What's wrong with that perfectly nice song, you might ask? Well, first, it's so self referential; it's basically a guy singing about HIMSELF and his wife and how interesting their life is. More interesting than yours, anyways. The audience doesn't need to be reminded they're listening to a celebrity's opinion - a good song should be universal enough for the fans to identify with it on some level. This isn't universal - it's personal.
Secondly, the music is played in a blues style format, every chord change trite & predictable. I just expect more at this point in The Beatles' career. Or more passion.
Finally, there's only John and Paul on this cut - no appearance by George or Ringo. And yes, there are other cuts where there's only one, two or three out of the Fab Four, but they're much better songs for the two reasons cited above.
There's other reasons, but three make a pretty short list all by themselves. I'd be willing to change my mind if there was enough evidence to warrant that, but I'm pretty sure "The Ballad of John and Yoko" just was never that good a song in the first place, a wet noodle of a song standing beside its much bigger and stronger siblings.
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Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Glen Boyd
JC, An interesting concept that is unfortunately a little flawed. First of all, the appearance of only a few Beatles on the track is a criteria that if applied across the board, basically cancels out the entire White Album among other things.
Second, artists singing songs about their own lives and personal experiences is hardly anything new. Much as I personally don't care for singer-songwriters like Jackson Browne for example, you can apply this same standard to any number of them. Can you say James Taylor? How about Carly "You're So Vain" Simon?
Besides "John & Yoko" has some pretty tasty slide licks. So what would get my vote for worst Beatles song? Glad you asked.
And the rotten Apple goes to --- "All Together Now."
Yer welcome!
-Glen
2 - Pico
"All Together Now" is indeed a clunker, but JC would probably call that one a novelty, too.
Myself, I'm rather unfond of "Blue Jay Way". Sorry, George.
3 - Al Barger
You might call this the worst Beatles SINGLE, to distinguish it from a handful of lesser scattered album tracks - particularly one or two of the leftovers they put up as new songs for the Yellow Submarine movie.
I appreciate the point about the self-involved lyrics - though these are more interesting than average in such things. But that kind of diary-entry writing gives John some culpability for the cheesy diary entry folk singer lyrics of Alanis Morisette singing about her menstrual cycles, or whatever it is that she carries on about. And that narcissistic lyric writing goes to all the rappers carrying on about the size of their paychecks and crap.
Still, "The Ballad of John and Yoko" actually has a fine honest-to-God melody. That's the main nut right there, even if the half-Beatles arrangement is a less than their best.
4 - Jamie
I'm going to have to disagree. If I can pick from the entire Beatles catalog it would have to be "What's the new Mary Jane" from Anthology. Terrible. From their non-Anthology catalog it have to be Mr. Moonlight.
5 - JC Mosquito
All good points, everyone, and all you choices are also contenders for the throne.
One point that I never got to (I was on my way out of town) was Lennon's "Christ you know it ain't easy" tag line in the chorus. On one hand it's kind of humorous when matched with the "They're gonna crucify me" line. On the other hand, taking a shot at all the fundamentalists who turned on the Beatles during the Beatles vs. Jesus popularity issue was just too easy.
Mr. Barger - yep, the worst single for sure.
Pico - yep, BJW is bad, but not worst in my opinion.
Jamie - Mary Jane for me was just in the same category as Rev 9 - a soundscape or something - not a song.
Mr. Boyd - The lack of Beatles on BJY or the White album just accentuates any flaw in the songs. And so yes, lots of the White Album is in the running too. The difference I think is that the White Album turned into a bit of a commpetition between, John, Paul, George, John & Paul as a team, The Beatles as a unit & George Martin as a producer in terms of establishing a musical vision, so the songs are acutally pretty good. Notice Ringo was the one who actually quit for a few days. All Together Now was my second choice at any rate. And we'll have that confessional singer/songwriter dust up another time, if you can wait for a bit. :)
Remember - the worst of the Lads from Liverpool is way better than the best of some other Beatlewannabes.
