We’ve all heard the anthems to self-pity and I even did a short-list a while back last summer of stadium self-pity songs and there is likely some cross-over here. But here I try to give a deeper analysis and a bit more of the why I felt these songs made the List of Self Pity of Stadium Self-Pity and in some cases, just out and out masochism. (You’ll see.)
In some cases, these singers may as well wear hair shirts to punish themselves and/or their lovers for leaving or grieving them so, they hurt so much. Here there is bitterness and bile but mostly, there is just sorrow and hurt. So read on, and you’ll find some classics and no doubt, the minute I turn this in, I’ll think of 15 or more I should have included that I should have included but did not. There were many by Elliott Smith that could have made the list but I’ll leave that up to you to decide… I couldn’t choose just one. There are other singers as well, bands, who really belong here but again, just didn’t quite make the cut. I tried to pick those who fit the list and to keep the list within reason. Maybe if there is good response I can do a continuation of the list or if you like this idea of themes then perhaps I can drum up some others….
Obviously, I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston almost made the list. (There is a long story behind that, involving a lawsuit in Britain and a distraught young man whose boyfriend had just left him and who would not stop playing the song. If fact, he played it over and over and over again until finally his condo board took him to court and won and he was forced to pay damages ~ apparently he played this song at all hours, so maybe he belongs on the list, not the song, hard to separate out…)
In any event here is the list at last… do feel free to talk about songs you’d include. I’d love to hear about them. One that occurred was What a Lonely Boy by Andrew Gold but I couldn’t think of what I’d really say about it. With that say, I’ve said enough…
s. r. p.
Come Pick Me Up by Ryan Adams - It may be the ultimate fight/fuck song of all time, but Ryan Adams has nailed what breaking up can often be all about in Come Pick Me Up. That said, while clearly a vindictive song, this is also a song (directed to the party who did the injuring here and the hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting …) about being hurt and about wanting to be or resigning himself, hell, even asking to be hurt again. With the line… “I wish you would…” and the rest follow from there. It’s not so much that Adams is just about vengeance, though again that is part of it, but there is also a great deal of self-pity here because he wishes she would:
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends
They’re all full of shit
With a smile on your face
And then do it again
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Steve
Nice to have you back Sadi.
I have the Hall & Oates tune (I have a 3 disc 'best of' of theirs), I also just picked up an ELO box set recently with that "Telephone Line" tune on it, and it seems to me we've discussed the rest on previous lists, except maybe the Terry Jacks tune, re. which, I had never thought of as a 'downer' kind of song, though obviously only because I've never paid attention to the lyrics lol.
Funny how artists can couch dark lyrics with uplifting music and vice versa. Kinda perverse when you think about it lol. I always think of how "Every Breath You Take" by The Police is taken by many folks as a love song when in fact it's a creepy song about a stalker. Interesting how music can mask the message of a song rather than enhance it's meaning.
2 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
hey Steve and thank you..... things have settled down now my other 'thing' is being pain today... (epil. read Here Wear This Stigma etc etc...) so i'm having hard time typing. I have a few songs by Hall an Oates but i like some of their stuff a lot... tho i admit it IS a bit on the poor me side, that much is undeniable i think...
Terry Jacks you never though of a downer???!!! wow! how could you not!! the lyrics pretty much ring out true to me but then, who knows maybe i'm being a real cold hearted pain in arse and he or someone close really was dying or something. I mean, it just sounds that way but my sense is that it's not that way... i could be dead wrong tho so who knows.. in any event, this guy is really done for in every way and if he is dying, he doesn't seem to be doing it with dignity. I think there is even a line ....
" goodbye papa it's hard to die/
when all the birds are singing in the sky/
now that the spring is inthisr/...."
something along those lines i believe... simple.. still, it fits the category. maybe it's not self pity so much as "depressing as hell" in whidh case this list could have gone on forever and ever....
more later... now must get some rest... ; )
nice to see you; pardon typos. i cannot see so well just well...
cheers ~~ s.
3 - Mark Saleski
"Seasons In The Sun". yikes!!
a couple of years outa college, somebody at the office i worked at started a "worst song of all time" contest on a white board in a public area.
the "top" three:
Seasons In The Sun
Billy Don't Be A Hero
The Night Chicago Died
i voted for the latter. can't remember who "won".
4 - Steve
Hmm, Mark, never heard of the other two you list, but given the list they were on, maybe that's just as well lol!!!
"Sugar Mice" by Marillion (from their 1987 album "Clutching At Straws") is one of the most 'downer' tunes I've heard, though it still has much to commend it musically, IMHO.
Sadi, you were talking about having themes for your List, how about happy tunes next week??? (Just wondering which ones I would pick if I could think of any right now, hmmmm....).
5 - DJRadiohead
I love the Ryan Adams cut. It's one of my favorites by him and that is saying something.
That song by ELO used to work my nerves back in college. I don't know why. I just rememeber it grating on me. I did like "Evil Woman," though. Go figure.
Let's get those Elliott Smith songs on here for next week, though!!! I had "King's Crossing" on repeat today. One of the saddest, most bitter, and ultimately beautiful songs I have heard in years. And what a sonic adventure it is.
6 - Rodney Welch
Sadi, You may be too young to have heard of Rod McKuen, but he was all the rage when I was growing up, a master of lovesick hooey, a veritable Thomas Kincaid of poetry, and the poet laureate of desperate housewives everywhere.
