Generalissimo Alberto: I'm making a list, and checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty and nice...
Legendary Monkey: Um... Alberto, Christmas was two weeks ago. Is this one of those deals like where Uncle Duke slept for weeks through the Doonesbury holidays after snorting too much extract of iguana glands?
GA: Oh no, oh Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart. A snootfull of iguana glands does sound good, but this is much more fun than Christmas: I'm working on an official White Stripes Nation enemies list for the new year.
LM: Boy, what in the hell are you on? Are you mixing up dosages again?
GA: Oh, allow me to elucidate. As so often in life, I'm drawing inspiration from my hero Elvis Costello. Starting out in the 70s, he made a big point of carrying around a little black book that he would whip out to show journalists. He said he was using it to record the names of all the people who had crossed him on whom he planned to seek revenge when he got to be a big powerful star.
So, like Elvis Costello- and Richard Nixon and Joseph McCarthy before him- I'm working up a list of enemies of The People who must eventually face the lash of revolutionary justice.
LM: Uh... y'know, I'm not sure that a list of... enemies is really going to help the cause here. Flies, honey, that old drill may be best.
GA: Yeah, yeah, peace and love and reconciliation. Dubya tried making nice with Ted Kennedy, and what good did it do him? He just got his hat handed to him, and ended up looking weak, like a fool.
No, the opposition must be made to FEAR the mighty wrath of the White Stripes, and respect my authorita! To that end, I'm working us up a list of people who must be Dealt With in an appropriately harsh poetic manner.
LM: Let me see this list.
Wait a minute... Alberto, this looks more like a Big Chief pad than a little black book. Speaking of hero worship and all, do I need to buy you a green hat or--
Oh. Oh, wait, I think you sold me on this. This is an idea I can get behind! Garth Brooks, check. Coldplay, double check. Pretty Ricky certainly have it coming.