Crimson & Clover
Original Artist: Tommy James and the Shondells Crimson & Clover (1969)
Cover Artist: Joan Jett & The Blackhearts I Love Rock 'n Roll (1982)
The haunting, tremolo-laced 1969 original seems like an odd choice for treatment by Joan Jett, until one discovers that the Shondells' keyboard player worked with Joan Jett since the beginning of her solo career. Distorted guitars substitute for the original instrumentation, destroying the very vibe that makes the Tommy James original so appealing. This, however, did not stop Ms. Jett’s version from reaching the Top Ten. The original peaked at Number One.
Paul Dobry:
Madonna "American Pie" (Don Mclean)
Before Madge was British she felt justified in taking on this slice of Americana. While crappy canned beats may have started in America ,hearing any reference to a Chevy over top of them gives you that orange juice after you brushed your teeth feeling.
Rufus Wainwright "Hallelujah" (Leonard Cohen)
This cringe inducer almost ruined "Shrek" for me. Not only is this a feeble cover of Buckley's cover, but Wainwright abandons the poetic license meant for the rhyme. He sings "... how to shoot somebody that out drew you." rather than "... that out drew ya." Making the title seem out of place.
The Scissor Sisters "Comfortably Numb" (Pink Floyd)
You have to really hate a song to cover it the way The Scissor Sisters cover "Comfortably Numb." The song is just recognizable enough to infuriate any one who has ever heard a guitar. A disco beats and trill vocals have no place, well anywhere really but giving that treatment to such a well crafted classic rock standard constitutes fightin' words. A bad Gap ad waiting to happen.
The Presidents of the United States of America,
"Video Killed the Radiostar" (The Buggles)
This cover isn't even good enough to warrant biting witty criticism, so instead you get puns. Man this cover is so bad these guys should be impeached. They should be
called the Commanders in Grief. I hope they get assassinated (okay that one isn't so much a pun as just a statement.)
George Thorogood "One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer" (John Lee Hooker)
Thorogood has built a pretty successful career on ruining good Country and Blues
songs with corporate rock gloss. He turns this down-on-you-luck story of heartbreak into a chant for balding men reuniting with their old "frat bros."
Phil Collins "Tomorrow Never Knows" (The Beatles)
It's real easy to poke fun at Phil Collins. Some may think he is an unfairly easy target. I happen to love Phil Collins, and air drum with my entire soul to "In
the Air Tonight." It's sad that this cover is forced onto the same album as such a schlocky masterpiece. It's like Hinduism stripped of soul and mysticism.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Aaman
How about Jackie Chan and Ani DiFranco doing "Unforgettable"?
2 - Jeff Davidson
I haven't heard that one, but it sounds like a "winner"!
3 - Barry Stoller
Hey, nothing more fun than tearing apart the losers and cover songs is an easy mark. Not bad, a few chuckles but ya blew it right at the end - ELP's total demolition of classical music on the undeniably rockin' "Nut rocker" was intentional, thus successful. It was the zenith of the generation gap, maybe ya had to be there.(Also, "Nutrocker" was a cover of the Kim Fowley's 1961 classic.)
4 - Chris Beaumont
Mariah Carey: Bringin' on the Heartbreak
Ugh.
5 - Jeff Davidson
yeah, that's pretty bad too.
6 - Eric Berlin
I disagree with a number of these selections, particularly regarding The Scissor Sisters (which may be one of the GREAT covers of all time) and Thorogood, who is just plain old fun on whatever he does.
My vote for worst cover of Dancin' in the Streets ever: David Bowie and Mick Jagger, mid-80s style. Throw in the video if you really want to cringe.
7 - Tom Johnson
Rufus Wainwright "Hallelujah" (Leonard Cohen)
This cringe inducer almost ruined "Shrek" for me.
In the film, "Hallelujah" is NOT sung by Wainwright but by John Cale. The soundtrack has the Wainwright version. Wainwright's version may not be up to the standard set by Jeff Buckley's stunning take on Grace, but if you actually think Wainwright's version is bad, then I fear hearing what you do think is good.
8 - Paul Dobry
I am ofcourse not asking anyone to agree with my selections. If for example you managed to find something likeable in the Scissor Sisters' cover of "Comfortably Numb" please see Earvolution's list of Best Covers where a fellow writer lists that as a favorite.
I am aware that Wainright had the version on the soundtrack and not in the film. For the record, yes I actually think Wainright's version is awful, it was hard to chose between that and his dreadful "Across the Universe."
These lists are purely meant for fun, and anything under my name reflects my opinion. They are not meant to be definitive lists that all can get behind.
9 - Andrew Ian Dodge
That crappy rap version of 'Cold As Ice' originally covered by Foreigner.
