Top 10 Worst Song Lyrics... Ever... - Comments Page 2

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• 26 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo

  Jul 27, 2005 at 10:23 pm

  re: comment 7
  
  Rob, you just quoted Ed Byrne's routine word for word!!!! egads, man, the irish tearaway's gonna be cacking himself if he finds out

• 27 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo

  Jul 27, 2005 at 10:31 pm

  what of bad song TITLES? "She Loves My Cock" by Jackyl springs to mind (no pun intended), but it's one of those numbers that is very very close to being possibly the BEST song title ever. in fact fuck it, She Loves My Cock is the best song title ever by anyone.
  
  Bright Eyes used to pepper his records with exceedingly pretentious song titles, usually three paragraphs long. Connor got away with it, mind, on account of his fringe, and also, he's brilliant.
  
  heh, i dunno if this is a BAD lyric, as such, just one that amuses me maybe in a way contrary to the intention;
  
  "She's got a sister
  And on the palm of her hand is a blister
  And god only knows how i missed her
  And i need more time"
  
  hah, from the wonderful She's Electric by Oasis
  
  as to Best lyrics, i dare say this from ICE-T takes some beatin;
  
  "PMRC such my dick, please,
  You can kiss my ass while you're on your knees"

• 28 - Robert

  Jul 27, 2005 at 11:08 pm

  Who wrote "Light My Fire"?

• 29 - AKMA

  Jul 27, 2005 at 11:36 pm

  What about “Riders On the Storm”?
  
  Into this house we’re born
  Into this world we’re thrown
  Like a dog without a bone
  An actor out alone
  
  
  There's a killer on the road
  His brain is squirmin' like a toad

• 30 - Nick Jones

  Jul 28, 2005 at 1:23 am

  Ever hear a song that was absolutely ruined by one lyric? Remember Harry Nilsson? On his album Son of Schilsson, he had a song called "You're Breakin' My Heart". Besides being graced by a slide guitar solo by George Harrison, it includes lyrics (chorus first, oddly enough) such as:
  
  "You're breakin' my heart,
  you're tearin' it apart,
  so FUCK YOU."
  
  Terrific: finally, a song that shows the real feelings behind all those G-rated breakup or you-done-me-wrong songs. But then, at the end, Nilsson blows the whole thing:
  
  "You're breakin' my heart,
  [a line that ends with a rhyme for 'heart'],
  but I Love You."
  
  Destroys the whole raison d'etre of the thing. Pisses me the fuck off. The only critique I can give is to Harry himself:
  
  "That song was no rave,
  and you're in your grave,
  so it's too late for you, ooo-ooo,
  
  Your best song was lame,
  They've forgotten your name,
  So FUCK YOU."
  

• 31 - drake

  Jul 28, 2005 at 2:21 am

  Alanis' "Ironic" was actually my second choice.
  
  Is it ironic that she slept through 10th grade English when they went over the concept of irony?

• 32 - drake

  Jul 28, 2005 at 2:23 am

  FYI - for MacArthur Park, the "Oh no" is part of the lyrics, not my input.

• 33 - Andrew Ian Dodge

  Jul 28, 2005 at 7:57 am

  Paul, yeah you got it in one. I adore that song but man are the lyrics twee.

• 34 - Jim Santo

  Jul 28, 2005 at 8:32 am

  I gotta hand my vote to famous fat cokehead Stephen Stills:
  
  If you're down, and confused
  And you don't remember, who you're talkin' to
  Concentration slips away
  'Cause your baby is so far away
  
  Chorus
  And there's a rose, in a fisted glove
  And the eagle flies, with the dove
  And if you can't be, with the one you love
  Love the one you're with
  
  Don't be angry, don't be sad
  Don't sit cryin' over good times you had
  There's a girl, right next to you
  And she's just waitin', for something to do
  
  [Chorus]
  
  Turn your heartache right into joy
  She's a girl, and you're a boy
  So get it together, make it nice
  You ain't gonna need, any more advice
  

• 35 - Eric Olsen

  Jul 28, 2005 at 8:51 am

  I am still pondering this: there is something obvious just out of my reach at the moment, but I'll find it!

• 36 - Andrew Ian Dodge

  Jul 28, 2005 at 9:20 am

  As someone who listens to/reads lyrics quite a bit (no realising until recently that I was interested in being a lyricist) it amazes me how truly dire some of the lyrics from song faves of mine are in the end. It a good example of how songs work because of both the lyrics & the music...

