Top 10 Worst Song Lyrics... Ever... - Comments Page 3

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• 76 - kira

  Jul 28, 2005 at 9:31 pm

  Re: 47
  
  I make no claims about 'Tubthumping' as a quality song lyric-wise, but you can't knock on the chorus just because you aren't familiar with British slang. 'Pissing the night away' refers to drinking all night long, which makes perfect sense when coupled with, the lines about drinking whiskey, cider, vodka, and lager.

• 77 - Nick

  Jul 28, 2005 at 9:42 pm

  Hip Hop Marmalade spic and span,
  Met you one summer and it all began
  Your the best girl that I ever did see,
  The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
  When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
  Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
  Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
  Sumthin in your eyes went and drove me crazy
  Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
  Left one day and never came back
  Stayed all summer then went back home,
  Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
  Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speakin
  Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
  When I met you I said my name was Rich
  You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
  
  - Summer Girls by LFO

• 78 - Duane

  Jul 28, 2005 at 9:46 pm

  Zager and Evans:
  
  "In the year fortyfive fortyfive
  you ain't gonna need your teeth
  won't need your eyes
  you won't find a thing to chew
  nobody's gonna look at you."
  
  Hehe.
  
  Men Without Hats:
  
  "I say, we can dance, we can dance
  Everything out of control
  We can dance, we can dance
  We're doing it from wall to wall
  We can dance, we can dance
  Everybody look at your hands
  We can dance, we can dance
  Everybody takin' the cha-a-a-ance
  
  Safety dance
  Is it safe to dance
  Is it safe to dance"
  
  We should look at our hands?
  
  BTO:
  
  "If it were easy as fishin'
  You could be a musician
  If you could make sounds loud or mellow
  Get a second-hand guitar
  Chances are you'll go far
  If you get in with the right bunch of fellows"
  
  Not really fair. The song sucks eggs in every possible way. The lyrics just make it worse. Using the word "fellows" in a "rock" tune is just too funny.
  
  Alanis is a genius compared to 90% of the crap out there.

• 79 - toby

  Jul 28, 2005 at 10:16 pm

  ANY lyric by solo Sammy Hagar is cringe-worthy. They are all so moronic that it leads me to believe he does it on purpose to appease his core audience, because no one is truly that stupid, right?
  But Loverboy....oh, how I loathe them! Their penultimate putrid moment was the song - and video - "Lovin' Every Minute Of It:
  I'm not man or machine
  I'm just something in between
  I'm all love, a dynamo
  So push the button and let me go
  
  You want me to come alive
  Just flick the switch into overdrive
  You and me can let it be
  Ready-Aim-Fire
  
  All of this sung in the manly register of a yelping French poodle.

• 80 - visualsimplicity

  Jul 28, 2005 at 10:51 pm

  Ahahaha. I completely forgot about that stupid song, "Summer Girls". Good call on that one Nick.

• 81 - yeahright?

  Jul 29, 2005 at 2:08 am

  i cant believe nobody has mention anything from eminem. theres a whole list just coming from him. i still dont understand why people take him as a serious rapper.

• 82 - randi

  Jul 29, 2005 at 4:49 am

  ok i am frine with those lyrics u try writing a fricken song and u see how hard it is i havent looked at all of them but i was listening to the radio today and i heard fix it by coldplay i really like that song and i kno a lot of people do also so if u think u can do better be my guest but i guarentee u, u will suck commpared to them

• 83 - dancer

  Jul 29, 2005 at 4:52 am

  Hip Hop Marmalade spic and span,
  Met you one summer and it all began
  Your the best girl that I ever did see,
  The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
  When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
  Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
  Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
  Sumthin in your eyes went and drove me crazy
  Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
  Left one day and never came back
  Stayed all summer then went back home,
  Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
  Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speakin
  Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
  When I met you I said my name was Rich
  You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
  
  - Summer Girls by LFO
  
  i love that song and your a boy so u wouldnt understand girl songs its not FOR YOU so dont say anything bout it

• 84 - Andrew Ian Dodge

  Jul 29, 2005 at 5:34 am

  Duane the speed limit was 55 when the song was written. It really does not work as a song that well but as a video its great.

