I started in the Pediatrics ICU with my niece and for the first time I was in the room when a doctor made rounds. I listened as she told my brother and his wife that she was encouraged by some of what she saw and felt my chest loosen. I then listened as she laid out a scenario wherein Katie would be in in-patient rehab in Birmingham, Nashville, or Atlanta anywhere from two, four, maybe even six weeks or beyond. My heart sank and shrank as something gripped it.
Feeling defeated, I headed in the direction of the ER to check with my brother-in-law and got the first and likely only "good" news of the day. The good news? The examination revealed it was unlikely he'd had a heart attack. The bad news? It was probably gall stones. Now when we talk about bad news, that's about the best bad news I'd heard in a week. Gall stones aren't pleasant but they're a lot less shitty than comas and heart attacks. I don't do well with math but I'm sure there is some sort of formula or equation where less shitty actually equals good. If only it had stopped there. For reasons of a sensitive nature I'm going to withhold the specifics and also ask you refrain from jumping to (political) conclusions when I say things took a sinister turn when the word "insurance" entered the picture.
The writer in me wants to search for some literary device to convey to you the depths of my despair and dramatically reveal how I'd never felt worse in my life. The truth is I was so beaten down at that point I don't know how low I'd sunk. I may have felt worse than I did Friday night. I can't remember when but it's entirely possible. The writer in me would also love to provide a dramatic reveal, but we're going to stick with the truth. Trust me, it's dramatic enough.
My wife woke me up the next morning to tell me Katie had woken up some time during the middle of the night. Those were the words I'd been waiting to hear for eight days, so naturally they pierced my haze and sent me scrambling to the car in my underwear moving heaven and earth to get to the hospital, right? As you can tell from the setup, obviously not. I checked my e-mail. I read the blog update from my brother, who started maintaining one because he had to leave his phone off so much of the time when he was in Katie's PICU room. I read the words that Katie was awake, alert, and responding but I guess I was waiting for the other shoe to drop because I ambled into the shower without feeling much of anything but fatigue.
Article comments
1 - Connie Phillips
Josh - I am so happy to hear your niece is well on the road to recovery. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
2 - Josh Hathaway
Thank you, Connie, and thanks for the expressions of support over the past several days. It's been grueling and exhausting but it has become quite uplifting these last two days. I wouldn't want to go through it all again but having experienced it, I do feel different.
3 - Jordan Richardson
Awesome news, man. And terrific song choice as well.
4 - Josh Hathaway
Thanks, Jordan, on both counts. We're feeling truly and profoundly blessed.
I love PJ's acoustic performance of this at Benaroya. Really cool version.
5 - Dawn
Oh Josh, I am so sorry I am just now reading this and so late to offer my prayers to sweet little Katie. I remember you talking about your rambunctious little niece and how much fun you had with your sisters kids.
I am so so so glad she's feeling better, I will add my chorus of prayers to many who are watching over her as she recovers.
Love you Josh. You know my digits if you need me.
6 - Love Handle Exercises
Hey Josh - It's amazing how surfing sometimes really gets you be surprise.
Your story was really sad and scary and in the end just wonderful.
I lost a dear friend when she was just 5 years old to cancer after her 3 year battle with the disease. No parent should outlive their kids and I was so happy to bump into your story tonight - it reminded me of my little friend, who died 11 months ago and while her courageous fight ultimately ended very differently, she too was a miracle and her memory will live on in her family and friends.
Thanks again for your story and for the reminder I needed tonight.
7 - Josh Hathaway
Thanks, Dawn (and everybody else!). Katie continues to make amazing progress. She has her first day of rehabilitation in Birmingham today and the doctors are confident she will make even greater strides during this time and should be home with us again soon.