As a guy who has not only written about, but also obsessed heavily — and some would say rather unhealthily — over rock and roll for the better part of five decades now, my own personal record collection has long been a source of personal pride to me. So much so in fact, that I consider it to be a unique part of my identity. But the truth is that I'm also guilty of that worst of music-snob crimes. I actually judge other people by their record collections.
Think I'm kidding?
There are a lot of reasons that at 53 years old I'm still single, most of which are probably best left unexplored here. But I'm reasonably certain that at least a few of them have to do with the numerous times I've gone over to a potential Mrs. Right's house for dinner, only to be promptly chased out on a rail for snickering a little too loudly at the Kenny G or Sting CD's sitting proudly atop her stereo.
Hey, I love to get lucky as much as the next guy. But all the candlelight and expensive wine in the world just can't warm me up to a woman who actually wears her Phil Collins albums on her sleeve like some kind of proud badge of adult-contemporary honor. Something about all that Su-Su-pseudo-hipness just really dampens the mood for me, okay?
Beyond my love life (or lack thereof) though, this affliction has likewise negatively impacted my professional career. The fact that I spend my unemployed days sleeping well into the afternoon, and my nights toiling endlessly over articles like this one, is no accident. Word of advice to the still employed: Never tell your boss his record collection sucks.
There is a true story I can now recount, about how I was once physically thrown out of the home of a former employer for making a snide comment about his choice in music. I believe the offending quote was something along the lines of how the seventies had called and wanted their 8-tracks back, once I examined his music collection and found it more than a bit heavy on artists like The Steve Miller Band, Styx, and Supertramp.
That guy who goes straight to your sound system when invited over for the big game on Sunday? Yup, that's me. Guilty as charged.
Article comments
1 - Jon Sobel
Year of the cat, dude... year of the cat. Oh, and y'know, I've always felt that when it comes to Nirvana, it wasn't the Stooges who did it first... it was the Troggs.
2 - Glen Boyd
Touche' my man. Yes sir, Touche' indeed.
3 - zingzing
hilarious, if sad and honest. i've judged people on their music taste before, made girlfriends angry by vocally criticizing their choice of music at their house or in their car or in front of their friends or... well, just about anytime/place that it stinks. i'll generally be attracted to women by looks, fall in love because of personality, but stick with a relationship depending on whether or not i can convert her into decent musical taste. relationships are work, but only when the music taste just isn't there.
i choose my friends based a lot on music taste, and even once got into a fist fight with a good friend of mine because we didn't feel the same way about a drummer (it was shellac's drummer, so he might have appreciated it).
still, i think that comparing music taste is easy. you can throw out names left and right, figure out what someone likes about something in 4 minutes (as opposed to 2 hours for movies or a week for books), it's cheap, it's got common history, it's accessible.
and because comparing music taste is easy, it's a good way to test if two people have some common interests. someone who's into adventurous music will be into other parts of culture in the same way. so it's a good way to establish what kind of relationship you'll have with a person.
4 - Glen Boyd
I broke up with a girl once based on the fact that she'd never heard of Bob Dylan, but loved Styx. I figured there was no way it could possibly last...
-Glen
5 - Greg Barbrick
Pretty funny Glen, and I love the albums you chose to illustrate your point.
But what kind of friend would drunkenly commandeer your record collection, then pass out on your couch? Sheesh!
Oh yeah...
6 - Glen Boyd
The Amazon picks at the end ring any bells? LOL...
-Glen
7 - Mark Saleski
i think it's possible to see if you've got something in common with someone by looking at their collection, though i don't know that the examples of disagreement really point to much.
what i mean is that everybody has things they don't like or are supposed to like but don't...and i don't think it really means much. glen's example of Led Zep IV. or, to use examples missing from my own collection: New Order, Joy Division, and early Genesis. most of the manchester stuff left me cold as did the proggier Genesis era. what does that mean? i dunno. i don't think anything, really (though both glen and zing will probably disagree).
8 - Lisa McKay
Really good read, Glen, although I have to say my own views probably line up more with Mr. Saleski's. My husband and I (34 years married now, mind you) have fairly divergent musical tastes, although certainly there are areas of overlap.
I think it's probably more interesting to be with someone who encourages you to experience music you might not gravitate to on your own (I have to credit my husband with developing my taste in classical music, for example), and vice versa.
I suspect that what some people's tastes convey is a lack of curiosity, which is a deal-breaker in and of itself, but probably extends to more than just their musical collection if you really stop and think about it. In other words, it's a symptom, not a disease.
9 - Kit O'Toole
Excellent article, Glen. I found myself smiling numerous times, recognizing times when I've judged people based on their collections. Of course, I have to say it--you don't have "Band on the Run"? Sacrilege, man! :)
10 - Warren Melnick
It is good to hear that you are still open to newer prog like Porcupine Tree. So many in our generation stopped being open minded to bands like this a long time ago. But I do have to echo Kit here. No Band on the Run?
11 - zingzing
saleski--you and i could never date. not that that's an issue. it's inhuman to dislike new order. go listen to "the perfect kiss" on youtube. there's a studio live version on there that's marvelous. (it's the official video.) phil spector level stuff towards the end.
as far as early genesis goes, "prog" is a dirty word in my house. although i do like a lot of peter gabriel solo material.
12 - Cindy
I'm going with what Mark and Lisa said.
I have learned to like all sorts of music. I even like some opera. Never learned to like 'Band on the Run' though. Still if I were single and I liked someone, he could like it and it wouldn't make a difference to me.
Year of the Cat--love that! :-)
13 - Mark Saleski
sorry zing, that song makes me cringe. so much for our romantic future. ;-)
14 - Glen Boyd
Thanks for the comments everyone. As far as the whole Band On The Run thing goes, I always liked Speed Of Sound and Venus & Mars better, but that's just me I guess.
As for Zing and Saleski? Too scary a thought to even consider...LOL...
-Glen
15 - Greg Barbrick
Just a bit of clarification:
The exact quote was: "He has Duran Duran Arena?" (indignant question)
"And he doesn't have Band On The Run?" (righteous anger)
Glen rocks, but needs Band On The Run, Who's Next, and Sandinista! in his collection. He does have Jar Of Flies though.
-Greg
16 - Glen Boyd
Yes I do have Jar Of Flies...as you are always so sure to remind of each and every time I see you...
-Glen
17 - A Geek Girl
Gah. I can't stop laughing. Drunken friends and great music. Is there anything more precious in life?
Just went rounds --over shrimp, crab legs and Ying Ling-- with a friend in 'the business' over my opinion of Clapton. A man he knows and is fond of.
The best part of our argument? That it will be continued over wings and beer again tomorrow night. Gotta love a good music fight!