• 37 - Drum

  Jul 28, 2005 at 10:09 am

  Has anyone mentioned Rod Stewart yet? From 'Do you think I'm sexy?'
  
  He took her back
  To his high-rise apartment
  At last he could tell her
  Exactly what his heart meant...
  
  

• 38 - Pantagruel

  Jul 28, 2005 at 10:17 am

  Thank you Wallybangs,
  
  I guess Barry Manilow didn't write the songs. haha
  
  I heard somewhere that Mayer wrote Wonderland for his girlfriend Jennifer Love Huge-tits.

• 39 - Rob

  Jul 28, 2005 at 10:20 am

  How about these nuggets:
  
  Aerosmith, "I don't want to stop":
  "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
  Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
  While you are far away and dreaming,
  I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
  I could stay lost in this moment forever,
  Where a moment spent with you is a moment I treasure,"
  
  I hate that lyric so much. Terrible.
  
  Poison, "Every Rose Has it's Thorn":
  "Every rose has its thorn
  Just like every night has its dawn
  Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
  Every rose has its thorn"
  
  Avril Lavigne, "Sk8ter Boi":
  "He was a boy
  She was a girl
  Can i make it any more obvious"
  She's a teenager, so a bit of forgiveness is in order.
  
  Spice Girls, "Wannabe":
  "Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
  So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
  I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
  So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
  I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
  really really wanna zigzag ha."
  What the hell?

• 40 - Natalie Davis

  Jul 28, 2005 at 12:03 pm

  "What ought we know though bro?"
  
  Alanis does not know the meaning of the word "ironic." Don'tcha think?
  
  Must disagree about Barenaked Ladies' "One Week." The song is cleverer than it appears -- these guys are wicked smart.
  
  More suggestions:
  
  "Everybody have fun tonight
  Everybody have fun tonight
  Everybody wang chung tonight
  Everybody have fun"
  
  Wang Chung, of course, is the duo behind the song, but what is "wang chunging" as a verb? How does one wang chung? And why would anyone want to wang chung? What's fun about it?
  
  OK, how about Poison's "Unskinny Bop"?
  
  "Unskinny bop
  Just blows me away
  Unskinny bop, bop
  All night and day
  Unskinny bop, bop, bop, bop
  She just loves to play
  Unskinny bop, nothin' more to say"
  
  Catchy, but stupid.
  
  How about this lyrical convolution from 34 years ago:
  
  "In the desert, you can remember your name
  'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain"
  
  Is America lyricist Dewey Bunnelll saying the desert is great because no one will hurt you there?
  
  And finally -- god, there are so many -- a song that has always irked me, Amy Grant's "It Takes a Little Time":
  
  "It takes a little time sometimes, to get the Titanic turned back around."
  
  No, hon, the Titanic is beyond turning back. Has been for generations. Try again.

• 41 - Antfreeze

  Jul 28, 2005 at 1:19 pm

  Nancy Sinatra, Boots were made for walkin...
  
  
  you keep samin
  when you oughta be changin
  
  top (or bottom) that...
  

• 42 - Eric Berlin

  Jul 28, 2005 at 1:26 pm

  I'm really glad Poison has checked in a few times on this list...

• 43 - sisi

  Jul 28, 2005 at 1:29 pm

  I would like to add the Hilary Duff song "Come Clean" to this list. "Let the rain fall down/And wake my dreams/Let it wash away my sanity/'Cause I wanna feel the thunder, I wanna scream". What? It's not like I try to listen to Ms. Duff, but I couldn't help but notice these awful lyrics. And I heartily agree with 50 Cent's "Candy Shop". I feel so ashamed that there are three artists on this list that I really like--Pete Yorn, Coldplay, and John Mayer. I think the Yorn song is forgivable. It's not supposed to be a metaphor or anything, it's actually a story about how he was hanging out at the 7-11, eating a ton microwave burritos and waiting for a girl to call him. Okay, maybe it's not so forgivable.

• 44 - Sarah T.

  Jul 28, 2005 at 1:54 pm

  The Thong Song : 8 "songwriter" credits for this : "...dumps like a truck, truck, truck..."
  So, um, about 3 words per "writer"...

