Not every relationship has a song and probably so much the better because it’s really kind of a corny concept. It either happens spontaneously, as I thought it did with He and I (but was clearly duped), or it doesn’t happen at all. If you have to force it, as some couples do, and there is a whole list of over-played couple’s songs, popular and known and despised by wedding bands the world over, then it doesn’t count.
The best relationship song I ever had was by XTC, performing as The Dukes of Stratosphere and the song was “You’re My Drug.” I can’t remember all the lyrics, but it’s got this really, there’s no way around it, groovy rhythm that just makes you want to move, and it’s all about this guy who is just fucking mad-crazy about this girl who has this drug-like affect on him, which is wonderful. It is basically anti-drug and pro-love, and very, very trippy at the same time. It is like being in love. It sounds that way. It is dizzying, sexy, memorable. Unlike Nick Drake’s Northern Sky which is so damn needy, You’re My Drug is about being fulfilled. It is an anthem about being whole. It says, you are It. It is, in every way, reflective of my relationship with Noah and the words and notes still hold true to this day. Northern Sky is beautiful, at times transcendental in that it says that you literally ‘brighten’ someone’s sky, and who wouldn’t want to believe that. But in the final account, I’m afraid a song like that has been a comet, a shooting star on which I wished and wished and wished, and some of those wishes came true, but not the big one
Now I know that while it is sweet to believe that if you wish upon a star your wish will come true, like throwing coins in a fountain, it is naïve, superstitious, and rarely are these wishes fulfilled. I’ve learned that to get what you want you have to make it happen, do something. That if you place all of your faith on a coin and a fountain, a star that shoots across your horizon, you will stay in one place forever. You’ll be waiting, waiting, hoping like hell, and while you sit still the world goes on all about you and the only way you stand a chance of getting what you want is to throw yourself in to it, immerse yourself in life, and then maybe, just maybe, you have a shot of getting what you want. There are no guarantees, but I do believe that whatever happens, we need to reconcile ourselves to it. Learn to be “still." Sit and cry all you want about the past but know that you can never change what has happened. There is no ‘rewind’ button, sadly. But perhaps, perhaps the future will be great. It is a blank-slate, ready and waiting for us to fill it up with our sorrows and triumphs; it is promise itself. It's time to find a new song and i'm open to suggestions, though right now i'm pretty stuck on just about anything by Ryan Adams, especially Come Pick Me Up. (come pick me up / fuck me up, steal all my records, screw all my friends/ with a smile on your face / and then do it again...)
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