• 85 - Andrew Careaga

  Jul 29, 2005 at 10:43 am

  I posted a few you missed, such as:
  
  "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da," by the Police; "My Sharona," by the Knack; and a few other choice morsels. Stop by and say hello.

• 86 - Aunt Beep

  Jul 29, 2005 at 11:07 am

  Can't remember who sings the song. But it is the worst song on earth to me:
  
  "wanna put my tender heart
  in a blender
  wanna settle down to a beautiful oblivian"
  
  terrible.

• 87 - Mihos

  Jul 29, 2005 at 1:11 pm

  
  WHo could forget
  Dont Get Stopped in BEverly Hills?
  Song: Don’t Get Stopped In Beverly Hills ~~ 1984 ~~ 4:24
  Artist: Shalamar
  LP/CD: Heart Break ~~ Solar ~~ 1984
  Writers: Hawk~Howard Hewett~Micki Free
  
  Don’t get stopped in Beverly Hills
  You better walk soft in Beverly Hills
  Don’t get wild in Beverly Hills
  You gotta have style in Beverly Hills
  
  You look around thinkin’ your number’s up
  You see the lights flash in your eyes
  It’s goin’ down louder than thunder
  You’re shakin’ hard, thinkin’ those lies
  
  There’s no escape once they get to you
  There’s no excuse, they’re gonna buy
  They’re comin’ down, boy, let me warn you
  They know it all, so don’t even try
  
  (Don’t get stopped) Don’t get stopped (Hey) in Beverly Hills
  (Walk soft) You better walk soft (Uh) in Beverly Hills
  (Don’t get wild) Don’t get wild (Hey) in Beverly Hills
  (Have style) You gotta have style in Beverly Hills
  
  They do it right, everything’s by the book
  There ain’t no slack when they’re around
  You better not give them no reason
  You better stop, don’t make a sound
  
  You see them out cruisin’ your neighborhood
  It’s always cool when they’re around
  When something’s up, you better dial that number
  ‘Cause they’re the best, the best in this town
  
  (Don’t get stopped) Don’t get stopped (Hey) in Beverly Hills
  (Oh, walk soft) You better walk soft (Uh) in Beverly Hills
  (Don’t get wild) Don’t get wild (Hey) in Beverly Hills
  (Oh, gotta have style) You gotta have style (Oh) in Beverly Hills
  
  (Don’t get stopped) Don’t get stopped (Ah) in Beverly Hills
  (Walk soft) You better walk soft (Hey) in Beverly Hills
  (Don’t get wild) Don’t get wild in Beverly Hills
  (Have style) You gotta have style in Beverly Hills (Oh…oh…oh…)
  
  Oh, get down
  Oh…
  Oh, ooh, ooh…
  
  (Don’t get stopped) Don’t get stopped (Hey) in Beverly Hills
  (Oh, walk soft) You better walk soft (Yeah) in Beverly Hills
  (Oh, get wild) Don’t get wild (Oh) in Beverly Hills
  (Have style) You gotta have style (Uh) in Beverly Hills
  
  (Don’t get stopped) Don’t get stopped (Hey) in Beverly Hills
  (Yeah, ha) You better walk soft (Uh) in Beverly Hills
  (Don’t you get wild) Don’t get wild (Ah…) in Beverly Hills
  (Eah…) You gotta have style (Ooh, ooh, ooh) in Beverly Hills
  
  (Don’t get stopped) Don’t get stopped (Oh) in Beverly Hills
  (Walk soft) You better walk soft (Hey) in Beverly Hills
  (Ooh…ooh…) Don’t get wild (Oh…) in Beverly Hills
  (Oh, baby) You gotta have style (Have style) in Beverly Hills
  