• 45 - Destin

  Jul 28, 2005 at 2:25 pm

  I'm all for "Wonderland" being a bad song, but the phrase "room for two" confusing you isn't a valid complaint. It's a hotel room. For two people. As you might specify when speaking with the desk clerk.
  
  To add another nitpick, I think it's funny when someone critizes another's (50 Cent's) "grammer" while misspelling "grammar."
  
  So here's a nominee: Cranberries - Free To Decide. Perhaps too obscure for a list, but I remember hearing it on the radio and being deeply offended at the incompetence of this verse:
  
  You must have nothing,
  More with your time to do.
  There's a war in Russia,
  And Sarajevo too.
  
  We've got awkward sentence structure to facilitate a cheap rhyme, and random wars suddenly name-checked in a song about one person being kinda bummed out about stuff. There's no particular depth to the line, nor protest of the wars, but it's shoehorned in because all the Cranberries wanted to be was U2. Empty seriousness? Awkward grammar? Pretentious "Message?" Lazy rhyme? Smells like bad lyrics.

• 46 - Anne

  Jul 28, 2005 at 2:25 pm

  Ok--most of these I can agree to on some level. However, I can't include Cherry Pie on there. I agree that the lyrics are bad, but, lets face it, they were not trying to be good. I also can't agree with John Mayer's song. I love that song, it is very sexy, even if it is corny.
  
  There are so many bad songs but the only one that keeps coming into my head "Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" from REO Speedwagon.

• 47 - alliann1288

  Jul 28, 2005 at 2:47 pm

  How about Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping"? Those lyrics are horrible...I mean, come'on, "Pissing the night away..."??

• 48 - Natalie Davis

  Jul 28, 2005 at 2:52 pm

  I really like John Mayer too, but while listening to "Wonderland," it's hard to fight the urge to scream, "Shut up and play your guitar!"
  
  And oh god, hearing "Thong Song" makes me ashamed to come from Baltimore. Sisqo lives about 10 minutes away from here. Ugh.
  
  Also, ugh... my daughter posits Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby":
  
  "To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
  Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle"
  
  My dead horse-beating firstborn labeled these as the dumbest lyrics she has ever heard outside of '70s art-rock à la Genesis and Fairport Convention. My reply, "What do you expect? Consider the source."

• 49 - Cynthia

  Jul 28, 2005 at 3:47 pm

  A lot of lyrics can't stand alone, but need music to resonate. Lots of these lyrics are silly , sure. But you don't notice or particularly care until it's pointed out to you. Sometimes silly or cliche lyrics work in the context of a tune.
  Sugar Shack for example, I think, paints a carefree caricature of coffehouse beatniks. It's fun!
  Pop music and rock and roll should be nothing if not fun!!!

• 50 - Eric Olsen

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:27 pm

  good point, that's part of my problem with this concept: MOST lyrics sound pretty silly on the written page, but that isn't where they were meant to be experienced. The musical setting and the singers tone can make all the difference in the world

• 51 - Mark Saleski

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:42 pm

  Got mashed potatoes
  Got mashed potatoes
  Got mashed potatoes
  Ain't got no T-Bone
  Ain't got no T-Bone
  
  Got mashed potatoes
  Got mashed potatoes
  Got mashed potatoes
  Got mashed potatoes
  Ain't got no T-Bone
  
  (a sort of Philip Glass thing by way of a canadian hippie)

• 52 - skip tracer

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:43 pm

  Why do people still make commentary about "Ironic" and act as if they are the first person to ever make such astute observations? Do you really think you're the first person to notice that none of the lines are ironic, or that the fact that none of the lyrics are ironic is what makes the song ironic? Give me a break.
  
  Anyway, some of the worst lyrics ever have to be Dashboard Confessional ones, especially the one from the song from the Spiderman II soundtrack, particularly the line: "Hope dangles on a string, like slow spinning redemption."
  
  How can you compare two abstract concepts in this way? Since when does redemption spin slowly? Doesn't make any sense.

• 53 - Phillip Winn

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:47 pm

  Skip Tracer, you've got a bit of a problem with comprehending lyrics, eh?
  
  Redemption doesn't spin slowly, but things dangling on strings spin slowly.
  
  So hope is like redemption, but tenuously, as if dangling on a string.
  
  Well, that's how I read that line anyway, isolated from the song I've never heard.

