DJR: I think we're gonna have to shoot her, General Sir. I mean, if we put her in a Gap in a mall and play her records, well that'd be leaving her music around where someone could accidentally find it and hear it. In WSN, the radio belongs to The People. There will be no Britney on the radio. The People's Bandwidth will not stand for it.
Against. The. Wall.
GA: Perhaps you're right, Minister. Maybe it would be more humane to just put her down.
Jon Bon Jovi
DJR: I struggled for a few minutes deciding which over-the-hill dinosaur deserved inclusion in the registry of Enemies of The People: Jon Bon Jovi or Paul McCartney. In the end, Bon Jovi was the easy choice. At least McCartney used to be good.
As for Bon Jovi. talk about re-education. The Enemies have conspired to re-write Jon Bon Jovi's history. There are those who have forgiven Bon Jovi his hair metal sins even as he rapes the songbook of fellow New Jerseyian Bruce Springsteen (and gets it all wrong, of course).
He will serve at Camp Mimi where he will write the following sentence
Following his release from Camp Mimi he will work in a scarf-manufacturing sweat shop until his death, which cannot come soon enough.
GA: Hey, go easy on snorting them iguana glands there, Minister. Yes, Jon Bon Jovi will be up against the wall. Obviously that has to be.
But Paul McCartney is a holy man. Got to have respect for the author of "Helter Skelter" and Silly Love Songs." OK, so his more recent albums haven't been up to snuff. But actually, I'll give him pretty decent marks for the new one.
Ask yourself, WWJD? What would Jack do? Paul McCartney may be past his prime, but we must revere our elders as Jack reveres Loretta Lynn.
In White Stripes Nation, we do not leave our old folk out on to die in the cold- unless you're talking about Rod Stewart. He's too old and decrepit to qualify now as a real enemy, but "Maggie Mae" doesn't make up for "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy." One more rote album of Broadway standards, and he could get awfully cold out on that ice floe.