The Proclaimers are nothing if not a mass of contradictions, is what The Duke has deduced from years of committed fandom.
To wit; Two blokes who look like the least likely rock stars one could envision, simultaneously become among the most recognisable examples of such to have been spawned in the last two decades. Blonde haired, industrial-strength glasses, identical twins.
They yack on, in their delightful Scottish brogue-infected harmonies, about reform, progression, and yet the emotional core of their material is often defiantly traditionalist, conservative even, by God.
Their first album starts with a song about how much of a pain in the filth-spheres it is when folks yack on about they have to tone down their accents, and yet those same accents propelled I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) to the top of the charts from, well, Wester Ross to Nova motherfucking Scotia.
They are among the most parodied acts in popular culture, not least in the form of the astounding Drunken Oral Sex Blues over on some site by the name of Mondo Irlando, run by some foul-mouthed motherfucker from The Northern Irelands, and yet, the consistent quality of every one of their albums renders any jibe-flinging irrelevant. Like Billy Bragg or Shane MacGowan, those other British lyrical geniuses what soared to prominence in the early 80's after serving time in a number of punk outfits, The Proclaimers are easy targets for caricature, but when you sit down and listen to that music, man, it's enough to give a motherfucker a severe dose of the "awe".
After flinging a reputedly terribly-recorded demo in the direction of The Housemartins' guitarist Stan Cullimore, and finding an influential advocate in Kevin Rowland of Dexys Midnight Runners, the duo were booked to appear on Channel 4's pop-music extravaganza The Tube, hosted by Paula Yates, and Jools Holland, later to have his own show with the BBC's highly regarded Later… With The Keyboardist From Squeeze.
Couple months after that amazing televised performance, the pair went into a studio for 9 days and knocked out their debut, This Is The Story. Few weeks later the thing was in the stores. That's a bafflingly quick turnaround for something as consistently magnificent as the first Disc De Proclaimers.
Stan Cullimore tells a story about how the fellas hid in a large cupboard during a party at the Chrysalis Records offices, then jumped out once everyone was sufficiently plastered. They played their set, the gin-giddy execs adored them, and signed them there and then.
Fuck knows if such a story is true, but why would he lie, man? What would he have to gain from that kind of motherfucking fabrication?
Anyway, being something of a renowned critic of cultural motherfucking affairs, I felt it my duty for to offer a history of these Proclaimers cats via a detailed intellectual critique of each of their recordings.
Which is why we start with This Is The Story, being chronologically first in line.
Maybe Tarantino wants to screw with the narrative and have album 3 coming first, like that Goddard cat from the films about the French, but The Duke is gonna go out on a limb, and spit in the face of general consensus and so on, and take this motherfucker from A to B in an organised manner.
Article comments
1 - Jim Carruthers
Now, while they're no Macc Lads or Dumpy's Rusty Nuts (and yes, I do have albums from both of those fine groups), those two lads do make fine tunes.
But they are a warning to all those pop tarts who try to make it on their looks. Jumped up Jebus, have you seen the pair of them lately?
Right to make you cack yer kecks.
(or however that bit o faux gobshite is supposed to go).
2 - Bob A. Booey
I have no idea what you're talking about and I read only parts of this yet I was still entertained even if I couldn't bring myself to read more than a sentence or two at a glance.
I would walk 500 miles for you, Duke.
Teenage Psychopath would have been a good Ramones song.
3 - Jenni
You're a genius!! They are fabulous!!
I've read this article over and over for days now, would you PLEASE update it with some more of your writing genius? Thanks!!!
Mr. Carruthers have you seen them in person lately? They are very easy on the eyes these days. :)