"What came first: the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns and watching violent videos that some sort of cultural violence will take them over. No one worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, pain, rejection, suffering and misery. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable, or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"
I control my music. When I feel sad, I'll put on sad music. When I feel fast, I'll put on punk rock. When I feel Irish, I'll put on Irish Punk Rock. When I feel troubadorish, I put on Bob Dylan.
Rob Gordon in High Fidelity is absolutely correct: making a mix tape is very serious, and there are a lot of rules. I am currently working on several mix tapes; the two I am most excited about are the one for my funeral (God forbid I don't complete it on time!), and the soundtrack to my divorce. I submit my current Ultimate Divorce / Breakup Mix for consideration, criticism, and inquiries to further study. Please contribute if you have any feelings about this at all.
Song List, the order is important:
1. So Much For the Afterglow - Everclear
2. Positively Fourth Street - Bob Dylan
3. Don't Speak - No Doubt
4. Suitcase - Over the Rhine
5. So Cruel - U2
6. Positively Fourth Street - Violent Femmes (covering Bob Dylan)
7. Bad Diary Days - Pedro the Lion
8. Options - Pedro the Lion
9. Yesterday - The Beatles
10. Eleanor - Low Millions
11. All My Little Words - The Magnetic Fields
12. Now That It's Over - Everclear
13. Meaningless - The Magnetic Fields
14. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own - U2
15. Wild World - Cat Stevens
Please note this list will change and shake up right here. I do not intend to keep around debunked lists, this is striving for perfection in a divorce / breakup mix and we are not served by failing to abort unwanted byproducts.
I will, however, keep all explainations around.
1. Starting off with a Beach Boys whistle to promote the irony of the situation, and decending into characteristic Everclear alt-rock to express rage. So Much For the Afterglow is a song about Susan, about the way things were, and now that the honeymoon is over, so much for the afterglow.
Article comments
1 - Aaman
Interesting - are mixed moods typical of a breakup of this nature? Does the mind gyrate between hope and angst, sadness and anger?
Most importantly, does this playlist induce catharsis, as all art must?
Thanks for sharing this with us.
2 - bmarkey
My condolences/congratulations on your divorce (choose whichever is appropriate).
For those angry, "what the hell was I ever thinking" moments, nothing beats "H-A-T-R-E-D" by Tonio K. You can find it on the wonderful Life In The Foodchain" album.
If I may quote my favorite line;
Yes, I wish I was as mellow
As, for instance, Jackson Browne
But "Fountain of Sorrow" my ass, motherf***er,
I hope you wind up in the ground
Very cathartic.
3 - Eric Olsen
clearly not time for congratulations.
Very sorry Russell - this brought up bile and salt from my own 15 years ago and the lowest of the low emotional times of my life. So I can relate. It's pretty hard to comment on your choices since this is utterly personal in nature. Did you include any songs from within your relationship, songs you shared? I found those to be the most painful of all. Roxy's "Over You" was both from within and descriptive of the aftermath for me.
Best wishes
4 - Al Barger
Ah, so many choices. I could come up with a few hundred, but I'll try to restrain myself.
Of course, the appropriateness of the various options in the cornucopia of heartbreak songs depends on the exact flavor you want, which only you can determine.
Just as songs, I'm not real impressed with either of the U2 choices. How about "One" instead?
"Yesterday" may make general sense, but doesn't seem to be explicitly describing a breakup. Perhaps you might consider "My Brave Face" as a less obvious alternative.
Surely some Elvis Costello would be in order. Definitely consider "Either Side of the Same Town." For angry catharsis, "Lipstick Vogue" might be just the thing. Perhaps "The Only Flame in Town" would do if you want a little kiss-off gesture.
For a similarly themed kiss-off gesture, you could go in the way-back machine to Fats Waller explaining that "You're Not the Only Oyste in the Stew."
Again, depending on your mood, the aggresive manly defiance of Chuck Berry's "30 Days" or Richard and Linda Thompson's "Don't Renege on Our Love" might be in order.
Lastly, though, you really need some Hank. Perhaps "Your Cheating Heart" or "Cold, Cold Heart" would work.
5 - Russell Mann
To answer the questions that don't appear to be rhetorical:
"Did you include any songs from within your relationship, songs you shared?"
