Selected by J Shifty of Ribaldry & Schmaltz
9. Haterush
A few months ago, I noticed that a European heavy metal label called, "Black Lotus" release a number of albums onto rhapsody. Most of these releases were from bands coming from Greece and Sweden and they were chock full of quality headbanging. It actually proved to be quite a rewarding surprise. I even compiled a Radish list called Greek Power Metal which can be found in the Rhapsody Radish archives. Among the bands I discovered was probably the ugliest looking group I have ever seen called, "Haterush." These guys can jam pretty well but MAN OH, MAN...These guys are ugly!
Selected by Pantagruel of the Radish Message Board
10. Gwar
Because I just can't bring myself to call an actual person "the ugliest musician ever," how about an entire band? I selected GWAR as the ugliest band to walk the earth. Anyone in their mid- to late-20's will remember GWAR as the object of Beavis and Butthead's eternal adoration and worship, which probably got them the recognition they still enjoy today. Categorized in Rhapsody as "Comedy Rock," it's easier to laugh at the ridiculous getups these guys wear than the actual music. Especially known for showering their audiences with fake blood, vomit and other bodily fluids, the erstwhile "aliens bent on destroying earth" attempt to destroy and/or corrupt humans whenever possible. Their heavy-metal theater act has been going on for 20 years now, but the sheer monstrosity that is GWAR will go on...forever.
Selected by Amanda of Rhapsody in Blog
11. Roger Waters (Pink Floyd)
Despite everyone who's ever been identified as a Rolling Stone, I'm always shocked to see Roger Waters's face, particularly in the early photos (like the one on the Piper at the Gates of Dawn cover): his face looks as though it's been squeezed through a soda bottle and smushed. What really shocked me after I saw that photo was when I discovered that it hadn't been distorted or psychedelicized. That was actually what he looked like!
Since then, well...on the one hand he gets less horrifying as he ages, but on the other hand, now he's both old AND ugly. Rarely a good combination.
Oh...and his nasal shriek when he sings is almost as hideous as his face. That's what truly places him in the Hall of Homely.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Eric Olsen
fascinating and thanks for asking me to participate: I see many of my colleagues included "spiritual" ugliness in their deliberations
2 - Robert
Yea, I thought that the "spiritually ugly" route was a good way to go. I agree with largehearted boy on Madonna, but you know, after examining her above picture closely. Those eybrows and that hook nose really show how physicaly unatractive the woman was before the surgery and fashion upgrades.
3 - Mike
Wow. Nobody said Frank Zappa in specific, or the Mothers of Invention as a whole? Not only are they ugly, but they wear ugly dresses!
4 - Nancy
I still think after all these years that Mick Jagger is one of the ugliest (physically) critters ever to prance on a stage.
5 - Bob A. Booey
I like this piece a lot, especially the pictures. Robert Burke rivals Teletart for my newest darling Blogcritic that I adore :) I hereby nominate him for the main music critic for this site rather than the ridiculous Senator Al Barger. Unlike my past nominations, you all know Robert Burke is the far, far better writer and totally deserves it.
He's a legend and a hero, but Joey Ramone was one weird, ugly mofo. He was some kind of alien mutant, who had like 3 rows of tiny shark teeth and an odd head.
John Mayer is an ugly goofy dork.
Scott Stapp, formerly of Creed, was a fat ugly dork. Ditto for Steve, the lead singer from Smashmouth. There haven't been many fat lead singers in rock bands, so they tend to stand out.
Rick Ocasek might deserve on that list because of his googly eye.
I'll have to think of some others.
That is all.
6 - BRICKLAYER
Hows about a shot of yer own mugs for comparison?
7 - BRICKLAYER
Oh, and you mistakenly posted a picture of Richard Ramirez instead of Alex Van Halen...wait a minute, Richard Ramirez IS Alex Van Halen!!!!!!!
8 - Bob A. Booey
Burke is so right about Gene Simmons, one of the biggest douchebags fronting one of the worst bands in human history.
That is all.
9 - BRICKLAYER
Of course, Alex got more play on a bad night when he was semi-comatose, lying on the floor with vomit all over him than we've all collectively bagged in our entire lives. And really, isn't that what's most important?
np: Megadeth-"Scorpion"
10 - Mark Saleski
yow, i like the sonny & cher reference in the Jim Skafish bit...because that dude looks like sonny & cher put together.
creepy.
11 - ClubhouseCancer
Re Comment 3: "I think it's your mind."
12 - Nancy
Just what is Barger a senator of? Or where?
13 - Eric Olsen
BAB, what is with the "main music reviewer" references all the time? Surely you are familiar enough with the site to know there is no such thing and that dozens of writers post music reviews every week.
Nancy, Al was the Libertarian candidate for the Senate from Indiana last year
14 - Eric Olsen
Mark, Thanks - did you know Skafish? (musically, that is)
15 - Mark Saleski
no, actually i don't. should i?
(and let this be proof to those that know me that i don't own every freaking recording ever made...tho i'm workin' on it!)
16 - Bob A. Booey
I'm easily confused. I see "New CDs" next to the Senator's name. Robert Burke is a national treasure.
That is all.
17 - BRICKLAYER
It was downright cruel of you to post a picture of Robert Waters after he began the hormone injection therapy treatments. If a man wants to alter himself to look like the Queen Mother, that's his business!
18 - Eric Olsen
no, that was Nicolas Cage
New CD releases is simply a weekly feature Al does
19 - Eric Olsen
Mark, yes, you should really check the guy out - his site is here. That first album on IRS was pretty great
20 - Temple Stark
Are all the comments written by the "Selected by..." authors? The paragraph from Joan Hiller/Publicist, Sub Pop Records particularly caught my eye.
Also "I recently asked some of the Internet's top music sites" may not be entirely truthful here. Sorry.
Asked some music types would seem to fit the bill, however.
And only one woman? Madonna's not even ugly.
21 - Eric Olsen
yes, each selector wrote his/her section
22 - Eric Olsen
and I agree Madonna isn't ugly, but she is broken
23 - Robert
Temple,
Yes, all text that goes with each selection was written by the person who selected it.
And as far as I'm concerned these ARE "some of the Internet's top music sites". If you don't agree with me go collect your own list from your own favorites. In the meantime I will continue to give praise where I choose to. These are, after all, MY OPINION pieces.
24 - Robert
If you guys would read what largehearted boy said you would see he chose Madonna because of the "internal ugliness" she radiates.
Although I think those eybrows could comfortably house a family of bush monkeys.
25 - Eric Olsen
Robert, you are so avuncular toward your writers