  (Don’t get stopped) Don’t get stopped (Oh) in Beverly Hills
  (Yeah, ha) You better walk soft (Uh) in Beverly Hills
  (Get wild) Don’t get wild (Ooh…ooh…ooh…) in Beverly Hills
  You gotta have style in Beverly Hills
  
  

• 88 - Charles Francis

  Jul 31, 2005 at 9:20 pm

  One song whose lyrics have always made me sick is "They All Laughed" by the Gershwins. The Tin Pan Alley era lyricists all had to write those idiotic, formulaic songs on command that always had some gay little cleverness to them. I'm totally down with the Great American Songbook, so to speak, but just looking at the title of such a retarded song just gives you the clue that, "oh, gee, I wonder if maybe everyone laughed when the chick/dude went for the person of the opposite gender, but then he gets the girl in the end! Whoa! Too original an idea! Information overload!"
  
  Man, it's like when I sit and listen to Nat King Cole songs I'm not familiar with and can guess, verbatim, 50% of the lines that follow by virtue of the word he's gotta rhyme something with. I sometimes have trouble imagining that these are songs written by professionals for professional singers.

• 89 - James McOmber

  Jul 31, 2005 at 9:28 pm

  I posted the previous comment under a different name, har har
  
  These rhymes automatically turn me off to any song, exceptions made in only rare and subjective circumstances:
  
  love/above
  funny/money
  drink/think
  stupid/cupid
  hear/ear
  song/wrong/along
  life/strife
  (to)night/right/fight
  down/ground
  alone/phone
  seven/heaven
  know (it)/show (it)
  lonely/only
  girl/world
  hold () hand/understand

• 90 - Duane

  Jul 31, 2005 at 10:09 pm

  James, what other words rhyme with "heaven"? There's no good reason to have the word "seven" at the end of a phrase in a lyric, though, except to rhyme it with heaven.
  
  I was just messin' around, Andrew (#84).

• 91 - Eric Olsen

  Jul 31, 2005 at 10:10 pm

  leaven

• 92 - Duane

  Jul 31, 2005 at 10:15 pm

  on a jet plane?

• 93 - jessica

  Aug 04, 2005 at 12:12 am

  i'm a little late on this one, but i have to throw in the song lyric that makes me cringe: particle man, particle man ...
  
  and what's up with ssssudio?

• 94 - Davetta

  Aug 04, 2005 at 12:53 am

  I can't believe no one has mentioned "The Reflex" by Duran Duran:
  
  You've gone too far this time
  but I'm dancing on the valentine
  I tell you somebody's fooling around
  with my chances on the dangerline
  
  I'll cross that bridge when I find it
  another day to make my stand oh-woah
  High time is no time for deciding
  If I should find a helping hand oh-whoa
  
  Why don't you use it
  try not to bruise it
  buy time don't lose it
  
  Why don't you use it
  try not to bruise it
  buy time don't lose it
  
  The reflex is a lonely child
  just waiting by the park
  The reflex is in charge of finding
  a treasure in the dark
  
  And watching over lucky clover
  isn't that bizarre
  Every little thing the reflex does
  leaves you answered with a question mark
  
  I'm on a ride and I wanna get off
  but they won't slow down the roundabout
  I sold the Renoir and the TV set don't wanna be around when this gets out
  
  So why don't you use it
  try not to bruise it
  buy time don't lose it
  
  Why don't you use it
  try not to bruise it
  buy time don't lose it
  
  The reflex is a lonely child
  he's waiting in the park
  The reflex is in charge of finding
  a treasure in the dark
  And watching over lucky clover
  isn't that bizarre
  Every little thing the reflex does
  leaves you answered with a question mark
  
  So why don't you use it
  try not to bruise it
  buy time don't lose it
  
  etc...
  
  Can somebody please tell me wtf this idiot is going on about???

