Naming bands is not an exact science and it's admittedly easier to know what not to do than to figure out how to do it right. It is important to listen to the masters. Unfortunately, for every ? and the Mysterians or Black Sabbath, there are a thousand Alice Donuts and Big Head Todd and the Monsters. It's not impossible to come up with a classic band name these days (see The Darkness), it just takes a lot of restraint and a moment of inspiration. For any bands out there looking for that spark, allow me to suggest Cletus and the Federlines. Your first album can be called Can You Handle Our Truth?
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Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Vern Halen
Hilarious article!
What about Homer Simpson & the B Sharps? Good, bad, or indifferent?
2 - Pete Blackwell
Homer Simpson & the B Sharps is a classic. As is Fingerbang, the boy band from South Park.
3 - Matthew T. Sussman
Was Lynyrd Skynyrd intentionally misspelled on your list as well?
4 - BRICKLAYER
Bob Dylan-I hate that stupid name.
5 - Eric Olsen
I have never comprehended the difficulty with spelling Lynyrd Skynyrd, since every freaking vowel is a "y"
6 - Eric Olsen
nice job Pete and I agree with you more often than not; though I am certain you realize the entire exercise is REALLY subjective
7 - Mark Saleski
except for Hoobastank, which has been mathematically proven to be the dumbest bandname of all time.
i think Bricklayer wrote the proof out somewhere around here....
;-)
8 - Eric Olsen
that is one butt-huffingly bad name
9 - Eric Olsen
isn't the very notion of naming a band at all hopelessly jejune and pedantic? Can't we just call them all what they really are: music?
10 - Craig Lyndall
You make a good point Eric, Jejune is another horrible band name. Oh, you meant the actual word and not the band?
Got it.
11 - Pete Blackwell
Sorry about the Skynyrd misspelling. I feel like Neil Young.
12 - td
Nice article.
I disagree on Rage Against the Machine, but otherwise a good list.
I'd like to submit Maroon 5's first name: Kara's Flowers.
13 - The Theory
great article. i agree with most of it except the numbers. Numbers in number form suck... but written out numbers don't have to suck. For instance, Sixteen Horsepower. Though, I disagree about Gang of Four... terrible band name!
14 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
i half way through this great post, but alread i must comment - sham 69 is a GREAT bandname.
and in time spent in wonderful punk-bands here in the ol' hometown, i did indeed commit on of these sins, by being in a band called section 23, but, on the other hand, i think i was also in a band that has the best name i've ever heard, so there.
it was called Julian's Boyfriend.
i still count that as proof enough of the genius of my good friend who done the singin'.
15 - Bennett
Google Bomber - credit to Temple
Excellent post Pete. Especially the bold sub categories. I was in a band that briefly went by Rubber Mohawk, which I thought was decent, we also did one session as Swell Bennett for some drunken reason...
Thanks for the laugh!
16 - The Proprietor
There were some ahem, interesting band names back in the psychedelic era of course. The Charging Tyrannosaurus of Despair, the Peanut Butter Conspiracy, the Underground Balloon Corps and the ever-popular Electric Rectum (presumably either a play on the Electric Prunes or a delightfully subversive urban legend).
Then again, we were scraping banana skins in an effort to gain cosmic consciousness in those days as well :-)
17 - BRICKLAYER
Tom Petty-I hate that stupid name!
18 - Eric Olsen
you're right: Tom Magnanimous would be SO much better
19 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
EO - hahahahhahaha
20 - Eric Olsen
thanks Duker, made my day
21 - Antfreeze
Great post Pete. I always liked one of my brothers band's name, "The Beans". Also enjoyed a band named, "Stool Softeners". At the other end of the spectrum I once saw a sign for a band named "Totally Awesome". Tell me that don't suck.
22 - Eric Olsen
I always thought the Skate Nigs packed a punch
23 - Mark Saleski
Colostomy Grab Bag.
no wait, that's the grossest name.
(actually not even sure if that's a band name...i read it somewhere. prolly in the liberal media).
24 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
the best band name ever, you'll be aware, is the dead kennedys. and jello biafra is the best stage-name ever.
25 - Bennett
Worst SF band NAME was Pearl Harbor and the Explosions. Worst band? Journey, and the name sucks too!