The Good, the Bad, and the Indifferent - 10 "Unlistenable" Albums - Page 2

4) Lou Reed - Metal Machine Music - Lou one ups Neil: no set, no guitars - just the feedback.

5) The Velvet Underground - Squeeze - replacement player Doug Yule one ups both Neil and Lou by getting rid of Lou and having the nerve to still call it the Velvet Underground. Supposedly Ian Paice from Deep Purple somehow ended up playing drums, but I've never ever read or heard of him actually admitting it.

6) Captain Beefheart - Trout Mask Replica - it's supposed to be brilliant, but I still have a hard time getting through it in one sitting. Maybe it's not supposed to be liked.

7) Cowboy Junkies - The Trinity Sessions - a beautiful album actually, but I have to take it in small doses - it's so relaxing that I always fall asleep after the first two ro three songs.

8) John Coltrane - Ascension - free form jazz at its peak, but just a traffic jam of horns to the uninitiated (all votes for Ornette Coleman's Free Jazz are acceptable here too).

9) The Monkees - Changes ummm..... this is supposed to be so bad that I've never actually heard it - heck, I've never even seen a copy of it either, which makes it either truly terrible, or else a collectors' item.

10) Brian Eno - Ambient #1 - Music for Airports - OK, it's cheating a bit, but you're not supposed to listen to Eno's Ambient series; it's designed to be ignored and run as background. Actually listening to it is a chore, but if you're doing chores, it's rather soothing (especially if you happen to work at an airport).

So the next time you're listening to tunes at a big party and someone says, "I can't even listen to (insert name of once famous artist) anymore," pull out one of these priceless platters (if you have any of them) and keep an eye on your watch. It likely won't be long before many of your friends suddenly grab their coats and wave their goodbyes because they just all at this very moment thought they all had to go back home and check up on their babysitters. Or else dig up their Lou albums.....

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JC Mosquito spends most of his day keeping the wolves from the door. When he's not occupied with this pasttime, he's interested in all things rock and roll, which may or may not have died back in the late '50's, the late '70's, or the early '90's …

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  • 1 - Mark Saleski

    Aug 21, 2007 at 10:00 am

    heh! you fricken' trouble maker!

    ok, i haven't heard the Hendrix, VU, or monkees entries.

    other than those, i like everything else on the list. i guess i'm just wired funny.

  • 2 - The Schine

    Aug 21, 2007 at 11:21 am

    Heard and have them all -- but while "Changes", "Arc", "Metal Machine" and "Trout Mask" are difficult, they're tame compared to Wildman Fischer, Mrs. Miller, Legendary Stardust Cowboy, and John and Yoko's "scream therapy" stuff.

    Really other than the Shaggs, most of this stuff is garden variety bad, step up to the plate and enjoy true terror in it's purist form - Evel Knievel singing "Why?" or an Yma Sumac album? Or the classic "Muhammad Ali vs. Tooth decay" - there's an album.

  • 3 - Gordon Hauptfleisch

    Aug 21, 2007 at 11:59 am

    Ah Precious Moments: As a record store employee at the time, unwittingly subjecting a store full of customers to sizeable shards o' 'Metal Machine Music'.

    But where's 'The Ethel Merman Disco Album', Bing Crosby's 'Hey Bing/Hey Jude', and the Del Rubio Triplets, 'Three Gals, Three Guitars'?

  • 4 - Mark Saleski

    Aug 21, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    Ethel Merman Disco Album? yow.

  • 5 - JC Mosquito

    Aug 21, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    Urk. Some of these additions sound practically unimaginable much less unlistenable.

    I assume Ali beat Tooth Decay by a knockout(!).

  • 6 - Glen Boyd

    Aug 21, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    Wheres "My Name is Larry" by Wild Man Fischer?

    -Glen

  • 7 - JANK

    Aug 21, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    Ahhh I disagree on the Eno and Capt Beefheart. Edge music, yes but that doesn't make them unlistenable. Ascension I did try however and I will grant you that call. I tried but I couldn't latch on to it at all.

