The Friday Morning Listen: Parry Gripp - For Those About To Shop, We Salute You

Part of: Friday Morning Listen

So last night we're in the middle of a mashup of Thanksgiving television marathons, switching back & forth between replays of Mythbusters (duct tape cannon!!) and Julia Child's The French Chef (I never really knew what a capon was, and now I wish I didn't). The advertising was relentless, with stores hammering their openings at increasingly early hours — 6AM, 5:30, 3AM. It's crazy. But hey, I'll take those ads over the medication-related junk that normally dominates prime time. Besides, I've got nothing against commerce, even if I'm not all that interested in it.

Yeah, we're sort of past our big retail binge years. The 'kids' still might be interested in stuff like the Wii or xBox but I'll be damned if I'm going to get anything that contributes to the GreatBrainShrivel™. What we end up getting people doesn't (thankfully) require venturing out before the roosters are up to seek out deals. No, we slept in and then got up to have coffee and scones. Our big dinner is today (kids had their Thanksgiving with all the other families yesterday), so the cooking will commence shortly. Actually, the onions for the stuffing are already in the sauté pan, so we're on our way.

Since I've never been a big mall shopper, this idea of Black Friday has always mystified me. After all of the work of putting on the big dinner, why the heck would anybody want to pile into the mini-van and put up with the hordes? Yes, I know, the deals. Seriously, with the state of the economy and all, will they actually retract the deals after today? Honestly, I have no idea. And sure, I do know that some people just love to shop. In my former lifetime, I had relatives who used to get up early for the two-hour drive down to Freeport, Maine to indulge in Black Friday at the outlets. Despite the crowds and crazed parking situation, it always seemed like they had a great time.

As I type this, I have a cousin down in Connecticut who's putting in his twelve hours as a salesman at Best Buy. Word has it that the younger workers there are a bunch of slackers, with him putting them to shame with his results. I swear, I hope he makes one of 'em cry today. Yeah, let's put a different style of black in Black Friday.

Me, I'm gonna put in twelve hours of slackification. Dang, the Deadliest Catch marathon started 48 minutes ago. Gotta run...

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Article Author: Mark Saleski

Mark Saleski is a writer and music obsessive based out of the Monadnock region of New Hampshire. He is an editor and writer for Jazz.com. He also writes reviews for Blogcritics.org and produces the weekly feature The Friday Morning Listen. …

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  • For Those About to Shop, We Salute You For Those About to Shop, We Salute You

    Soon after announcing his retirement from Nerf Herder in 2003, front man Gripp was offered an opportunity to write a jingle to promote frozen waffles that come with their own dipping sauce. ...

Article comments

  • 1 - Valentino

    Nov 27, 2009 at 9:53 am

    On the way home from Thanksgiving dinner at a relative's house, I saw people in lawn chairs with blankets on in a line wrapped around a Wal Mart. I'm guessing they missed Thanksgiving dinner and I wondered how anyone could actually want to to that, regardless of how much money they saved. My time is worth more than that. My hat's off to you for avoiding that insanity.

  • 2 - Glen Boyd

    Nov 27, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    The whole idea of Black Friday absolutely mystifies me. Of course, that's probably cause I'm broke.

    -Glen

  • 3 - Mary K. Williams

    Dec 01, 2009 at 8:21 am

    love it...nice piece dude!

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