10 - david mazzotta
How could you miss Blinded by the Light? A transcendently joyous early Springsteen tune that Manfred Mann turned into a song about a feminine hygeine product.
11 - Eric Berlin
Is there anything not crappy about Foreigner?
What do y'all Shrek fans think of the Cale version? I kind of like it.
12 - Sunny
Whoever that chick was that tried to do "Boys of Summer" a couple of years ago; that was just horrible.
13 - Tan The Man
Yeah, Sheryl Crow's version of "First Cut" is pretty bad.
14 - Randy P/Tube Pinoy
Lance's girl is on here too many times. She needs to really stop doing covers.
15 - Mark Sahm
311 did a cover of the Cure's "Love Song" a year or two ago that made me cringe everytime I heard it.
16 - godoggo
No contest: U2 doing "I've Got You Under My Skin."
17 - Tim Jarrett
Actually, I think the Bono and Frank Sinatra version of "I've Got You (Under My Skin)" isn't bad. I'm unaware of a full band version of that tune...
Their version of another Cole Porter tune, "Night and Day," is another story. They hadn't quite mastered all the club influences they were absorbing while putting together Achtung Baby and the orchestral blasts plus Bono's falsetto are pretty cringeworthy. Nice drums from Larry on that cut, though.
And regarding the question from Eric Berlin about Cale's cover of "Hallelujah," I've always loved it. It was a great closer to the I'm Your Fan tribute album, and its influence on Jeff Buckley's version is pretty darned clear. That said, I'm not sure it needs to be used for every movie or TV show that has a sad scene, as I seem to see happening recently.
18 - Rob
How About:
Ozzy, "All the Young Dudes". I don't think he can sing anymore. Someone, please take him off studio life support and make him retire.
G&R, "Knocking on Heaven's Door". Annoying piece of crap.
Counting Crows, "Big Yellow Taxi". What a watered down muzak mess. We are now destined to hear this bland version in every Dentist's office and Elevator in North America. I really like this band; why did they do this??!!
Metallica, "Whiskey in The Jar". I could never understand why this song got so much radio play.
Motley Crue, "Smoking in The Boys Room". Didn't care much for the original either, but The Crue really turned it into cheese.
19 - Bryan Doe
I can add some truly awful (or maybe the misspelling "offal" might fit) cover versions:
War, "Nights in White Satin Suite": This was from their second album, way back in 1971, so it's much older than what was already listed here, but it's awful nonetheless, for no other reason than because Eric Burdon CANNOT SING.
SOS Band, "Who's Making Love": Johnny Taylor's original had a lesson to teach; the SOS Band had space to fill on their album. Nuff said.
Living Colour, "Talkin' Loud and Sayin' Nothing": I'm not sure which is worse, leaden rhythms or Corey Glover's tortured attempts at singing.
Then there are those "inspired-by" songs that are not actually covers, but plainly inspired by songs the artist wish they had the talent to cover, like "Stepping the Stones" by the SOS Band, who apparently had some "Beast of Burden"/Rolling Stones envy issues to work out; "Under a Nouveau Groove," by Club Nouveau, at the beginning of contempo R&B and hip-hop's infatuation with all things P-Funk...
I could go on and on, but I won't.
20 - dyrkness
Julie London doing "Yummy,Yummy,Yummy" by the Ohio Express.From the chanteuse who created "Cry Me a River"(incidently covered quite bizarrely by Joe Cocker)to a cover of a bubblegum novelty is in my opinion jaw-droppingly terrible.
21 - Paul Dobry
Yikes, I am kicking myself for not including that terrible "Big Yellow Taxi" that the Counting Crows did with Vanessa Carlton. While I was happy to forget it for a time it should be on my list.
22 - Adam
Something of an aside: regarding "Blinded By The Light": does Springsteen's version include, "Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun; but mama, that's where the fun is"? Regardless, I think this may be the single most comprehensive statement of rock 'n' roll ever made. Any thoughts?
23 - bhw
does Springsteen's version include, "Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun; but mama, that's where the fun is"?
Yep.
24 - Laura
Avril Lavigne's cover of "Chop Suey" originally done by System of a Down.
Jessica Simpson's cover of Nanci Sinatra's "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" - that's horrendeous.
AFI's cover of "Head like a Hole" (original by Nine Inch Nails) is pretty damn bad.
I agree that 311's version of "Love Song" is gag worthy.
Hilary Duff and Haylie Duff butchering "Our Lips are Sealed" by the Go-Gos and soon to be covering "Material Girl" in the future ... ack!
25 - Bob A. Booey
I have to stick up for my girl Sheryl. Her version of "First Cut is the Deepest" is way, way better than the original Cat Stevens version.
That is all.