Let's for a second forget the whole thing about how The Duke is a stone-cold mercenary, at least 97.6% solid granite and also thirsting for vengeance of some sort, likely on account of some horrific post-Vietnam attack on my pigeon.
That pigeon was the only one who understood me, is what.
Forget that shit for a second, if you can, because there's a hitherto unsuspected truth to be flung at you, dear reader, like some verbal ninja star dripping with revelation.
The Duke, it will stun the hell out of you to learn, is something of a sucker for a good old slushy ballad. A song about "Aw, shucks, I'm a tough, unshaven fella with a chest bigger than your own, most likely, but still, you make me all gooey and shit, is what", that kinda stuff is enough to make The Duke feel all sentimental and nostalgic and full of the "warmth".
I even quite liked that Bryan Adams song about Everything I Do Is For You, You Motherfucker or whatever. I watched that video, like, a million times or somethin', and then for some reason I ended up robbing the post office with a bow and arrow.
The Media Is Killing Our Children With Suggestions And Also Knives, Guns, Headbutts.
Anyway, the point of it all is that I have been, for the past few days, enjoying This I Gotta See, the new record by a country-singin' character named Andy Griggs. First time I put it on, I'm thinking about how it's pleasant enough, as far as contemporary Nashville product is concerned. Second track in, I'm even thinking up some line-dancing moves I could perform to it, if it wasn't for the fact that The Duke is far too mysterious, moody, dark around the soul to be prancing back and forth in snakeskin boots and a cowboy hat in a town hall in the middle of drizzle-soaked County Antrim.
Next thing I know, though, from out of nowhere there's this song by the name of She Thinks She Needs Me, and I collapse in a heap, inoperably wounded in the slush-gland. He knew were to strike, man. And the result is that I find his record delightful.