• 95 - deebee

  Aug 04, 2005 at 11:20 am

  Lenny Kravitz's "I Build The Garden For Us"
  
  "In this garden
  They’ll be no war
  No racial prejudice
  You’ll be my brother
  Of any color
  You’ll just be okay with us
  We’ll live each day in peace
  In hope that we will one day reach
  The rest of the world
  When they are ready to be teached"
  
  Teached? TEACHED?!!?
  
  I understand artistic license when it comes to matters of grammar. However, there are limits and "teached" is beyond those limits.
  
  

• 96 - Taloran

  Aug 04, 2005 at 11:53 am

  Reading about My Sharona brought to mind another piece of pop dreck from the same period - they may even have been on the charts simultaneously. How 'bout Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes?
  
  Ol' Rupert is searching the classifieds for a soul mate, looking for someone who likes pina coladas and walks in the rain. (as far as I can remember - I've tried to put it out of mind for many years.) Godawful drivel at its worst.
  
  Another wonderful one from the same time period is Undercover Angel by Alan O'Day (?). An homage to wanking.

• 97 - Jones Violet

  Aug 06, 2005 at 2:14 pm

  I've been thinking about this:
  
  
  Will Smith's Miami..
  
  
  so we sip a liitle something, leave the rest to spill.
  me and charlie at the bar running up a high bill
  nuttin' less than ill when we dress to kill,
  and every time the ladies pass they be like "Hi Will"
  
  
  or Get Jiggy With It, or whatever the heck it's called.
  
  

• 98 - James McOmber

  Aug 07, 2005 at 2:04 am

  Andrew: I've actually seen "Heaven" rhymed with "forgiven", which is not an exact rhyme, but it works very well.
  
  One might also write a song about, say, one's new motorcycle - and dedicate it to one's girlfriend - and have it go as follows:
  
  "Baby, I'm in Heaven
  When my engine I am revvin'
  Now it's half past eleven
  I'm out, love Kevin"

• 99 - James McOmber

  Aug 07, 2005 at 4:48 pm

  sorry, dude, I misunderstood and thought it was Andrew who wrote me back. Duane, it may be one of the only decent rhymes for "Heaven" but that does not mean it isn't obnoxious and hackneyed.

• 100 - Bob A. Booey

  Aug 07, 2005 at 5:18 pm

  Very funny stuff, particularly the Lenny Kravitz and Will Smith lyrics.
  
  I totally agree on the 50 Cent "Candy Shop" lyrics -- anyone got any other funny rap lyrics?
  
  Keep em coming, freaks.
  
  Here's my nomination, "Freshmen" by long-forgotten poseurs Verve Pipe, an ironic song title since the song evokes really bad freshman poetry:
  
  "when i was young i knew everything
  and she a punk who rarely ever took advice
  now i'm guilt stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor
  stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice
  
  i can't be held responsible
  cause she was touching her face
  I won't be held responsible
  she fell in love in the first place
  
  for the life of me i cannot remember
  what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
  for the life of me i cannot believe
  we'd ever die for these sins
  we were merely freshmen
  
  my best friend took a week's vacation to forget her
  his girl took a week's worth valium and slept
  now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his head on the floor
  thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says
  
  i can't be held responsible
  cause she was touching her face
  I won't be held responsible
  she fell in love in the first place
  
  for the life of me i cannot remember
  what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
  for the life of me i cannot believe
  we'd ever die for these sins
  we were merely freshmen
  
  we've tried to wash our hands of all of this
  we never talk of our lacking relationships
  and how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor
  we fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say
  
  i can't be held responsible
  cause she was touching her face
  I won't be held responsible
  she fell in love in the first place
  
  for the life of me i cannot remember
  what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
  for the life of me i cannot believe
  we'd ever die for these sins
  we were merely freshmen
  we were merely freshmen
  we were only freshmen"
  
  That is all.

