Everybody's had dreams like this: you're in some public place and you're naked. Or maybe you just forgot to put your pants on. Or your shirt. And boy are you embarrassed. Ok now, there's a variation on this dream. You're still in public, you're still naked, you're still embarrassed....but nobody else seems to realize it. What's worse about this is the feeling that's you're 'detached' from the situation, that you don't belong there and you don't know why. I mean, gees...you're naked & freaked out about it, and yet nobody cares. You're thinkin', well, just what the hell is going on here?
I had a recurring dream like this when I was a little kid. I'd show up at a meet & greet thing at a mall to say hello to Brady Bunch middle girl Eve Plumb (Jan Brady, and yea...I had a monstrous crush on her)...in my underpants. Cripes, I just wanted to die. Eve was so nice to me, despite my lack of pants! I just couldn't figure out why nobody thought this was a big deal. It was the little kid Twilight Zone.
This feeling of nervous detachment washes over me when I listen to stuff like King of Crunk & Bme Recordings Present: Lil Scrappy & Trillville. The music consists of heavy beats, a hook that never varies and miles & miles of weak rapping about bitchez, niggaz, ho's, pussy, punchin' stuff, shootin stuff and...well, you get the idea. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really 'offended' by it. I just don't get it. I don't see why anybody else would get it either.
So this is 'crunk'? I do a little surfin' and find an article about hip hop dude Cee Lo. He's been putting out records that outfunk Outcast. His take on crunk:
- He feels that "heart" is what's missing from the most familiar type of Southern hip hop, known as "crunk." The style is marked by nonstop booty anthems. "That music isn't dealing with real life," Cee-Lo says.
He warns that if hip-hop stars don't mature, they'll stand little chance of lasting.
He goes on to say that some of what's going on with these rappers is plain old survival. They're trying to get a hit. Hmmmm....that might be true, but it doesn't make wanna listen to "What the F***" or "Diamonds In My Pinky Ring".
Well, maybe if Eve Plumb puts out a crunk record...
Ok, maybe not.
(First posted on Mark Is Cranky)