6 - Bill
There are no bad Beatles songs in my book. Even the so called "obvious ones" as you put it, are great. I absolutely love the sound collage of "Revolutin 9." This is where the Beatles invented sampling that is commonly used in hip hop today. I love it. It is so bold, entertaining and experimental.
As for "You Know My Name," I have often wondered what is it that people dislike about this song so much. It's absolutely hilarious. John Lennon's vocal grunts and mumblings at the end of the recording are pure comedy genius in the best tradition of Monty Python and The Goons! I'm still scratching my head over the reasons why people hate this enjoyable novelty record so much.
Now let's also get something perfectly clear; "The Ballad of John and Yoko" is by far one of the best records The Beatles or anyone else has ever made!!!! I'm shocked that you don't like it.
I would think someone might pick "Free as a Bird" or "Real Love" over that tune any day. I find those songs to be very good myself, but just for Jeff Lynne's horrible ELO production alone it has "The Ballad of John and Yoko" beat hands down.
7 - Dave
I guess you'd have to add "Yesterday" to the list considering only Paul played on it, with George Martin on orchestration.
8 - Bill
I must say that I am pleased that no one has picked a Pete Best era song as the worst Beatles song of all time. Pete was a great drummer and this forum proves it! No one has picked any songs from the Decca tapes, Beatles/Sheridan recordings or Pete's Beatles version of "Love Me Do" as a bad song!
The Beatles never should have fired Pete. It is obvious from this thread that everyone likes him far better than Ringo. Most of the songs that you guys have picked feature Ringo Starr on drums.
See the connection? Ringo ruined more than a few great Beatles tunes.
9 - John
I feel particularly inclined to opine on this since I'm in the middle of a very deep Beatles obsession/regression. I heard my first Beatles at 12, and after 40 years of playing guitar and piano, I find myself just about exclusively appreciating the music that started it all, for me anyway. I'm also a Tom Waits fanatic, but mainly I just keep going back to the Beatles. They, Elvis, Little Richard, Sam Cooke, Otis, Marvelettes, Supremes, Ronnetes, etc., created/started all this, and it's just amazing. And I know, I'm leaving out a lot.
But this topic? Worst Beatle track ever? Come on, it's got to be Yellow Submarine. I will listen to EVERYTHING from 1962 to 1969, but I will always skip that track when it comes up. Fluff, junk, filler, whatever you want to call it. But just does not stand up with the rest of the catalog.
Now, Ballad of John and Yoko? No problems with that. You must remember the events that we're going on at the time. I don't think it was a celebrity being narcissistic, but more of a great poet/writer putting into music everything that was frustrating/affecting him. And I'm fine with that.
Pico. All Together Now and Blue Jay Way, again, put them in perspective of the times.
Except for Yellow Sub, I really can't find anything bad in the entire catalog. But then again, I'm a fanatic about this music. I guess it all comes down to: just appreciate it and love it.
John
(and...wish it was 1964 again)!
10 - Bill
I love "Yellow Submarine!" It's one of THE greatest children's songs of all time!
This goes back to my Ringo theory. People just don't like the guy. Pete Best should have stayed in the group.
I also disagree with "All Together Now" and "Blue Jay Way." They are both classics in my book. Another GREAT children's song and a fantastic George Harrison gem.
11 - celebdrive
a student of all things beatle since 1966 and my choice without hesitation is "Don't Pass Me By"
thank you
12 - JC Mosquito
I never thought of Don't Pass Me By as being a particularly good song until I heard the Georgia Satellites' absolutley blistering rendition of it.