• 101 - Bob A. Booey

  Aug 07, 2005 at 5:33 pm

  I totally disagree with Safety Dance, by the way. Whoever wrote that does not fully appreciate the gestalt of Men Without Hats. Similarly, I think you're being too serious if you can't see the tongue-in-cheek value of the Spice Girls, Thong Song, and Wang Chung. Vanilla Ice was a lyrical genius and every boy who grew up around that era knows every word to that song. Just like only a film that aims to be serious and artistically meaningful can be the most horrible movie of all time, only lyrics that are meant to be taken seriously can be truly horrid. That automatically disqualifies most bubblegum pop, other than the ballads. Good-time party songs definitely don't count among the worst lyrics of all time.
  
  "Unskinny bop" was a funny one, Natalie, but I think it was mean to be stupid and nonsensical.
  
  Olsen: was the wedding friend ugly? That's a funny story. Now that's a song with great, profound lyrics.
  
  Barenaked Ladies story on the way, maybe.
  
  That is all.

• 102 - KYS

  Aug 07, 2005 at 6:26 pm

  How about The Divinyls:
  
  "I don´t want anybody else
  When I think about you I touch myself"
  
  Is that necessary?
  

• 103 - Cerulean

  Aug 07, 2005 at 7:02 pm

  I like the lyrics of the first three songs picked. "Your Body is a Wonderland" by John Mayer is affirming and welcome. Barry Manilow, well, that's a given. "The Burrito" and the Gun's N Roses song are pretty bad. "Muskrat Love," I agree. There's a lot of songs written about love and sex but they seem to be even more prominent on this list than they are in life.
  
  What's with all Alanis Morisette bashing? As if I didn't know. "You Oughta Know" was brilliant for the lyrics. She's a genius.
  
  I like the lyrics of "Sugar Shack" They are playful and retro.
  
  I don't know what to think of Eric Olsen's female friends choice of a wedding song except to wonder what it means to her and why she likes that. I know the song's lyrics, if it is the same one. If it's cause she thinks she and/or her spouse is ugly then she is remarkable tolerant and bold.
  
  I like the Ramones but some of their lyrics could have made the list. As someone said, it's stupid songs from the fifties that would have topped my list, or novelty songs, or songs written on acid in the seventies. The person who wrote this thread knows how to stir up this community, however.
  
  
  
  

• 104 - Bob A. Booey

  Aug 07, 2005 at 11:58 pm

  "Affirming and welcome," Cerulean?
  
  You're quite a comedian or quite naive. I'm sick of writing about John Mayer, but I'll just say that you're being manipulated to buy records by a goofy, dorky, cynical sociopath who writes BS lyrics to get women who are in desperate need of "affirmation and welcoming" into his soft, gooey web of artistic mediocrity and safe, soul-numbing consumerism.
  
  Cerulean -- you're totally missing the point of the Ramones if you would put them on this list. They were playing characters, pretending to be mook street tough brothers from Queens who were like a musical gang that wasn't quite right in the head. Hence all the references to lobotomies, medication, psychiatric treatment, shock treatment, idiots, retards, circus freaks, etc., in the lyrics.
  
  You really think Alanis is a lyrical genius? The only reason anyone remembers that horrible song is the following pandering lyrics written about Dave Coulier's Bullwinkle moose voice:
  
  "An older version of me
  Is she perverted like me
  Would she go down on you in a theatre
  Does she speak eloquently
  And would she have your baby
  I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
  
  [...]
  
  You seem very well, things look peaceful
  I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
  Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
  I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
  It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
  Are you thinking of me when you fuck her
  
  [...]
  
  Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
  And I'm not gonna fade"
  
  I think "joke that you laid on the bed that was me" about sums it all up for Alanis as an artist and lyricist.
  
  I do still love the song "Thank You," however, and I marvel that it came out of her fuzzy faux-hippie head.
  
  That Divinyls song is great and the lyrics are great. Whatcha talkin about, KYS?
  
  That is all.
  
  
  

• 105 - Victor Plenty

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:10 am

  Interesting claim of psychic powers there, Mr. Booey.
  
