In White Stripes Nation, Geldof will be doing community service performing in a clown outfit for children's birthday parties, like Homey the Clown. A suitable soundtrack for this service will doubtless contain a lot of class Coasters records, particularly "Charlie Brown."
Ashlee and Jessica Simpson
LM: Melt them down for experimentation. We need to find a way to recycle plastic anyway, right?
DJR: If we don't melt them down, which would actually be fun to watch, we could force them to spend the rest of their lives working at a soup kitchen (wearing clothes, mind you) or some such shelter. They got a lot of money for doing very little to better the cause of humanity. Let us balance the scales requiring them to do much for humanity and receiving nothing monetarily in return.
GA: Besides any musical considerations, I'll just say that Jessica Simpson isn't fit to fill Catherine Bach's Daisy Dukes.
GA: Look, Pretty Ricky sucks real bad as any kind of music. But it's so much more aggravated than merely sucking. They just do not sound very gentlemanly AT ALL.
Worst of all, they don't sound like they're even really enjoying their determined whoring. Does this sound like fun, or does it sound like them and their hoes are punching the clock? "you tha worker and I'm tha boss/ grab your pink slip girl, let me lay you off"
Their rehabilitation must begin with learning some manners and respect for young ladies. Start with some classes at the Smokey Robinson School for Young Gentlemen.
DJR: Garbage in, garbage out.
She combined hip hop, reggae, pop, and marching band pep rallies
(atrocious forms of music, all) and came up with something worse:
Love. Angel. Music. Baby. It is bad enough when the youth fill
their songs with vapid lyrics describing shallow, high school emotions.
When you are a 36-year old mother-to-be, it is embarrassing. It is
criminal. It will not escape The People's Judgment.
Gwen's age works against her. She might be past the point of re-education. She will be sentenced to life in Camp Mimi without the possibility of parole or another recording contract (this includes cameos). Her child will be banished to a musicless facility in Greenland in the hopes of preventing a repeat of the sins of her mother (and father).