"Now, Ballad of John and Yoko? No problems with that. You must remember the events that we're going on at the time. I don't think it was a celebrity being narcissistic, but more of a great poet/writer putting into music everything that was frustrating/affecting him. And I'm fine with that." - John
Well, John, that's the best point yet I've heard in favor of this song yet. But I think Lennon did a better job of this on the Plastic Ono Band album. Sure, it's an album as opposed to a single, but it's by far a much deeper & richer analysis of the complexity of stardom and its relationship to ego.
Thanx for the comments, all!
Skeeter.
13 - Bill
"Don't Pass Me By." Another Ringo song. Yep, they blew it when they sacked Pete. That has to be THE single worst decision the Beatles ever made.
I've always enjoyed "Don't Pass Me By", but Pete would have undoubtedly come up with something stronger.
14 - kurt
US gold certification for `The Ballad Of John And Yoko'. Jul 17, 1969. Number 1 hit...
The Ballad of John and Yoko is an awesome tune. With respect to the era in which it was written it was a celebration of John and Yoko's out of control lifestyles. I think it is one of their best efforts. Plus, it was recorded during a time of high tension between Paul and John. The fact they got together and made a fine record by themselves proves conclusively what a force of nature these two were together. The lyrics, tune and production all first class.
This article is pure garabage. Of all articles of this ilk, I have never read anybody putting Ballad on the list. I think this guy simply does not like John and Yoko and is no true Beatles fan.
As for worst Beatles song (and, yes there has to be one or two), it has to be Maxwells Silver Hammer. Talk about trite and forgetful ramblings. John was quoted as hating it with a passion. With that Mr. Lennon was right... again.
15 - JC Mosquito
Hi, Kurt,
It's got nothing to do with being a fan, or liking John and/or Yoko - it's about the song. It's simply a melodically and harmonically uninteresting affair that doesn't even lope along at midtempo - it plods. McCartney is a multitalented musician, but somehow he turns in a sterile drumming performance. And Lennon, the brilliant mind who wrote classics like I Am the Walris and Jealous Guy - I mean, what? He couldn't come up with a better title? Why didn't he just call it A Song about Me and Wife and How Nobody Understands Us?
Sorry - I do consider myself a real fan, and the Beatles set the bar so high that even they couldn't always reach it. Frankly I'm surpised that George allowed it to be released under the Beatles' name - I wouldn't think he'd want to be held responsible for that slide guitar work.
Oh, Maxwell's Hammer - yeah, that's right up there in the inner circle of icky tunes.
Oh, and Gold certification - doesn't matter to me. because using that a measure of quality puts any Britney Spears wannabe in the same league as Das Beatleboize, which is just wrong.
Mach schau indeed! Thanx for the comment, though - gotta luv people's passion for good music!
Skeeter.
16 - Bill
"Maxwell's Silver Hammer" is pure genius!!! I don't get you guys. A lot of people hate that song, but I've always loved it. None of the songs anyone has mentioned here is truly awful.
You mean to tell me that all of you feel that "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", "Ballad of John and Yoko", "Yellow Submarine", "Revolution # 9", "All Together Now" and "You Know My Name" are all worse to you than "You'll Be Mine" from the album ANTHOLOGY 1?
17 - Temple Stark
It's a damning self-indictment to say "Anyone who knows me well knows I prefer to avoid opening the proverbial can o' worms if I can help it ... " and then use that as if a person is "forced" to write a piece to try and rationalize it. Self-indulgent, maybe. It's a sad tactic which "usually" preceeds the most idiotic blather about swimming against the tide as can possibly be imagined.
Luckily, you weren't going for needless shock value and simply drawing attention to yourself or saying you were right and everyone else can go F themselves. Your intro to get to the point was slightly long-winded, though, as I am breathlessly reenacting here BTW).
I'd disagree with you but you didn't couch the whole question in demeaning and absolutist terms so it makes the discussion over something that's not at all important in any case, more pleasurable.
I love that "Christ, you know it ain't easy" line. It just comes out as the most sincere line in the whole song. Self-indulgent as you say, sure, but honest. It was a far broader group than fundamentalists who were offended back then about the "Bigger than Jesus" line. They shouldn't have been, but think how kinda POed we get today when people say they're the best evah.