  Or is there some documented evidence you can cite to prove your accusations against John Mayer? Disliking his music is a matter of taste; labeling him a "sociopath" is not really justifiable without some strong evidence.
  
  So far all you've done is claim to know his motives without giving anyone the slightest reason to think you remotely know what you're talking about.

• 106 - Bob A. Booey

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:24 am

  Ever heard him interviewed, Victor?
  
  He goes on TV talk shows and talks about how he doesn't take dating seriously and doesn't believe in intimate relationships with serious girlfriends. He goes as far as to portray himself as a wannabe player who has fun with girls based on his rock star status and doesn't have a care for how they feel about it. Apparently, he had a short-lived reality documentary on either MTV or VH1 that followed him around and he said many of the same jerky things. This is a spoiled little whitebread brat who manipulates women who don't know better into buying records based on sappy, manipulative, calculated lyrics like "Daughters" while talking about how he treats women poorly in his personal life the next second.
  
  That sounds borderline sociopathic to me. Or at minimum, he's a very good con-man.
  
  Had enough yet? No? I'll go as far as to quote myself, from this site, on John Mayer (6/25/04):
  
  "John Mayer is a soulless, wimpy hack. He reaches for the cheapest sentiment possible with his childish yuppie-in-training lullabies -- "I wanna run through the halls of my old high school" -- and his Dave Matthews Light vocal affectations and facial expressions are annoying. Yeah, we get the point, John. You're singing about very personal thing because your face is all scrunched up.
  
  The sensitive mama's boy sex appeal is BS too. The man isn't attractive. He's a big goofy dork and the only reason women enjoy his music is because they perceive it to be non-threatening eunuch background music, the soundtrack to their empty, unfulfilling, paint-by-numbers lives. John Mayer is "the guy friend" who never asks you out and welcomes being emasculated writ large.
  
  The problem is that I think a lot of his songs are creepy, particularly the ones that are innuendo like "Your Body is a Wonderland." That may well be the creepiest song I've ever heard. It's the ultimate stalker anthem, replete with the breathy, childish lyrics and obsessive tone. I can't believe lamoids actually find this song romantic and make it "their song" with their equally ugly, dorky boyfriends.
  
  Another problem with John Mayer is that he's clearly influenced by previous wimpy suburban songwriters like Ben Folds and Dave Matthews but without Ben's irony and scrubbed clean of the hippie stink and ADD-challenging pseudo-world music jams (and threatening multi-racial tokenism) associated with Dave Matthews. John Mayer writes the anthems for the narc generation, songs to plan your future responsibly to, song that quite intentionally exclude or offend no one and challenge no thing. John Mayer represents the epitome of rock's increasing blandness and asexuality. He welcomes being feminized and welcomes a sensitive world where passion is muted and quiet, insecure meekness is rewarded. What makes it worse is that it's all calculated, as you others have already pointed out. John Mayer's targeted directly for the middle, for people without identity or convictions, people who literally reject art and taste in favor of "fitting in" and being super super white. John Mayer is the childish comfort of lullabies for underdeveloped adults who miss their cribs and value safety, security, and conformity above all else.
  
  No offense to any of you who have posted, but I noticed you're all soccer moms. Do you like ironing and doing the dishes with a lil John Mayer in the background? Do you rock out and give those expanding hips a lil wiggle as you rock the Palmolive? When you heard him on your alarm clocks, you unknowingly fell back asleep and still haven't woken from your consumerist, anti-intellectual, Pleasantville slumber. Lyrical genius? Please.
  
  Any guy who likes John Mayer is questionable. John Mayer represents the death of rock, moreso than even Dave or the various other hideous bands that have emerged in that genre."
  
  That is all.

• 107 - Victor Plenty

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:30 am

  I find it hilarious to see you, of all people, complain about someone being insensitive to women's feelings.

• 108 - nugget

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:31 am

  I'm staying up late at night and what am I reading???
  