• 54 - Eric Olsen

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:48 pm

  "Skip Tracer" is a very cool name, though

• 55 - Eric Olsen

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:50 pm

  A good (female) friend of mine selected "If You Wanna Be Happy (For the Rest of Our Life)" as her wedding song - how do we fell about that?

• 56 - DrPat

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:50 pm

  A song is poetry set to music. Clearly, however, some poetry is doggerel. Even the "best" artists are not immune. I think of Sting for example:
  
  Lyric:

  This place has changed for good / Your economic theory said it would / It's hard for us to understand / We can't give up our jobs the way we should / Our blood has stained the coal / We tunneled deep inside the nation's soul / We matter more than pounds and pence / Your economic theory makes no sense...

  
  Doggerel:

  At the still point of destruction / At the centre of the fury / All the angels, all the devils / All around us can't you see / There is a deeper wave than this / Rising in the land / There is a deeper wave than this / Nothing will withstand
  
  I say love is the seventh wave [repeat over and over]

  
  I don't know, but I suspect "We Work the Black Seam" and "Love is the Seventh Wave" had different writers. So we have the sonnet-like rondeau of "Fortress Around Your Heart," juxtaposed with the inanity of "Shadows in the Rain."

• 57 - Joe.My.God.

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:50 pm

  You fucked up on the Donna Summer item.
  
  "MacArthur Park" was NOT on Once Upon A Time.
  
  It was on Live And More.
  
  EVERYBODY knows that.

• 58 - Eric Olsen

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:50 pm

  it didn't last, by the way

• 59 - visualsimplicity

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:52 pm

  I still think "One Week" is them trying to make a social commentary while being goofy and silly at the same time, but coming off as just being stupid and unfunny.
  
  Let me nominate another attempt at social commentary while coming off as stupid. Good Charlotte's "Boys and Girls".
  
  Girls Don't Like Boys.
  Girls Like Cars And Money
  Boys Will Laugh At Girls When They're Not Funny
  
  Couldn't find something meaningful to rhyme with money? How is boys laughing at girls when they're not funny a profound observation?

• 60 - Phillip Winn

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:53 pm

  Comments 55 and 58 are related, yes?
  
  And yeah, Skip Tracer is a rocking nom de plume.

• 61 - Eric Olsen

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:55 pm

  yes

• 62 - Bob A. Booey

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:58 pm

  Yeah, everyone knows Alanis is an idiot who has some weird sort of lyrical dyslexia (either that or she's hippie Yoda) -- "Under Rug Swept Problems of Girl Hippie Canada From."
  
  And every freshman grad student TA I had and likely every English teacher who thinks they're hip and clever make fun of this dated song from ten years ago when they teach you what irony means the first day of class. Give it a break already.
  
  Alanis did however, write one great song, "Thank You," which is a beautiful piece of music and melody despite the meandering hippie lyrics about India. I love that song.
  
  Robert Burke! Not bad, I like your writing.
  
  Good call on the John Mayer song ... that song gives me the creeps. It's a stalker serial killer anthem to me and sounds like what Jeffrey Dahmer would have played while filleting his victims had John Mayer been around then. "Daughters" is almost as creepy a song because it's so cynical and calculated to get on adult-contemporary radio so you think John Mayer's a sensitive sweetheart rather than a big poofy-headed geek who brags about all the women he gets with his horrible music. The man's a misogynist, through and through, and he's too wimpy to just write cock rock songs.
  
  I don't mind Dashboard Confessional (I just saw them at Lollapalooza and didn't mind them even though my girlfriend and my other bitches were swooning over that pretty boy lead singer with the high voice). Yeah, Chris Carraba is too damn earnest about every song and seems way too happy to be all that emo with his bad high-school poetry, but that's to be expected with the genre. That "Vindicated" is still a really good song, though, and I don't like emo.
  
  Whoever singled out "Mr Lee" by the Bobettes just doesn't get it. It's a great, simple, silly song, like much of early oldies and doo-wop. It was a song made to be heard at sock hops and soda parlors on summer nights. The same applies to "Doo wah diddy" and teenage trifles like "Thong Song." They're not trying to say anything deep with their lyrics, so the joke's not on them.
  
  Barenaked Ladies is the whitest band ever. Natalie ... I'm shocked, to say the least. I have a long story to share about Barenaked Ladies if anyone's interested ... if it gets the post to #1, maybe I'll contribute it to get more comments going.
  
  That is all.