  • 8 - Mark Saleski

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    Philip Glass - Music With Changing Parts

    that'll challenge yer attention span.

  • 9 - Tom Johnson

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    I guess I'm nuts. I dig Ascension as well as the Shaggs.

    I played Arc one day not too long ago to see how my wife would react. It took her 3 minutes and 30 seconds before she said, clearly a bit frustrated, "Okay, what are we listening to?!" I don't know that most people would make it even that far.

  • 10 - Mark Saleski

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:05 pm

    "Okay, what are we listening to?!"

    i'll be damned, our wives say the exact same thing!

    ;-)

  • 11 - Catey

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:49 pm

    Ok, so I went to amazon and listened to the Shaggs, on their nifty song sampler there, and it gave me vertigo.Thats indeed very hard to listen to, but I couldnt resist it.

  • 12 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    I'm gonna say anything from The Grateful Dead & The cd that Billy Bob Thorton just released....

    Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you meant Avant/Noise. I personally could handle pretty much any of the stuff you listed because it is like art & they are just trying to explore but most of the sh!t that people value,usually, is the stuff I can't stand.
    (The list would be way too long for an article, but maybe I will have a crack at a new series...lol)

  • 13 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    *BTW* Adult Themes for Voice by Mike Patton is a pretty good album to piss people off with.

  • 14 - JC Mosquito

    Aug 21, 2007 at 2:59 pm

    I guess there's a fine line between unlistenable good and unlistenable bad. Neil Young's Arc is a hard listen, but good - I've been through it a few times. But his Journey Through the Past Soundtrack remains one of only two of his albums not available on CD - it's unlistenable bad - once is enough.

    Don't know why Time Fades Away isn't available tho' - it's a a pretty decent album, somewhere in the top quarter of his work, I've always felt, and certainly listenable on all levels.

    Interesing story about Coltrane's Ascension: they did two takes, and Coltrane chose one of them for release. When the album came out, he said it was the wrong take, so subsequent album pressings used the alternate instead. However, no one, including the players, really knew which was take one or take two, despite there being significant differences in the order of the soloists. Nowadays, both version are available on CD, labelled Ascension I and II, but most people can't tell the difference anyway.

  • 15 - JC Mosquito

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:01 pm

    Catey - If you listen to the Shaggs long enough, it makes perfectly good sense - but it's a work of art that references only itself.

  • 16 - Mark Saleski

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:05 pm

    Adult Themes for Voice by Mike Patton is a pretty good album to piss people off with.

    Pranzo Oltranzista is good for that too.

    now if you'll excuse me, i've gotta go listen to Workingman's Dead.

  • 17 - john

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    my wife would probably nominate any recording by Anthony Braxton

  • 18 - Catey

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    I would have to chew some Bonine first.:P

  • 19 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus

    Aug 21, 2007 at 3:47 pm

    Hey Mark, you just go ahead and do that...
    Of course, I won't excuse you. I won't even give you a stay of execution...Bastard. *Smirk*

  • 20 - Mark Saleski

    Aug 21, 2007 at 4:04 pm

    dang guppus...and i was about to finish my Terrapin Station/Killers mashup disc. ;-)

  • 21 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus

    Aug 21, 2007 at 4:28 pm

    Yea.. But would you really hear a difference when you did that!? It's all the same crap anyways...lol;)

  • 22 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus

    Aug 21, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    *oops* - Unless you're referring to Maiden's Killers.

  • 23 - Mark Saleski

    Aug 21, 2007 at 4:33 pm

    shoot, i guess i should have said Terrapin Station/The Number of the Beast.

    ;-)

  • 24 - Glen Boyd

    Aug 21, 2007 at 5:20 pm

    I've actually got a promo copy of "Arc - The Single". It's a three minute edit. All ya need right there.

    -Glen

  • 25 - Chris Beaumont

    Aug 21, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    Primitive Enema by The Butt Trumpets. If you can sit through that, you can sit through anything. Plus any album by The Locust, though I have only seen them live, I cannot imagine a CD being better.

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