  Grown men. Yes, all growned up with jobz n stuff. Talkin about JOHN FRIGGIN MAYER.
  
  
  
  
  I listened to a BACH CANTATA today. NUMBER 113. do you idiot tumbleweeds know how many cantatas bach wrote??? over 500! Do you know how wonderfully creative and emotional they are? Do you understand how complicated and intricate and .....shit, I'll give up.
  
  Rock n roll!!!

• 109 - Victor Plenty

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:39 am

  Cool, nugget! Where can a fella download some Bachness?

• 110 - nugget

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:45 am

  nah. I'm a stickler for buying albumns for no other reason than to have them. Go buy the Brandenburg Concertos and listen to them for about a month. You'll see.

• 111 - Victor Plenty

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:51 am

  Actually I prefer the Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. Call me crazy.

• 112 - Bob A. Booey

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:54 am

  Victor, don't claim a high-brow classical music thing now. Not after you stuck up for John Mayer.
  
  See, the difference between me and John besides millions of dollars (his, not mine) and good looks (mine, not his), is that I ADMIT I'm an asshole and insensitive toward women. John's goofing on you with the "sensitive guy" schtick and the joke's on all of you who buy his records. At least I'm honest.
  
  Nugget: don't you see John Mayer is the anti-Christ? The death of all music? He's the anti-Bach.
  
  That is all.

• 113 - Bob A. Booey

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:56 am

  Oh, and despite my crude sense of humor and tactless language choices sometimes, I treat the women in my personal life with respect and love.
  
  There, I said it. The softer side of BABsie.
  
  That is all.

• 114 - Bob A. Booey

  Aug 08, 2005 at 1:58 am

  A quick amendment ...
  
  "I treat the women in my personal life with respect and love...."
  
  That should be followed by:
  
  "... if they're hot."
  
  There, that's better. The world is right.
  
  That is all.

• 115 - Victor Plenty

  Aug 08, 2005 at 2:14 am

  I said I like Bach. Never said I liked Mayer, only that you hadn't given any justification for calling him a sociopath. You still haven't, by the way.

• 116 - nugget

  Aug 08, 2005 at 2:26 am

  BB;
  
  what you need to do is ignore John Mayer. you dig? john mayer is only the anti-christ of music if you give him that power. You have the freedom to listen to any type of music for the rest of your life. When I was in middle school MC Hammer was huge. I was never influenced by MC Hammer, just like millions of youth (girls) will grow out of John Mayer.

• 117 - nugget

  Aug 08, 2005 at 2:30 am

  oh bother. NOw look at me. a grown-ass man talking about john mayer. the ironiccallicly.

• 118 - nugget

  Aug 08, 2005 at 2:36 am

  I take that back. (about MC Hammer)
  
  I wore hammer pants once and also performed the esteemed hammer dance at a party. It was a hit. Besides that, I'm pretty good at avoiding popular culture and even stupid lists like Robert Burke's top 10 whatevers on blogcritics.

• 119 - Natalie Davis

  Aug 08, 2005 at 3:43 am

  Obviously, not good enough, Mr. Nugget. ;)
  
  By the way, liking Bach and John Mayer (for his guitar work, this non-soccer mom must add) are not mutually exclusive. What do you think of Mahler?
  
  And did I see someone diss the Gershwins???? "They All Laughed" is FABulous and Ira's lyrics are brilliantly witty.
  
  To those unfamiliar, dig:
  
  The odds were 100 to one against me.
  The world thought the heights were too high to climb.
  But people from Missouri never incensed me.
  Oh, I wasn't a bit concerned,
  For from history I had learned
  How many, many times the worm had turned.
  
  They all laughed at Christopher Columbus
  When he said the world was round.
  They all laughed when Edison recorded sound.
  They all laughed at Wilbur and his brother
  When they said that man could fly.
  They told Marconi
  Wireless was a phony.
  It's the same old cry.
  They laughed at me wanting you,
  Said I was reaching for the moon.
  But oh, you came through.
  Now they'll have to change their tune.
  