• 63 - Bob A. Booey

  Jul 28, 2005 at 4:59 pm

  What exactly is the social commentary of "One Week"? Please enlighten me and elaborate.
  
  Thank you.

• 64 - Phillip Winn

  Jul 28, 2005 at 5:06 pm

  If I recall correctly (probably not, haven't heard the song in a while), it's a wry commentary on the foolish self-righteous of most people in relationships. Though the singer clearly recognizes that there is no reason to carry on with the silly tiff that started a week earlier, he doesn't intend to apologize and move one for another week.
  
  We would all be better off to avoid that scenario.

• 65 - Mihos

  Jul 28, 2005 at 5:11 pm

  Diamonds and Pearls by Prince
  This will be the day
  That u will hear me say
  That I will never run away
  
  I am here for u
  Love is meant for two
  Now tell me what u're gonna do
  
  If I gave u diamonds and pearls
  Would u be a happy boy or a girl
  If I could I would give u the world
  But all I can do is just offer u my love
  
  Which one of us is right
  If we always fight
  Why can't we just let love decide (Let love decide)
  
  Am I the weaker man
  Because I understand
  That love must be the master plan (Love is the master plan)
  
  If I gave u diamonds and pearls
  Would u be a happy boy or a girl
  If I could I would give u the world
  But all I can do is just offer u my love
  
  
  
  
  D to the I to the A to the M
  O to the N to the D to the pearls of love
  D to the I to the A to the M (To the M)
  O to the N to the D to the pearls of love
  
  There will come a time (There will come a time)
  When love will blow your mind (Blow your mind)
  And everything U'll look 4 U'll find (Take a look inside)
  
  That will be the time (That will be the time)
  That everything will shine (Forever)
  So bright it makes u colorblind (U will be color blind)
  
  If I gave u diamonds and pearls
  Would u be a happy boy or a girl
  If I could I would give u the world
  All I can do is just offer u my love
  
  If I gave u diamonds and pearls (Pearls)
  Would u be a happy boy or a girl (Yeah yeah)
  If I could I would give u the world (Give u the world)
  All I can do is just offer u my love (All I can do)
  
  If I gave u diamonds and pearls (Diamonds)
  Would u be, would u, would u
  (Would ya, would ya, would ya be happy little baby)
  A happy boy or a girl
  If I could I would give u the world
  
  Artist: Michael Jackson
  Album: Blood On The Dance Floor / History In The Mix
  
  Composed by Michael Jackson and Bryan Loren
  
  A shoo-heh
  Oooh
  Hee hee
  A shoo
  A shoo-heh
  Woh
  A shoo-heh
  Woh
  Hee
  
  Love ain't what it used to be
  That is what they're tellin' me
  Push it in stick it out
  That ain't what it's all about
  
  He wanna do somethin’ freaky to you
  He wanna wrap his arms all around you girl
  He wanna shake it up, shake it down
  Doin’ it right
  He wanna jump back, half flap, doin’ it right
  
  He wanna lay you down
  Turn it up
  Kickin’ it loose
  He wanna fly high, nigh high
  Baby for you's
  
  He wanna motormouth
  Float around
  Baby the back
  He wanna shake it up, shake it down
  Moving rou-ha-hound
  
  Love ain't what it used to be
  (hee)
  That is what they're tellin' me
  Push it in stick it out
  That ain't what it's all about
  (woh)
  
  Susie like to agitate
  Get the boy and make him wait
  Mother's preaching Abraham
  Brothers they don't give a damn
  
  
  
  He wanna do something freaky to you
  He wanna wrap his arms all around you girl
  He wanna do it up, make it hot
  Deep in the night
  He wanna eye ball
  Get all
  Playin’ it right
  
  He wanna turn the key
  Work the sheets
  Groove to the left
  He wanna hot stuff
  Hot love
  Making it wet
  
  He wanna give hot, jump shot
  Groove to the left
  He wanna time bump
  Slam dunk, hump, hump, hump
  
  Hoo
  Hee (Keep it goin')
  Party down
  Hoo
  Hoo
  
  Love ain't what it used to be
  (hoo)
  That is what they're tellin' me
  Push it in stick it out
  That ain't what it's all about
  
  Sister say she love him some
  (She's doin' it, she's doin' it)
  Got his jimmy on the run
  (hoo hoo)
  Mother's preaching Abraham
  (hoo)
  Brothers they don't give a damn
  (oh)
  