He also wrote popular songs, at least two of which -- "Seasons in the Sun" and "MacArthur Park" -- have become classics of wretched excess. He has a website, in case you're interested.
7 - Steve
I happen to have a couple of Rod McKuen songs -
"Love's Been Good To Me" by Frank Sinatra
and I just discovered that I have this one -
"If You Go Away (Ne Me Quitte Pas)" by Shirley Bassey! Sounds very European circa 1960's (naturally, her being Welsh and it being from 1967!!). "Goldfinger" is still my fave of hers, I think.
I've never heard of Elliott Smith, other than on Blogcritics here. I've heard a couple of Ryan Adams tunes, but I must confess, I doubt I would remember them if I heard them again.
8 - chantal stone
Great list Sadi! I'm not sure why, but sad, depressing songs are always my favorites. And I love your Ryan Adams pick. I've only recently started to listen to him, and I thing that is a great song.
I think we talked about this before...Ne Me Quitte Pas....I haven't heard Sting's version, but I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE Nina Simone's. I only understand a little bit of the song--with only 4 years of high school french...but her heartbreak is evident just through her voice.
9 - Steve
Chantal, the only Nina Simone tune I have is "My Baby Just Cares For Me" from the mid 80's.
What album is Sting's version of that French tune on, Sadi??
10 - chantal stone
hey Steve....
do yourself a favor---go out and pick up a Nina Simone cd...I think she has a few "best of.." compilations out there. I promise, you will not be disappointed.
One of my all time favorite Nina songs is "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood". If you can find a cd with that song, that would be great!
11 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
hey Steve... i could only find the Sting version of Ne Me Quitte Pas live, and downloadable, tho i'm sure it's available live somewhere... look for it on allmusic or somewhere like that they are bound to have it i should think... try it out... worth a shot anyway.......
12 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
Mark S. = You are right about the three most pathetic songs... tho i think "Billy Don't Be a Hero" pretty much takes the cake for me... not the sentiment so much as the song itself and the way it is sung... ugh.... thx for the reminder (how could i have left that off.. but hey, i did ask for reminders and that is the point! thx. for that... i'm lovin that one... ~ s. Remember "What a Lonely Boy" ...
13 - Steve
Is that Nina Simone song a cover of the Animals' hit of the same name?? I bought a Very Best Of Elvis Costello last year thinking that his version would be on it but alas, not! Thanks for the tip, Chantal.
14 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
hey Chantal ~ ! yes, the Nina Simone version is pretty great and the obvious heartbreak does come through in the lyrics, you're right... i do like Stings's version (bad accent and all) but Simone is great in her own terrific way and yes, Steve, go out and buy yourself a boxed set of Simone ASAP b/c she's pretty great ~ the more you listen, the more you love...
have you heard the song in English?
Funny thing, i never have, only in French (but i speak french so it's easy to translate well-enough but still, i'd be curious to see how it comes out in English)... to see how the translation is handled... anyone heard it...
i did a list like this a while back but not quite the same, some similar or same songs but didn't go as in depth...
15 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
Another really Stadium Self Pity song is (and you can tell by the title is) Greatest Could Have Been by the group WTT (World's Tallest Thing) same band that did "Gibraltar" which made the list a few lists ago. Check out Amazon for that, i think it's on that album they have there... the lyrics are not explicit despite labeling... not in any way that would warrant the label (i mean, if Peaches doesn't have it, then WTT certainly shouldn't have it...)
check it out and take a listen on Amazon. The title of the album is Be Prepared to Stop and the song is Greatest Could Have Been (or Always the Greatest Could Have Been)... Well worth the time...
cheers all...
s.
16 - Steve
It's not on an album at allmusic.com, Sadi, oh well!!
I forgot to mention the only solo song I have of Andrew Gold is a cover version of "Never Let Her Slip Away" (from 1978) by Undercover (from 1992).
17 - Steve
Sadi, my version by Shirley Bassey is in English.
18 - wiklagirl
Come Pick Me Up is a great choice - but then I'm known in some parts as a Ryan obsessive
Btw, 'Seasons in the Sun' is an English translation of 'Le Moribond' (The Dying Man) by the amazing Jacques Brel
Slainte !
19 - Mike
...and Jacques Brel wrote Ne Me Quitte Pas.
20 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
Wilkagirl! wow! i had NO idea that Jacques Brel did that and we're fans here... i mean, we know most things French i should say... so it's funny we didn't know.. thanks for the information.... that's amazing....
I knew he wrote Ne Me Quitte Pas, Mike = or at least, did a version of it, that much i knew for sure, but i did not know that he did Seasons in the Sun... it all starts to make sense.
Glad you like the list Wilkagirl...that the Ryan Adams choice made sense to you - the live version especially makes sense in a screwed up but great way... not sure if this list is self pity as much as it is just songs that are sadly pathetic...
in any event....
thanks for the info both!
interesting....which is why we have such a great comments section on the List i think... such a great exchange of information...
thx again.... be well all ~
21 - Steve
I believe he co-wrote it with the aforementioned McKuen, Mike.
22 - Mike
Steve, Jacques Brel wrote Ne Me Quitte Pas. Ten years later McKuen worked on an English version set to Brel's tune, though the English lyric isn't a direct translation of Brel's French lyric.
Many have covered both the French and English versions.
23 - Mike
If you search out Brel's lyric and McKuen's "translation" you'll see that they have precious little in common.
24 - Steve
OK, Mike, thanks for clarifying, that's helpful.
25 - Steve
Hay, Sadi, any idea when the next list might be up this week??