  They all said we never could be happy.
  They laughed at us and how!
  But ho, ho, ho!
  Who's got the last laugh now?
  
  What the hell is wrong with that?
  
  The lyrics, penned for the 1937 Astaire/Rogers musical Shall We Dance, tell a story of love triumphant using pieces of history. You may find the song formulaic and predictable from your 21st century perch, but perhaps you might have thought differently 70 years ago when the world was perhaps a little less jaded. It's interesting to note that while these days are much more cynical, you will still find many ambulating about who find the rhyme scheme impeccable, the melody appropriately jaunty, and the lyrical constructions sound, precise, and nimble. And, yes, clever.
  
  You know the song, Mr. Francis: Please recall that George wrote melodies first; Ira's lyrics came afterward. In the case of "They All Laughed," George wrote a phrase of ten notes followed by seven more. Then the phrase repeated with a difference -- the ten-note run was followed by one note instead of seven. It took great skill to tell a story and evoke a mood so successfully while making the words mesh seamlessly with his brother's fascinating rhythm.
  
  Whatever -- Ira Gerhswin's lyric certainly beats some imbecile using "swimming on a sea of blankets" as a metaphor for getting nookie.
  
  Mr. Francis thinks Ira Gershwin's lyrics are among the worst ever. Wow. Takes all kinds, I guess. But millions will tell ya: Ira and George Gershwin were geniuses who helped make the Great American Songbook so irresistibly great. My love for the song -- and for the Gershwins' accumulated output -- will never die. You can't take that away from me.

• 120 - Robert

  Aug 08, 2005 at 7:23 am

  QUOTE: "I wore hammer pants once and also performed the esteemed hammer dance at a party. It was a hit. Besides that, I'm pretty good at avoiding popular culture and even stupid lists like Robert Burke's top 10 whatevers on blogcritics"
  
  I'll stick with the stupid lists and you can keep on with your Hammer pants.
  Sound like a good deal?

• 121 - Natalie Davis

  Aug 08, 2005 at 2:37 pm

  Hamnmer dance? Esteemed? Lends new meaning to "I'm dope on the floor."

• 122 - Bob A. Booey

  Aug 08, 2005 at 9:37 pm

  MC Hammer was way better than John Mayer, who's whiter than anyone this side of Barenaked Ladies. I loved those parachute pants.
  
  I even thought it was amusing when Hammer tried to turn gangsta after Dre and Snoop changed the whole rap game. And I loved that video for "2 Legit" with all the jocks doing the 2L2-- hand motions. That was tight.
  
  Even Natalie Davis thought Hammer was cool at one point.
  
  You got 2 Pray just to make it today ....
  
  That is all.

• 123 - nugget

  Aug 08, 2005 at 10:45 pm

  "I'll stick with the stupid lists and you can keep on with your Hammer pants.
  Sound like a good deal?"
  
  what? Perhaps you should factor in the correlation that exists between age and taste. You see, I only wear Hammer pants at the Vortex club in Atlanta now, because of course they glow in the dark. Glow sticks are so 3 years ago, and X is losing its weight in rave clubs.
  
  
  I'm sure Natalie was into Hammer. Robert is still into hammer's evangelical sham and stupid top ten whatever lists.
  

• 124 - Bruce Johnston

  Aug 10, 2005 at 1:46 pm

  Barry Manilow didn't write that song...Bruce Johnston wrote it, and it's about Brian Wilson, whom Bruce Johnston subbed for in the mid/late-sixties.

• 125 - sharon

  Aug 11, 2005 at 4:16 pm

  "We built this city on rock and roll" is a pop song! Possibly the worst pop song in the history of music. "pina Colada" - I have never tried this drink in case it turns me in to a complete wanker that stands in the rain for a quickie from the prsonal ads.