  (What)(ho)
  
  Johnny's begging pretty please
  Keep the brother on his knees(Keep the brother on his knees)
  (hee hee)
  Susie likes to agitate
  (She’s doin' it, she’s doin' it)
  Get the boy and make him wait
  (uh)
  
  Sister's married to her hood
  Sayin' that she got it good
  Holy Mary Mercy me
  (hee)
  Can't believe the things I see
  
  Thinkin' that they got it great
  (hoo)
  They doin' what they used to hate
  (uh)
  Push it in stick it out
  (She doin' it)
  (She doin' it)
  That ain't what it's all about
  That ain't what it's all about
  
  Holy Mary Mercy me
  (She's holy moly moly Mary)
  Can't believe the things I see
  (Little things I see)
  (hee hee)
  Mother's preaching Abraham
  (She's preachin‘ Abraham now)
  Brothers they don't give a damn(hoo)
  (hoo hoo)(Holy Mary moly Mary)
  
  Sister say she loves him some
  (She love him some)
  (hee)
  Got his jimmy on the run
  (His jimmy)
  (hee hee)
  Holy Mary Mercy me
  (She's holy, she’s moly)(Holy Mary, moly Mary)
  Can't believe the things I see
  (Keep on goin')
  (hee)
  (hee)
  
  She’s doin' it
  You're dirty
  She’s doin' it
  You're dirty
  She’s nasty
  You're nasty
  You're doin' it
  You're dirty
  You're dirty
  You're doin' it
  You're nasty
  You're doin' it
  She’s dirty
  She’s dirty
  You really don’t want it
  Oooh
  Hoo
  Hoo
  (Go'on now)
  Hoo
  Hoo
  
  (Doh)
  Talk a little something’ then close your eyes
  I gotta make her, close the door
  (She's doin‘ it)
  (She's doin‘ it)
  (She's oh)
  (She’s)
  (hoo)
  (Keep on goin')
  (Party down)
  hoo
  
  Holy Mary mercy me
  (hoo)
  Can't believe the things I see
  Push it in stick it out
  That ain't what it's all about
  
  and that veritable chestnut
  Victoria Beckham - Penis Lyrics
  Goddess on the mountain top
  Burning like a silver flame
  The summit of beauty and love
  And Penis was her name
  
  She's got it
  Yeah, baby, she's got it
  I'm your Penis, I'm your fire
  At your desire
  Well, I'm your Penis, I'm your fire
  At your desire
  
  Her weapons were her crystal eyes
  Making every man a man
  Black as the dark night she was
  Got what no-one else had
  Wa!
  
  She's got it
  Yeah, baby, she's got it
  I'm your Penis, I'm your fire
  At your desire
  Well, I'm your Penis, I'm your fire
  At your desire
  
  Goddess on the mountain top
  Burning like a silver flame
  The summit of beauty and love
  And Penis was her name
  
  She's got it
  Yeah, baby, she's got it
  I'm your Penis, I'm your fire
  At your desire
  Well, I'm your Penis, I'm your fire
  At your desire
  
  
  

• 66 - Bob A. Booey

  Jul 28, 2005 at 5:11 pm

  Yeah, Phillip, I like you, but that's not a social commentary.
  
  The song's just a bunch of random, Dennis Miller-like geek chic pop culture references that mean nothing. Just like their other hit song that referred to Brian Wilson without saying anything, I think they were all about being snarky white boys who thought they were a lot more clever than they were. I learn nothing about society, music or relationships from that awful band.
  
  Good God, I've wasted a whole afternoon already. I should be fired. Enough from me, although I see I'm back in the top commenters for the day :) How do you folks do it? It's hard work.
  
  That is all.

• 67 - visualsimplicity

  Jul 28, 2005 at 5:14 pm

  That sounds about right Phillip, but I don't really know exactly what they're trying to say because I, frankly, can't stand the song. Victor Plenty seems to have it down though.
  
  And Bob A. Booey, what is your story on Barenaked Ladies? If it makes them out to be fools, I'm all for reading it.

