50 pm

    That would be a great one. But so many to choose from..

  • 62 - Michael J. West

    Jul 14, 2005 at 11:04 pm

    Well, as mentioned, Robert, fave album cover is the herein-maligned Their Satanic Majesties Request. Runner-up is probably the cover of Elvis' first album, the aptly named Elvis Presley. If there's another album cover that better captures the primal, spontaneous energy of early rock & roll, I haven't seen it.

  • 63 - Michael J. West

    Jul 14, 2005 at 11:06 pm

    Worst lyrics? I know it's a cliche in such matters, but can it POSSIBLY get worse than

    Someone left the cake out in the rain
    I don't think that I could take it
    Cause it took so long to bake it
    And I'll never have that recipe again
    Oh noooooo....

  • 64 - Pantagruel

    Jul 14, 2005 at 11:19 pm

    I always liked the Santana Abraxas album cover. It used to scare to crap out of me as a child.

  • 65 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo

    Jul 14, 2005 at 11:21 pm

    regarding best covers- Never Mind The Bollocks is just a damn well wonderful cover. not as good as the Get Over It soundtrack, but wonderful nonetheless.

  • 66 - drake

    Jul 15, 2005 at 12:05 am

    Favorite album cover? First one that comes to mind is Dinosaur Jr.'s Green Mind

    Even after days of research, it might still be that one, though...

  • 67 - drake

    Jul 15, 2005 at 12:07 am

    Shellac's Terraform is pretty cool as well...

  • 68 - Tom Johnson

    Jul 15, 2005 at 1:52 am

    I think I have the next community list. "Worst Lyrics"

    Here's one of those times when I wish Blogcritics had a killfile. I know you'll dedicate most of the list to Rush, and you'll throw the word "pretentious" around as much as you can. And I also know you'll focus on the early period of the band, painting with that broad-brush that you wield so well. Well, I hope it makes you feel superior. Because it sure as hell makes you look pretty damned childish.

    Of all the extremely awful lyricists in the world that get held up as something meaningful, you pick on Peart, whose lyrics may not be Dylan or Costello or Waits, but they're solid grammatically and thematically, generally have good flow and rhyme-schemes, and do something different than most of the lyricist out there try to do. It just makes you look like an opportunistic provoker - now you know this is one of those hot-button issues for real fans, and this makes you feel real superior. Look at your responses to those of us who've supported Rush and Peart. Every chance you've gotten you make a nasty little dig. That's childish. An adult would have just said "not my kind of thing," and might have even been big enough to actually say he's a decent lyricist. Because he is, and you know it. In the entire spectrum of music, you have to admit that he's better than an incredibly large portion of them out there. He's better than most of what makes it on the radio. He's better than most of what doesn't make in on the radio. No, he's never going to be Dylan /et al, but he doesn't need to be. Rush is a rock band, and for a rock band, Peart's lyrics are pretty damned impressive. And here's the thing that really gets me: you talking about how "bad" Peart's lyrics are do exactly what you accuse him of - sounding pretentious.

  • 69 - Robert

    Jul 15, 2005 at 8:04 am

    Tom,

    1. If we did a "Bad Lyrics" list the whole list would not be Rush, I would only contribute 1 song and it might not even be a Peart lyric.


    2. I don't concentrate on one 5 year period. I also quoted horrible lyrics from "vapor Trails" and could point out pathetic Peart lyrics from any album they have released. His hokiness trancends time.

    3. I aree with you that Neil Peart lyrics ARE better than most of the crap on the radio today, but that does't make all his lyrics "good"

    4. It doesn't make me feel superior to share my opinion on Neil Peart's lyrics. In fact, it botherss me to do so, because I love the band. Are you saying that people should keep their opinions to themselves? If you are, you might not want to visit an opinion site like Blogcritics.

    5. I was big enough to give credit where it was due, maybe you should read my above comments where I praised his drumming and even some of his lyrics.

    "I am not saying everything he wrote sucks. Just a majority of it.
    He did very well with "Subdivisions". Good imagery, without the hokey, self-important gibberish."

  • 70 - Mark Saleski

    Jul 15, 2005 at 10:00 am

    you all should read one of Peart's books to see where he's coming from.

    he's far more down to earth than people give him credit for.

  • 71 - Rodney Welch

    Jul 15, 2005 at 10:06 am

    A great song that's great not in spite of, but because of, "bad" lyrics: "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen.

  • 72 - Robert

    Jul 15, 2005 at 10:09 am

    I do want to read his book. I keep meaning to pick it up, but just haven;t yet. I know he went through hell when he lost both his wife and daughter within the same year.
    All I know is that he got on a motorcycle and traveled without any place to go and that the book is the memoirs of this trip.

    It's called "Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road"

  • 73 - Robert

    Jul 15, 2005 at 10:11 am

    I am not familiar with his other books.

  • 74 - Mark Saleski

    Jul 15, 2005 at 10:18 am

    in order of publication:

    -The Masked Rider: Cycling in West Africa
    -Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road
    -Traveling Music: Playing Back the Soundtrack to My Life and Times

    all pretty interesting. man the crap he went through (and wrote about)...Ghost Rider is pretty inspiring.

  • 75 - JR

    Jul 15, 2005 at 11:15 am

    Quit obsessing over Rush's lyrics. Everyone knows the Scorpions wrote the worst lyrics.

    But we love them anyway.

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