The event didn't change my life the way it did the lives of Beatles fans. It didn't impact me in quite the same way as someone who was mourning Lennon the man, or the music he created. I mourned something else. I think up until that point, I still had a sense of innocence about me. I was still naive about the ways of the world. I was still all about peace and love and tranquillity. I assumed the rest of the world was too. I thought we could all live in harmony and love one another and make the world a better place for future generations.
Something happened to me the night John Lennon died. I lost a lot of that idealism. I couldn't get past the fact that someone who was so fervent about living peacefully could have his life taken from him in such a way. I couldn't fathom that something like this could happen. How did we let our world get to this point, that people could just walk around murdering one another?
It was then, that very night, that my eyes opened to a new vision of the world. When Lennon died, whatever was left of the peace movement died, too. I dropped my peace sign mentality some time after that. I gave up and gave in and became cynical like every grown-up I knew. It wasn't all because of Lennon; there were other things that lead up to it also. But the death of John Lennon - the murder of John Lennon - sure as hell played a very significant role in shaping my psyche for the rest of my life.
That, more than anything, is why I remember every little detail of that night. Somehow I knew, I felt it in my gut the moment I heard the news. I knew that I would never be the same again. I engraved that moment in my brain somewhere, marking it down as a "this day in history" of my meagre little life.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Eric Olsen
Very important Michele, thanks. I'm certain that aspects of what you relate were part of why I took it so hard as well. I was ahuge Beatles fan but not that big a Lennon fan until then.
2 - matt dennis
i think we should kill the man it doesnt make sense to keep nuts like him alive
3 - Dick
I hope and pray that Chapman dies a slow and painfull death-which he deserves and the sooner the better!
4 - Super G
chapman is the scuzz of the earth and we should allow cruel and unusual punishment just for him...
5 - nadim
that man should die a cruel death
6 - hhhhhggfghggh
haha
7 - markdavidchapman
hahahahahahahahahaha@! I'm crazy
8 - Greg
"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together", but this time not -- let Chapman rot.
9 - Natalie
You all mean well, no doubt, but Chapman is still a human being. Like it or not, I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. C'est la vie. Goo goo g'joob. I suspect Lennon would say the same.
I'm glad parole was denied. I'll never forget that fateful night in 1980 either or the pain it caused and causes still. And though George was my fave Beatle, John was a close second.
10 - Misty
I still remember the night Lennon died and it still hurts knowing that the person who did it is just a sick nut case that was jealous of him. Read the book "Let me take you down" and you might get a better understanding of how messed up this guy is and I hope he rots in hell for what he did!!!!!!!!!
11 - Jason
Just the other night I watched american justice on AE about the murder of John Lennon. It made me sick to my stomach. Mark Chapman got 20 yrs to life for the murder. I really don't know how much more of a premedatative murder you can get! He told his wife he was going to kill John Lennon and I guess she just ignored the fact that he was being serious. I guess it's wrong for me to say, but Chapmans wife is a dumb bitch. Anyway John Lennon to me was more than just a rock star he was a roll model. God Bless John Lennon. You know Mark David Chapman was a nobody untill he killed the biggest somebody on earth. He will meet his maker soon enough!!!!!!!
12 - Al Barger
Oo wee, Jason, I don't think you particularly want to hold John Lennon up as a "role model." I don't think he would have even wanted to be regarded as a role model. He was a pretty messed up dude. He was one of the greatest dozen or so singers and songwriters in the whole rock music tradition, but a lot of times he didn't act like he had sense to pound sand down a frickin' rat hole.
Which is not to say that he was not a fine fellow, but he didn't have half enough sense about him to take care even of himself half the time. Don't confuse musical ability with wisdom.
13 - Eric Olsen
Al, I would modify that with the fact that he seemed to change quite a bit, mature and gain some perspective the last five years of his life when he was Mr. Mom. I think he was a different person when he came out on the other end of that, and that is part of the cosmic irony of his ridiculous, untimely death.
14 - Al Barger
I'll give you that point, Eric. In the years after his death, I've taken comfort from thinking- largely on the basis of repeated listenings to Double Fantasy- that he went a long way toward straightening out his personal dysfunctions after Sean was born.
15 - Eric Olsen
exactly, part of the cause of the outpouring of grief when it happened - the timing couldn't have been worse
16 - JR
It's not clear that John Lennon's personal dysfunctions weren't largely a byproduct of his success. No doubt he had issues before he ever formed the Beatles, but a lot of his excesses were only possible because of the unusual circumstances of his success. Suppose Lennon had ended up a working stiff in Liverpool. Would he have drank a lot and beaten his wife? Good chance. Would he have gone on three-day LSD binges and gotten hooked on heroin? Unlikely. He would have had to develop enough sense to take care of himself. For all that he went through, Lennon comes across as a surviver. Well, except for that one crazed fan.
The fact that the Nixon administration (or J. Edgar Hoover) saw Lennon's ability to inspire the anti-war movement as such a threat that they tried to deport him says a lot about some of his other personal characteristics, over and above his musical ability. I'd say there was something worth aspiring to there. Nobody's perfect; in some respects John Lennon was far above average.
17 - Al Barger
In some aspects, Lennon was certainly FAR above average. In others, he was clearly seriously messed up. There's certainly much to learn, but you definitely need to be careful in picking his example apart to know which parts to emulate and what parts to avoid like the frickin' plague.
18 - Pedro Salgado
John Lennon changed my life. i have a strong identification with his music and his personality like many people around the world.
The man that killed him should be completely fogotten, no interviews, no pictures, etc, etc.
What should constantly be remembered is Lennon´s great talent for making timeless songs.
19 - SuppleTrey
One of the things that always bothered Lennon after the initial rush of Beatle success, was the fawning idolation that led to the remark that people treat the Beatles as if they were bigger than Christ. He always said he was frustrated by people believing the Beatles had some kind of inspired knowledge and enlightenment. He'd seen what a farce spiritual gurus were after the Maharishi trying to jump Mia Farrow at the Indian retreat in '68. Read the lyrics to Revolution and you'll see he was talking about using your common sense. One of the things he loved about NYC is that he could move around freely without the large retinue most muscians and actors seem to require. Sadly, one of life's losers came his way.
20 - Rod Rongstad
Its too easy to get drawn into the myth of John and Yoko that was a direct manipulation of the public ,through the media, for their own personal gain. All orchestrated by Yoko Ono. There was no Mr. Mom. Lennon continued drinking and drugging and was dying by his own hand. I would reccommend Goldbergs biography "The Lives Of John Lennon"
21 - Christina
Hi I'm doing a project on John Lennon and I need to get an interview with someone about it. I was wondering if you'd be interested in doing one through email?
22 - Robert J Gurzick
Because of bush and iraq, I have had many memories coming back to me. John Lennon was an instrument of peace. He was a human being; compassionate, energizing and dynamic. Right now we need more people with his vision of world peace. I do not think there is any punishment the world could do to mark david chapman that is servere enough for his crimes against us. Let the memory of John live by being an instrument of peace.
23 - edf
if he gets out , lets hang him
24 - Eric Olsen
where did the comments go?
25 - Beatlecollectors.com
It was 40 years ago John was tragically murdered and still affects many people in their daily lives. For the younger generations, all the magazines relating to John's death can be found at http://www.beatlecollectors.com