• 68 - Pantagruel

  Jul 28, 2005 at 5:32 pm

  You gotta syphon the spinach, you gotta cream the corn
  Sperm scrambles the eggs and a meal is born
  Cookin' like a beginner, but I'm goin' up in her
  I had Fritos for lunch I'm havin' bush for dinner
  Chef Boyardee and the Three Muskateers
  Shove Charleston Chews in their rears like queers
  "Holy moly, guacamole!" said my Chips Ahoy
  I'm gonna pinch a ravioli on the Pillsbury dough...Tall man
  
  Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a boner, baby
  
  We came to pottie...we came to pottie down your throat
  
  
  
  --Mr. Bungle
  

• 69 - Eric Olsen

  Jul 28, 2005 at 5:46 pm

  if Mihos can change Venus to Penis, I can change the opening of "New York New York" to "Start spreading your legs ..."

• 70 - Beth

  Jul 28, 2005 at 7:08 pm

  I realize these are obvious considering the bands they come form, but nonetheless I thought I'd share.
  
  From "Getting away with Murder" by Papa Roach:
  
  I drink my drink and I don't even want to
  I think my thoughts when
  I don't even need to
  I never look back 'cause I don't even want to
  And I don't need to
  Because I'm getting away with murder
  
  Very sad.
  
  and "Pieces" by Sum 41:
  
  If you believe it's in my soul
  I'd say all the words that I know
  Just to see if it would show
  That I'm trying to let you know
  That I'm better off on my own
  
  I dare you to comprehend those lyrics!
  
  Whoever mentioned Sk8er Boi was so right, that song is painful.

• 71 - visualsimplicity

  Jul 28, 2005 at 8:02 pm

  Oh and I realize that I shouldn't expect much from Good Charlotte (you can lump them in with Papa Roach and Sum 41), but it's the fact that they are clearly trying to be witty but aren't, and that bugs me.

• 72 - dan

  Jul 28, 2005 at 8:09 pm

  Apparently, none of you have ever read the lyrics of Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers....
  Me oh my oh
  Me and Guy O
  Freer than a bird
  Cause we're rocking Ohio
  
  The best shit is, he explains his motivations for writing shitty lyrics in his book, Scar Tissue. It's a study in flawed lyricism. Recommended.

• 73 - Phil

  Jul 28, 2005 at 8:21 pm

  It's already been noted that Bruce Johnston and not Barry Manilow wrote "I Write the Songs"; more noteworthy is that he wrote it specifically as a tribute to Brian Wilson, so even given its banality, I'm willing to cut it a little slack.

• 74 - bam

  Jul 28, 2005 at 8:22 pm

  How about the lyrics to "Phoebe Cates" by Fenix TX? It's pretty horrible!
  
  Don't wanna hang around anyone today
  I'm sick of playing the same old games
  Cause I know I can't win them anyway
  And I will dream a different lie
  Stuck in between her thighs and wonder just when I will meet her
  All I really need is someone like Phoebe
  Someone to excite my fantasy
  And every night I'll dream that she is here with me
  And i will be the only one for her
  And I'm wasting time going blind thinking she'll be mine tonight
  Wasting time going blind thinking she'll be mine
  I've been in love since the day I saw fast times
  It's on a permanent rewind and can you guess my favorite part
  I used to like tossing off to her pool scene
  Now I'm kissing TV screens
  She's the only star who's touched my heart on
  All i really need is someone like Phoebe
  Someone to excite my fantasy and every night I'll dream that she is here with me
  And i will be the only one for her
  And I'm looking for a fast time
  Watching out for bright lights
  Send me off to private school
  When I'm with you it's paradise
  Looking for a fast time
  Watching out for bright lights
  Send me off to private school
  When I'm with you it's paradise
  When I'm with you it's paradise
  When I'm with you it's paradise
  When I'm with you it's paradise
  All I really need is someone like Phoebe
  Someone to excite my fantasy and every night I'll dream that she is here with me
  And I will be the only one for her
  And I'm wasting time going blind thinking she'll be mine tonight
  Wasting time going blind thinking she'll be mine tonight
  Wasting time going blind thinking she'll be mine tonight
  Wasting time going blind thinking she'll be mine tonight
  Wasting time going blind thinking she'll be mine tonight
  Wasting time going blind thinking she'll be mine tonight
  

• 75 - Duane

  Jul 28, 2005 at 9:23 pm

  Has anyone besides me noticed that Alanis Morrisette's "Ironic" is full of examples that are not ironic? Think about it.
  
  And about Sammy Hagar's song "I Can't Drive 55"? Haha. What a dope. The speed limit is 65 on the freeways and 70 on the interstate. What awful lyrics. What a dunce.