No, I wasn't looking for a way to remember the relationship, I was looking for a way to be pissed off.
"Just as songs, I'm not real impressed with either of the U2 choices. How about "One" instead?"
I always thought "One" was more of a together song than an apart song.
6 - bmarkey
clearly not time for congratulations.
I don't know Russell or his situation, although he seemed to be leaning toward the "pissed off" end of the spectrum (which he has since verified). I've known several folks for whom congratulations on their divorce were very much in order. So, I decided to cover all the bases. Russell, if I've offended you in any way, I certainly apologize.
7 - Al Barger
Some Guns N Roses would seem to be needed here. Does "I Used to Love Her" count as a breakup song?
Short of that, there's "November Rain" or the more pissy "You Could Be Mine."
8 - Lono
for U2 - Kite is a beautiful and sad song. especially if you have seen the live DVD version from Boston. That song just soars, and here is your official break up line - I want you to know, that you don't need me anymore.
I think it's more about his dad dying though, which is ok as you are working on a death mix too.
Most egregious though is not a single song from the greatest divorce album of all time. So utterly despair that the artist said he could not understand why I single person could possibly listen to it.
Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks
seriously man, it is absolutely critical you go buy that CD this very second.
9 - Lono
one last thing, and this is very important. I am going to give you a secret piece of important mourning ritual that I personally have used for about 15 years. Obviously I am referrring to your death mix. Samba Pa Ti from Carlos Santana (I believe it's on the third disc, Abraxas).
now go in peace
lono
10 - godoggo
Because I Do by X:
I am a black and white ghost
In a black and invisible dress
Oh what I mess I'm in
What kind of fool am I
I am the married kind
The kind that says I do
Forever searching for someone new
11 - Eric Olsen
ooh, X: I would pick "Burning House of Love"
12 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
hey russell. I'm working on a post at the minute entitled "The Best Relationship Records Ever" but it's mostly break-up stuff. I'll be sure to link to this right here. I know what you mean man, you wanna scream with rage one minuite and its all "fuck you, you ho" and such like the song about Fuck You, You Ho by E-MON or whatever, and then a fella feels all sorry and regretful and it's like in Dry Your Eyes about "We can even have an open relationship if you must" but then the conversations buzz round a fellas head and you think about You fucking lying fucker, what's all this shit about "we'll always be whatever the fuck" and "oooh, our house'll be like that one there" and such fucking nonsense. Look at the fucking changes i made, the shit i sorted just for you, and this is how a fella gets repaid, a fucking slap in the blood-pump? And then maybe you think about "ah well, at least now the roads open for however comes along, I THE FUCK E kirsten dunst, the lass from the chip shop etc. But then you note that if your roads are open, so are hers, and worse, maybe her legs. Suddenly everyone with the same name as the cunt you hear she's hanging around with becomes the most hateful motherfucker you ever knew. You refuse to watch fims with Alec Baldwin because you hear she's been seeing this fucking Alec or some shit, and also, his flicks sucked.
Blood On The Tracks, as Lono said, is probably the ultimate one, on account of it sums it all up. one minute he's screaming about "you're an idiot, babe, it's a wonder that you still know how to breathe", and then it's all "if you see her, say hello. She might be in Tangier" before the melancholy of "buckets of rain".
Who the hell knows. Do like Morrissey and adopt celibacy when it suits.
13 - Eric Olsen
and speaking of bands with romantically involved members breaking up in public, there's the entire Rumors album
14 - Al Barger
Also, you definitely should consider Elvis singing about that cold "Kentucky Rain."
15 - bmarkey
Not a plan of action, just a good song: "Down By The River" by Neil Young.
16 - godoggo
red rubber ball
17 - Brooke
try listening to Boyz II Men's "Doin' Just Fine" it's a great song, and it will TOTALLY fit your mood. i poped my cassette listening to it when my ex and i broke up.
18 - Mary
Great break-up song, if you can find it around somewhere, by Husker Du on the New Day Rising album; song title, Terms of psychic warfare.
Fav lines:
You've got your own bed now
I suggest that's the one you sleep in
Doesn't sound like much to read it, but when you hear it, it's so acerbic...great!