I sat there with my Firefox session split into several tabs, some of which were loaded with different news websites: FOX News, MSNBC, CNN. It was fairly obvious, given the evening's trends, what was about to happen. Pennsylvania went for Obama, as did Ohio. In fact, I happened to be staring at an Obama photo on the FOX site, captioned with the news of Ohio, when the page refreshed to present the stunning reality of it all: President-elect Barack Obama.
By the time I'd clicked on the other news tabs, they had all been updated as if synchronized. The news felt unreal, almost dreamlike.
On the faces of all of those people crammed into Chicago's Grant Park, the looks of positive expectation turned to unbridled joy. There were smiles and there were tears. People do cry in their dreams.
When Barack Obama and his family strode onto that stage amidst all of those American flags, buoyed by that sea of positive energy, I could no longer hold back the tears. It was a powerful moment in so many ways. I was happy for the country, but my emotions took off in several directions at once. I knew that this event would have had my mother in tears as well.
It's at instants like this that a sense of time-dislocation surfaces, leaving me temporarily disoriented. I know she's gone — the easy chair at the bottom of the stairs is still there, pointing at the television she's not watching. It seems so unfair that she didn't make it to see this day. I revisit all of the elections past, all of the triumphs and disappointments of November 4th. It then occurs to me that she's still here — in me. Her values, instilled in me through all of those years of discussion, are the main reason I'm feeling the way that I do.
My sense of injustice is muted as I snap back into the moment. Euphoria trumps sadness as I sit back to enjoy the rest of the spectacle. For the first time in a very long time, and despite the world's many troubles yet to be addressed, it seems that hope for the future is not just another empty idea.
Article comments
1 - Mat Brewster
That was really beautiful, Mark. When Obama gave his acceptance speech, I sat on my couch alone and cried. I've never cried at a political speech. My usual feelings on election night are annoyance. This time I felt elated, and might have even pumped my fist a time or two.
2 - Lisa Solod Warren
Gorgeous piece, Mark. Your mama woulda been proud of you. Glad you could write about her. Glad she gave you so much.
3 - dyrkness
You're Freudian slip "a very lone time" says it all.