I'm in complete agreement with John Comment #9 (no . 9 no. 9). Yellow Sumbarine is sing songy ugly. The other songs mentioned here can and easily are considered experiments (which are also self-indulgent, but you're not taking them apart for this reason) but Yellow Submarine is an over-produced unpleasantness. The fact that it's a great kid's song is not a mitigating factor for the simple reason that I'm not a kid anymore.
"Day in the Life" and "Something" are two songs I enjoy.
18 - Christopher Rose
What about the inane drivel that is "Blackbird"? Sometimes I just want to give McCartney a right good kicking for some of the dreck he's produced.
19 - JC Mosquito
Thanx for the pointers on style, Temple - really - no sarcasm here. I should've given it a couple more edits - I sometimes forget there're people out there who take their rock and roll even more seriously than I do.
Like I said, though, there are other contenders for the title here, but fortunately, most of the Beatles' catalog has aged very well indeed. Even if you take out all of the songs mentioned above, it's a very small portion of their total output as writers. As I've mentioned in others posts elsewhere, a hot baseball player might be batting .400, which means he hits four out of ten but misses six. What are the Beatles' batting - .900 or more? Pretty good, really, I can forgive the occasional dud, and even the duddest, whatever it might be.
Thanx for the gentle nudgeola, be seein' ya 'round maybe,
Skeeter.
20 - Lynn McKenzie
I don't agree with you, JC, but I understand where you're coming from.
I feel the same way about "Don't Let Me Down". It plods, and it's repetitious. I want to scream at them to speed it up, for crying out loud.
The version on Let It Be...Naked is much better, though, and made it worth buying the whole lousy album.
21 - JC Mosquito
Interesting... some people like the cleaned up Let It Be, others don't, but I agree with you - I like it just fine. That's a whole other discussion - probably already been done on bc.
Thanx for your comment!
Sk.
22 - John
While I agree wuth Temple on Yellow Sub, I also feel you're a little hatsh on JC. I don't feel he was being self-indulgent or long-winded. But, then again, given the subject matter we're discussing, how can anyone refrain from being biased? I mean, the Beatles evoke all the emotions and sentiments you/we all grew up with. I've realized that it's not possible to NOT be passionate about your feelings for "the band" if you grew up to their soundtrack. And everybody differs, and everybody takes away something different. Isn't that the beauty of the Beatles? Everyone mostly has a different perspective, but, God, how they've influenced us all!
I know that I'm glad to have found this forum, and to hear other folk's views. In my mind, these four guys have been the greatest cultural influence of the last 4 decades, and it's great to interact with others who realize that importance. Thanks!
John
23 - T. G.
Can't believe anyone would put down "Mr. Moonlight"! It's totally great! Right from the very beginning with John's opening bluesy wail and all the way to the final fade out! Riveting and completely original! And it wasn't their song. Only a cover version.
If you ask me what I think is weak, it would be another cover version called "Matchbox" by Carl Perkins. (Don't get me wrong. Carl is still great! And love the Beatles cover of "Honey Don't"}
24 - Joseph Myers
Why has nobody yet slammed "The Inner Light"? The song is wretched!
25 - Bill
Joseph,
No one has slammed "The Inner Light" because it is fantastic!!! It's one of my all time favorite Beatles recordings. I love its use of the sitar.
Maybe what we should be discussing is songs vs. recordings. There is a huge difference. The Beatles were able to take an average song and record it using such inventive ideas and instrumentation (string quartets, orchestration, sitars, sound effects, tape loops and vocal effects) that it became an absolute masterpiece! That's why most cover versions of their music is pretty lame. They were so good they could make ANYTHING sound great.
Still, no one has picked a song that Pete Best drummed on. I see a lot of Ringo tunes being slammed though.