I don't think of myself as a savage beast, but there are times when the voices in my head cry out for the soothing music brings. Okay, so I don't really have voices in my head in the clinical sense but I think we all feel pulled in a million different directions at the same time more often than we wish. I don't know if it's like this for you but when I'm feeling especially fragmented it feels like every nerve in my body is raw and screaming. It's not uncommon to feel like I can actually hear these different stressors lecturing me about how I should be addressing their respective needs:
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You should be exercising
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Have you done the laundry?
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Call your mom
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You don't read enough. Didn't you just buy an expensive-ass Kindle?
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Your wife needs your help around the apartment
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Don't you think you're under your wife's feet enough?
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You have 1,100 CDs and you haven't listened to _________ in how long?
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Shouldn't you be writing something?
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Did you lock the car? The door? Your cabinets at work?
Now most of those things are pretty mundane. My life isn't nearly as full or stressful or important as anybody else's out there. I'm sure plenty of you are skimming my list laughing, wondering what on earth I'm rambling on about with that nonsense. My response is twofold. First, that's not the entire list at any given time. Second, you're right. What's more, I know all those things can be handled. They can't all be handled at once and when I start thinking about them all, I feel a little piece of myself yearning for some calm and quiet. I shut down and don't want to do any of it. I need something to shut all those 'voices' up, just for a little while. Eventually the list – your list, my list – is going to have to be tended to. It can't be ignored forever. It will catch up. Before that happens, sometimes you just need a breath.
Article comments
1 - Phillip Winn
I haven't listened to the original Master & Musician in ages, and I'm trying to remember if I've ever even heard Phantasmagorical all the way through. I've listened to a ton of Phil Keaggy (seriously, 2000 pounds at least!), but I may have completely missed this one!
I shall fix this, and soon. Thanks, Josh.
2 - Josh Hathaway
Thought of you when I published this, Phillip. I knew you were a fan. I have my 30th anniversary edition of M&M on the shelf but I have to confess to having listened to its "sequel" a fair number more times. I really love some of these songs and this is my favorite of the bunch. You definitely want to check this one out.